The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga
by Queenie Z
Summary: Meanwhile, in the Hyrulian version of Valhalla, where the Heroes go when they die… A series of cracky shorts featuring all of the Links and their wacky adventures in the afterlife. (This story is currently on HIATUS. Please read the FAQ for more details!)
1. Frequently Asked Questions (READ FIRST!)

**Frequently Asked Questions for The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**

**Updated 12/07/2013!**

Alright, folks, before we get to your regularly scheduled FAQ, I have something important to address.

**As of December 2013, The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga will be on HIATUS until further notice.**

**Q: What!? Hiatus!? But why!?**

Well, three reasons:

**1) I want to create a reboot that includes A Link Between Worlds and fixes various continuity details. **Now that ALBW is out and I've had the chance to play it (and yes, it's fantastic as always), I've decided that the most convenient way for me to sneak that game and Link into the series is to simply retcon him in; however, in the process, I will also be taking the time to correct the inconsistencies regarding LTTP/Oracles/LA by making Light and Duo a single person (he'll still be called Light) and changing around the seniority of the Links a bit (currently Engie is the second youngest, which doesn't work very well if you think about his close proximity to Wind's era). I still plan to exclude the original Four Swords for the reasons I've already given, however. I may tweak various other things as I generate new ideas for it, but those are the primary issues I'll be addressing.

**2) I want to focus exclusively on other stories for a while and begin HVS again with fresh ideas. **I certainly haven't run out of ideas for fics, believe me, but after nearly two years of writing HVS stories I kind of need a break. :P A Link Between Worlds' release has sparked lots of great ideas for stories about that game, and I also want to dip my toes into the waters of the Fire Emblem fandom as well. Then, when I feel ready to come back to HVS, I'll be able to do it with fresh new eyes.

**3) The dreaded Real Life Obligations ™**. Surprisingly (read: not really), I have a life outside the internet that takes precedence, and I now have graduate level schoolwork and a job that I didn't have when I started the series (this is the number one reason why updates have slowed down over the past year, fyi). I'm also going through a potential change in living arrangements involving my entire family, so timing my hiatus now lets me finish off strong rather than wait until I lack the time or energy to do so and let the fic simply die off.

**Q: So, when will the series be back?**

Probably in a few months, barring that I don't change my mind about starting it back up again. Basically, if I feel like I can bring it back as I hope to, I will, and if I don't, you'll have 110 stories you can still enjoy with a nice little ending to wrap things up. The last thing I want to do is abandon the series without a proper send-off, because abandoned fics make readers and authors sad.

So, with that said, I hope you enjoy this one last story before the break, and I hope to be able to restart things nice and fresh in a few months. Keep checking my profile and/or fic blog for non-HVS related stories, and I hope to see you all again soon!

Happy Holidays!

-Queenie

(The original FAQ is located below for your convenience.)

* * *

><p>I never thought I'd write something so long-lasting and popular that it would need its own FAQ page, but I suppose there's a first time for everything!<p>

The following is a list of the questions I get most often, some story related and some meta. I try to be as clear as possible in explaining things within the story itself (or the side stories), so many of these questions have answers written into the story somewhere; you just have to read closely. But if I've somehow made things confusing for the reader, then I do apologize and hope that this FAQ will clear things up. **Please refer to this page first if you have any questions regarding the series. Any additional inquiries may be directed to me via private messaging – do not use the reviews to ask me questions about the story!**

**Q: Which nickname corresponds to which Link, and why are they named that?**

In order of timeline chronology (assuming that the three alternate timelines occur parallel to each other):

**Sky**  
>- Skyward Sword Link. Named so because he's the Hero who descended from the sky.<p>

**Mini**  
>- Minish Cap Link. Named for his working together with the Minish people; it's also a bit of a joke at the expense of his height.<p>

**Time**  
>- Ocarina of TimeMajora's Mask Link. Named because... well, he was the Hero of Time. Fairly straightforward. Also, unless otherwise stated, he's usually in his adult form.

**Twilight**  
>- Twilight Princess Link; I also include Crossbow Training in his history. Named for being the savior of the Twilight Realm.<p>

**Light**  
>- A Link to the PastLink's Awakening Link. He was known as the one who brought light to the dark realm in the legends of his era. The meta reason for it is that he has no title and the name of his games don't lend much, so I simply went with what sounded good. Don't confuse him with Twilight!

**Wind**  
>- Wind WakerPhantom Hourglass Link. Named for being the Hero of Winds. Again, straightforward. And yes, WW Link and PH Link are the same person.

**Green, Red, Blue, and Vio**  
>- Four Swords Adventures Links. Named for and based on their manga counterparts, though the actual events of their adventure are based on the game. So, sorry, no complex relationship with Shadow Link here. Also, the whole persona is also named Green, mostly for consistency's sake.<p>

**Duo**  
>- Oracle games Link. Named for basically going on two adventures and saving two worlds at once.<p>

**Engie**  
>- Spirit Tracks Link. Named for his primary occupation in life.<p>

**Brown**  
>- Legend of ZeldaAdventure of Link. Named for being the only brunette in a sea of blonde Links. And, yes, I know he's portrayed as blonde in some of the first game's official art, but by Zelda 2 he was pretty much cemented as a brunette for both game art and supplemental material, so I'm going with that.

**Q: Which canons and sources are you basing the story off of?**

My primary sources are **the games themselves** and **Hyrule Historia**, with a few minor alterations to suit storytelling purposes. The story follows the Historia timeline, though Four Swords has been omitted (I already had the FSA guys and I didn't need to write another Link with the exact same shtick) and the Link from LTTP/LA/Oracle games have been written as two different Links instead of one (I began writing the fic before the specifics of the timeline had been translated into English).

I do take inspiration from the Akira Himekawa mangas, but only regarding the Links' personalities; the events of each Links' adventures are solely based on the games. The only exception to this rule is the character of the Hero's Spirit (introduced in Chapter 65), who is indeed the Link from the Skyward Sword prequel manga included with Hyrule Historia. I was reluctant to include him at first, but after popular demand and the translation of Eiji Aonuma declaring the prequel manga canon I wrote him in.

The following Zelda-related materials are **NOT **included within HVS' timeline: the American cartoon series, the CD-i games, the Valiant comics or any comic/manga except the Skyward Sword prequel, the BS Zelda games, the Super Smash Brothers games, and Soul Calibur 2.

**Q: How can all the Links exist at once even though they're from different timelines? Shouldn't Light, Duo, and Brown not exist because Time is there? Shouldn't Wind and Twilight be unable to coexist? Do three Times exist because he was in all three splits?**

The afterlife exists outside of Hyrule's timestreams, running parallel to them. Everyone from each timeline ends up there when they die; people who exist in Ocarina of Time's era where the split occurred have the collective memories of all three histories they experienced (excluding Time, who's defeat in the downfall timeline was wiped from his memory as an act of mercy by the goddesses). Also, don't think about it too much, it's Zelda for crying out loud.

**Q: But Duo was the one in Link's Awakening, not Light! Shouldn't they be the same people?**

Again, **I began this story before that little detail had been translated from Hyrule Historia**, and when it was it was already too late to change things. In my defense, however, making the Link from LTTP, LA, and the Oracle Games the same Link is an all-out retconning the games' events (Why would Zelda look like a completely different person from LTTP to the Oracle games? Why does she need to introduce herself in the latter if she knew him from the former? Why does Impa not know that Link managed to save the world once before? etc.) and I had no way of knowing Nintendo would do that. So, sorry.

**Q: Who were the Links married to in life/who were their kids?**

I get the first one a lot and the second one a little less frequently. I _do _have a general idea of which Links married, which didn't, and what kind of children they had if they had any children at all, and these tidbits may be mentioned in passing during the course of the story; for example, Twilight's wedding was mentioned in the first hot springs chapter, Time's two sons were mentioned in a side story, and another side story revealed that Brown remained a bachelor despite wanting a family of his own.

However, **the focus of HVS is the interactions between the different Links**, and as such I would find the revelation of _who _the Links married/fell in love with to distract from that. Basically, HVS is shipping neutral and is likely going to stay that way.

**Q: Do the Links ever see other characters in their afterlife?**

Of course they do! I simply focus on the interactions between Links; they spend time with all of their friends and family members off-screen. And don't worry; with the exception of Fi, if a Link cared about someone, they were able to see them again after death.

**Q: Can the Links get sick or injured in the afterlife?**

Only temporarily; chronic health problems are completely cured, and it's impossible to contract a disease or be permanently injured. However, they can still feel pain - getting stabbed would still hurt like hell, though it wouldn't leave a wound and the pain would be short lived - and they can suffer from momentary ailments such as headaches, nausea, dizziness, etc. etc. Basically, it's a way for them to still feel human while being pretty much immortal.

**Q: Are the Links related to each other by blood in this story?**

Only Time and Twilight are, so far. The heroic line isn't a bloodline per se; it's a line of successive reincarnations of the Hero's Spirit. So, while some of the Links _could _be related, it's not always the case. (Besides, if they were all directly related, how would Light come around in the downfall timeline, or Wind in the adult one?)

**Q: I didn't get the joke in this chapter!**

Sometimes you may not get a game-specific joke if you never played that particular Zelda game. That's okay! I'll be happy to explain it to you if you ask.

**Q: Why is Time's life so tragic? ;_;**

Because Nintendo wanted to reach deep into our chests and tear our hearts into tiny little pieces, that's why. ;_;

**Q: Will the Dark Links ever feature into anymore stories?**

Because I've finished all three of the "Trial" side stories I wanted to write, as of now I have no immediate plans to utilize them. I will likely revisit the Dark Links in the future, however, when I have fresh ideas on how to incorporate them.

**Q: Can you do a version for the Zeldas/the sidekicks/the villains?**

**HVS is a story solely about interactions between Links. **I have no intention of including other characters outside of being mentioned by the Links or in flashbacks. I also don't intend on creating any spin-off series.

However, should someone else want to utilize a similar premise for the Zeldas or whoever, they're more than free to do so! I'd be very interested in reading what someone else could do with it.

**Q: What will happen in the story when Nintendo releases a new Zelda game with a new Link? Will he be added to the story?**

That depends on where the new game fits in the timeline, and whether or not I'm finished with the series by then. If there's no good way to throw him in, I may simply disregard it (as much as I wouldn't want to do so, but at this point a retcon would be a nightmare to attempt, haha). But, we'll see.

**Q: Will we see more Wolf Link?**

If I can think of a funny situation to put him in, yes.

**Q: Write a story about the Sheik debate!**

**No way. **I ain't touching that with a ten-foot pole.

**Q: So this is a yaoi fic, right?**

No. The main series is a comedy first and foremost. I do occasionally write Link/Link for the less comedic side stories; however, yaoi is a _very_ specific genre utilizing certain character roles and tropes that I want to generally avoid. Not all stories featuring male/male pairings are yaoi.

Basically, if you want any Link/Link stuff, go read the side stories; however, if you're specifically looking for yaoi genre stories, they probably won't fit the bill.

**Q: This series and the Tumblr ask blog Ask Time and Twilight (asktimeandtwilight . tumblr . com) are awfully similar; do you write for both of them?**

Yes; I run Ask Time and Twilight as a parallel project to HVS. In fact, the blog and the fics are in continuity with each other for the most part, and I often use one to generate ideas for the other. The ask blog also contains a lot of supplemental information that I haven't been able to write into the fics, so if you're interested, go check it out!

**Q: Write one where X and Y do Z and then A, B, and C come along and - **

Yes, I take suggestions, but keep in mind that **I'm not obligated to write anything you suggest to me**. I write suggestions when I feel like I'll have fun writing them and I can think I can create a good end product from them. tl;dr: suggest away; if I write it, I write it, and if I don't, don't take it personally.

**Q: Can I draw fanart for/illustrate your stories?**

YES YES OH GODDESSES YES DRAW FOR ME PLEASE, DRAW ALL THE THINGS AND _SHOW THEM TO ME_

But seriously, there's nothing more I love than having my fics illustrated. Even if you're not a very good artist (I can't judge since there's a reason I write instead of draw, lol) I'll make sure to favorite it (if it's on DeviantArt) and show it off with pride.

**Q: Can I write my own fic set in/based on/similar to HVS?**

Since I'm not the only person to write about the spirits of dead Links hanging out, I can't exactly take credit for the concept. If you want to do something similar, go ahead.

If you want to utilize the HVS 'verse specifically, I have no way of stopping you either. However, take note that I'm not obligated to give a seal of approval to your story or to incorporate it into mine (this also goes for artwork).

**Q: y u linkcest tho?**

Because why not?

**Q: but I don't like linkcest**

Then don't read the side stories marked with a pairing.

**Q: I'm married to Link.**

No you're not. I am. _On the Astral Plane._ /insert trippy New Age music here


	2. Holy Nayru This Ale Is Delicious

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Holy Nayru This Ale Is Delicious**_

Four of the Legendary Heroes sat at a round table drinking the Ale of the Goddesses. One great thing about being reunited with your other lives in death is that you could all go drinking together as much as you wanted to without ever having to worry about liver failure. Plus, it was the best damn ale any of them had ever tasted.

The newest of the group, the Hero who had awakened the sleeping Princess Zelda in life, laughed raucously. He was the giggly one, the others had discovered, whose thirst for adventure remained just as strong in death as in life. Especially when he was intoxicated. He snorted. "I can't believe you guys! Complaining about how big Death Mountain is? I found my way around it _twice_."

The Hero of Time, who not only saved two lands but also rewrote history forever, pouted at the former's mocking. He tended to become more sensitive and emotional when under the influence. "Hey, not everyone's got a built-in compass like you!"

The brunette tilted his chair back and snickered. "Heheh! It's not my fault I know Hyrule like the back of my — _whoa_!" He lost his balance, tipping over in his seat. Yet he took no offense when the others laughed at him; in fact, he joined in, stumbling to get back up and place his chair upright again.

The Hero who had restored both Hyrule and the world of twilight clutched at his stomach when he began to hurt from laughter. "Ahahaha… whew, guys, hey, guys," he waved his arms in the air, trying to get the others' attention. "Speaking of Death Mountain - _Goron catching_." Yes, it was another one of his crazy, thrill-seeking ideas; his cowboy side only becoming more apparent after ingesting alcohol. "You get a Goron to roll into you, and you try to catch them. It'll be the next big thing!"

The Hero of Time stopped laughing and looked at his future self with genuine concern in his eyes. "But that would _hurt_! Gorons are big; they'd squash you flat!"

"No they won't. I did it before."

"I don't believe you!"

"But what's a Goron, anyway?" asked the newest Hero.

"A Goron," the former farmhand explained, "is made of rocks. They eat rocks." He scratched his head. "And they _are_ rocks, too… so… um…" He turned to his left, where the Hero who had forged the Master Sword, their senior, was sitting. "Hey, help me out here — "

He was interrupted by a loud snore. The Hero from the sky was already sound asleep, his face firmly planted on the surface of the table. Meanwhile, the newest Hero just started laughing again.


	3. You Suck At Ghost Stories

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**You Suck At Ghost Stories**_

It was campfire night, and all campfire nights needed a good ghost story. Or two. Or twelve. Either way, it was the Hero from the sky's turn, but he'd taken a short break to munch on his s'more. No, he wasn't very good at keeping the atmosphere for a ghost story, but he thought his story was plenty creepy nonetheless.

"So," he said, swallowing his delicious marshmallowy treat, "I entered the Silent Realm, and I had to collect these tears in order to pass the trial."

The Hero of Twilight snorted. "Ooh, tears, big deal."

"It gets scarier! See, I couldn't just walk around and grab them. No, I had to run around and avoid _the guardians_."

"Guardians?" Piped up the Hero who had restored the Spirit Tracks. "You mean, like Phantoms?"

"Kind of. They would normally be asleep, but if you woke them up - " his face grew serious as he spoke, " - they would chase you. And you couldn't hide from them, either. They _knew_ where you were. And if you couldn't grab a tear before they caught you…!"

"You have to start all over again, right?" The Hero of Winds rolled his big, expressive eyes. "You're not very good at ghost stories, Sky."

The affectionately nicknamed 'Sky' pouted. "…Well it was pretty scary to me."

The Hero of the light and dark worlds spoke up. "They sound about as scary as Wallmasters." He stuck a marshmallow on his twig and began to roast it. "The only terrifying part is the thought of having to start back at the beginning."

"You guys don't get it! I didn't even have a sword or anything!"

"Neither did we!" cried the Hero of Winds and his successor simultaneously.

"I think," suggested the Hero of Twilight, "we should let Time tell the ghost stories from now on. He has the best ones!"

The Hero of Time beamed, snickering with pride. "Thanks, Twilight!"

Sky slumped in his seat. "Okay, _fine_," he said, resigning himself to the fact that he probably wouldn't ever be able to scare his fellow Heroes.

"Right," said Time with a wicked sneer, "who wants to hear the one about - " he paused for dramatic effect, " - _the Bottom of the Well_?"

The younger Heroes whimpered as he told the tale, while the older ones simply listened silently in terror. Indeed, no one else had the experience nor the flair the Hero of Time had to tell a good scary story… except possibly the Hero of Winds when he spoke of Tingle.


	4. Twilight Is A Dirty Hippie

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Twilight Is A Dirty Hippie**_

Twilight laid down on the grass of the great big field of the afterlife, a field that was always lush and green and never had bad weather. All was quiet and peaceful, save for the bubbly giggles of the Hero and the mewing of the cat he was playing with. He was also wearing nothing but his signature hat and a bright red blush on his cheeks.

He held the orange tabby above him and grinned. "Aww," he said between bouts of laughter, "who's a good kitty? You're a good kitty. I think I'll call you Midna. You remind me of Midna. Eheheh."

"Meow!" cried the cat happily in response.

What Twilight didn't notice, however, was the familiar face frowning at him from above. It was the Hero of Time, Twilight's predecessor and teacher in life - although his form looked far less skeletal here in the afterlife.

"Twilight," he muttered, "what the _hell_ are you doing?"

Twilight lowered his furry friend and grinned. "Hi," he said, "I'm just playing with my friend Midna. Say hi, Midna!"

"You're _drunk_. Where are your clothes?"

The inebriated Hero snorted. "Clothes are for chumps. Everyone knows they keep you from being _one with nature_."

Time raised his eyebrows. "Being one with… wait, _what_?"

"_Nature_, Time! _Nature_!" Twilight stood, the cat in one hand the the other on his hip. "Haven't you ever felt the spring breeze or the cool grass on your skin? I bet you haven't!"

Time's eye twitched. "Just - just put your clothes back on before you do something stupid, Twilight!"

"No way!" Twilight shook his head. "This is the _afterlife_, Time! It's not like I ever got to do this when I was alive!" He turned to the cat. "Come on, Midna! Let's go experience nature together!"

"Mew!"

With that, Twilight turned and ran off, giggling all the way and leaving Time to just stare, bewildered and a little annoyed. He sighed and put a hand to his forehead.

"Taught him everything he knows, huh…"


	5. I Dreamt I Was a Moron

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**I Dreamt I Was a Moron**_

The newest Hero to arrive in the afterlife woke up with a gasp. Yes, technically, they didn't _need_ sleep in this place, but he and the Hero of the light and dark worlds had decided to go on a camping trip - and what's a camping trip without falling asleep in a warm, cozy sleeping bag.

But that's beside the point. The new Hero had just woken up from the oddest dream, and he simply couldn't shake it. He sat up, trying to make sense of it, and accidentally woke his comrade with his stirring.

"Ugh," he groaned as he turned, gazing at the other sleepily. "...Brown? What's wrong?"

Brown, who had been named so due to being the only brunette amongst a gaggle of blonde Heroes, sighed. "Didn't mean to wake you up, Light."

Light, whose nickname came from his bringing light to the Dark World and who was also not to be confused with Twilight, yawned. "No, no, it's okay. ...Did something happen? You look out of sorts."

"It's just - I had the weirdest dream," said Brown, looking up at the starry sky above. "I was living at Hyrule Castle, like I did when I was alive, but everything was all different. Like, I was there, but I was kind of a whiny jerk."

Light raised an eyebrow. "Whiny? How?"

"I was _complaining_ about having to protect the Triforce," he added. He paused, coughing uncomfortably before continuing. "...And I kept trying to get the Princess to kiss me, and whined when she wouldn't."

"I thought you said she _did_ kiss you, though - "

"Th-that was just a thank you kiss! And it wasn't the same Princess Zelda either!" Brown crossed his arms, his face flushed. "Anyway, the me in my dream was kind of a loser. If I'd been half that whiny, I'm sure she would have kicked me out ages ago."

Sitting up, Light scratched his head. "Well, it could be worse," he said, "you could have dreamed that you said 'I can't wait to bomb some dodongos'."

Brown bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. "Seriously, Light?"

"Seriously."

The two finally allowed themselves to erupt into amused snickers, glad that neither of them were actually that stupid.


	6. Leave My Curly Straw Out Of This!

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Leave My Curly Straw Out Of This!**_

It was lunchtime, and if there was any time the Heroes loved, it was whenever they could stuff their faces with anything they could ever want. Today, the Hero from the sky, the Hero of Time, and the Hero of Winds were all eating together under the cool shade of an apple tree. What they were eating, however, wasn't important – it's what was in their bottles to drink that's relevant to this tale.

Sky had plain water in his bottle today, although on other days he would have iced tea or even pumpkin smoothies. Wind was sipping cool, crisp coconut juice from his bottle, its sweet taste and chunky bits of flesh reminding him of simpler days on Outset Island. Time, meanwhile, was having his staple favorite: Lon Lon Milk, fresh from the cow, complete with...

"A curly straw?" snorted Wind, a smirk creeping across his face. "Uh, aren't you a little old for something like that?"

The Hero of Time frowned. "Mind your own business," he said, sipping his milk from said curly straw.

Sky bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. "He has a point... actually, I would think Wind here would be more likely to want a curly straw than you, Time."

Wind gave Sky an unamused look. "I died in my fifties, you know."

"But you're a kid here, and Time is, well..."

The insulted Hero suddenly shot the other two a glare that would have scared even death away. When all eyes were on him, he spoke, quietly yet with a barely-contained rage.

"Let me tell you something," he said, "I had seven years of my childhood taken away. That's seven years of innocence I never got back the rest of my life. From the day I took the Master Sword until the day I died, alone, sick, and delirious, I never got to truly experience being a kid like I could before." He held out his bottle. "So I would _think_, now that I'm here, that I was at least a little entitled to enjoy childish things, and for that reason, _I will drink my milk with a curly straw if I damn well please_. Got that?"

The other two Heroes stared slack-jawed at him, then returned to their meals, a guilty silence looming over them. Time simply closed his eyes and enjoyed his milk to the very last drop.


	7. Oh To Be Forever Young

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Oh To Be Forever Young**_

"So what's everyone favorite childhood memory, huh?"

The others all looked at Brown, who had offered up the question seemingly out of nowhere.

"Huh?" asked the Hero who had restored the Spirit Tracks (the others called him "Engie" - he was an engineer, after all), "Where'd _that_ come from all of the sudden?"

Brown shrugged. "I just thought, since we're spending eternity together and all, that we should get to know each other more. Besides, I'm curious."

Twilight stretched his arms. "Sure, sounds like fun. How about you start, then, Brown, and we'll make our way around?"

"Right." The newest Hero crossed his legs and looked up. "I'd probably have to say that mine would be exploring Hyrule for the first time. I lived in an orphanage, but I'd always wanted to be an explorer, so I snuck out and kind of started living off of the land." He smiled. "It was really exciting until Ganon's monsters got in the way."

Time frowned. "Ganon's kind of a killjoy like that."

"I'll say."

Light raised his hand. "Is it my turn? …I remember when my uncle first took me to Kakariko Village. I thought it was the neatest place _ever_, and I spent all day chasing cuccos around and trying to climb the bird statue in the center of town." He scratched his head bashfully. "Actually… I think I've always been a bit mean to those cuccos."

One of the Heroes of the Four Sword spoke up - the blue one, who had a bit of a temper problem. "Cuccos are _nasty_! They peck you and they smell! They probably deserved it."

"They only pecked you because you started _kicking_ them, Blue!" cried the red one.

"They still deserved it!"

It was the Hero of Time's turn now, so he shut his eyes and smiled. "Making wooden masks with Saria in the forest," he said. "She always made the best masks. …I think my favorite out of the ones I made was the one of Mido. I made it ugly on purpose."

The Hero of Holodrum and Labrynna, known as "Duo" for his impressive feat of saving two lands at the same time, chuckled bashfully. "W-Wow, I never knew you guys could be so, uh, vindictive…!"

"Hey, the cuccos probably didn't deserve it," said Time, ignoring Blue's utterance of "Yes they did," "but Mido definitely did. I guess everything was fine in the end, though, since he was pretty sorry when I came back to the woods."

Duo sighed a little, then began his story. "There was this baker near the castle whose cat I pulled out of a well," he said, "and from then on he'd give me free food whenever I stopped by. He was really nice, and he made my favorite rolls ever."

Sky couldn't help but grin at that story. "A lifetime of free rolls, huh? …I think I would have preferred that to gratitude crystals."

Red raised his hand excitedly. "Ooh! Ooh! It's our turn, right?" He turned to the green Link of the quartet. "Green, tell them about when we and Princess Zelda — "

"_No_, Red!" cried Green, waving his hands in front of them, "I told you not to talk about that!"

The Hero who had forged the sword used by those four - he had been dubbed "Mini", much to his dismay - smirked devilishly. "Heheh, what _about_ you and Princess Zelda, huh? Huh?"

"It's - it's _nothing_, I swear! I — "

The rest of the Heroes looked at him expectantly, a few of them snickering despite themselves. At this, the violet Link, who usually kept to himself, rolled his eyes and spilled the story.

"We got play married when we were five," he said matter-of-factly.

"_Dammit, Vio_!"

Brown did his very best not to burst into laughter. "That's - that's actually pretty cute…!"

The Hero of Winds finally stopped chuckling long enough to tell his story. "My dad was a boat maker, and when I was really little, he took me sailing around Outset. So after he died, when I started sailing again, I'd think of him sometimes."

Twilight looked at the younger Hero fondly. "Really? That's how I feel about fishing, I guess. My father taught me how to fish, although I just barely remember it."

"We need to go out on the lake sometime, then!" beamed Wind. "Time can come too!"

"I'd like that."

Mini cleared his throat. "Guys! You skipped over me!"

"Oh," said Twilight, rubbing his head, "Sorry, Mini."

He continued. "Well, I know a lot of awful things happened that day, but before Vaati showed up, I think the Picori Festival was the most fun I ever had. …I kept the shield Zelda gave me for a long time."

Green and Blue glared at their predecessor, the hypocrisy of that sentimental lug making fun of their own fond memories of Zelda not lost on them.

Now it was Engie's turn. "Driving a train for the first time!" His eyes lit up, as they always did when he talked about his beloved trains. "Alfonzo let me steer it all the way to Whittleton! He had his hand on the brake, though, in case I messed up."

Wind's eyes widened. "Hold on, how old were you when this happened?"

"I was seven. Why?"

"_They let you drive a train when you were seven_!?"

"Just because _you're_ scared of trains doesn't mean they're not safe, Wind!"

"I was there when they started using them! They go way too fast, and — "

Sky walked behind the two arguing younglings and put a hand on each of their heads, silencing them. "You two need to settle down, all right?" He looked at the others. "…Anyway, I'm gonna have to say my favorite memory is meeting my loftwing and flying around for the first time. I guess I worried everyone when I just took off, but - I couldn't help it. We just had this connection, and I just knew he wanted me to ride him."

Light sighed in envy. "I kind of wish we had those loftwings of yours," he said. "I mean, I've flown with a bird before, but from what I've heard, it's just not the same."

"I guess after everybody moved back to the surface," said Sky, "they just… didn't need them anymore. I wonder what happened to the loftwings after that?"

Twilight coughed a little. He had an inkling of an idea, but he thought it might be better not to say anything at all.

Brown looked around. "Right, that's everybody. …Man, this is kind of making me all nostalgic." He laid down on the ground. "I wish we could go back to like it was when we were kids. I mean, I don't regret being a Hero - and I don't think you guys do, either - but it'd be fun, you know?"

The others nodded, sighed, and made small affirmative noises. Then, the Hero of Time lifted his head. "Who says we can't?" He looked out to the horizon. "We all know this place was made for us as place we could rest peacefully in. Now that we're all here, where we don't have to worry about anyone suffering anymore… we can do whatever we want, even act like kids again." He laughed a little. "And we'll just explain that to the next Hero when he gets here, so he won't be _too _freaked out."

The others seemed to like this idea, nodding in agreement. Then, with the excitement of a small child, Red stood.

"If we're gonna act like kids again," he said, "then I say we start with tag!" He bopped Blue on the head gently. "And Blue's it! Everyone, _run_…!"

"What!?" Blue looked around in surprise as all the other Links stood up and fled, laughing all the way. "You little — how come _I _have to be it, huh!?"


	8. This Is Why We're Weird

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**This Is Why We're Weird**_

Mini laid his head on the top of the large wooden fence dividing a horse pasture from the rest of the giant grassy field of the afterlife, his feet resting on the rung below. He yawned, rolling his head to look at one of the two elder Links beside him.

"I'm bored," he whined to Twilight, who simply raised an eyebrow as he chewed on a bit of hay in true cowboy fashion.

"How could you be _bored_?" he asked, "I could watch the horses run around all day."

Sky waved his hand dismissively. "That's because you're always spending time with horses. You _talk_ to horses! You're like some kind of weird horse whisperer or something."

"Your best friend is a _bird_," the former ranch hand snapped back, "you have no room to talk!"

"You don't have a psychic connection with your horse!"

Mini groaned and pulled his hat down over his head. "Guys, cut it out! You're _both_ weird!" He paused for moment, opening his eyes as he suddenly thought of something. "…Actually, I don't think I can talk, either. I used to talk to my _hat_, after all."

Twilight put a finger on his chin. "Yeah… and, hey, I talked to my shadow. And Sky — "

"Yeah," said the Hero from the sky sheepishly, "I talked to my sword. I even asked it to do _analyses_ for me! …Now that I think about, it must have looked really odd to other people."

The smaller one snickered a bit. "So it's settled then - we're all weirdos who talk to strange things!"

"I'm not surprised - I think you have to be at least a little weird to do what we do."

"I couldn't agree more, Plays With Horses."

Twilight flicked his piece of hay at Sky's face. "Says you, Bird Brain."


	9. Everyday I'm Shufflin'

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Everyday I'm Shufflin'**_

When Time had heard that Duo had been celebrated in his lifetime as an accomplished dancer (at least by Subrosian standards), he took it as a personal challenge and proposed a dance-off. The other Links, none of whom possessed the skill or desire to compete with them, would serve as judges and determine which of the two was the true _Hero of Dance_.

Because of seniority, Time was selected to go first. He didn't disappoint, either - comprised of a distinctly Goron-style set of shuffles, jumps, and twists, his routine truly did, as they say, rock the house. He faced his judges and wiped his brow, convinced that he had done his sworn brother proud.

"So? How was it?"

The judges held up their cards - and average score of 7.5 out of 10. Not too shabby!

Now it was Duo's turn. Rolling up his sleeves, he quickly got down to business. True to their down-to-earth culture, Subrosians never left the ground when they danced, contrasting sharply with the Goron style Time had displayed. Instead, he shuffled around the floor in broad sweeps, moving his arms and occasionally stopping to perform a twirl, or two, or even three. When he finished, he turned the judges with a confident, boyish grin to receive his score.

_8.5 out of 10_! "Yes!" exclaimed the winner as he pumped his fist into the air. He then turned to Time and extended his hand like the good sport he was. "Good show, Time. I thought you did really well."

Being a good sport was generally a shared trait among Links, so Time took his hand with a sheepish grin. "Well, I didn't get to practice when I was alive like you did, so it's only fair."

"We could practice together!"

The losing Hero nodded. "Yeah, I think I'd like that."

"_Duo_!" cried Mini's voice from across the floor, "You and Time do that shuffley thingie again, that was cool!"

Duo grinned. "Starting now, I guess!"

And together they shuffled the night away, every day.


	10. Let's Conductive Ourselves Like Abults

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Let's Conductive Ourselves Like Abults**_

None of the Heroes considered themselves bookworms, but they had all eternity to enjoy whatever they wanted, so most of them would grab a good book every once in a while, perusing through subjects that interested them or just reading stories that struck their fancies. At the library, which was magically stocked with whatever reading material they could possibly think of, there was a nice little sitting area with a cozy fireplace where they could relax and read in peace.

This is where the Hero of Time was today. Being raised in a forest that had no books and hardly any other reading material, he was actually one of the least likely to end up at the library. Yet there was one book he'd seen that had caught his attention - "Timelines and You: A Theory of Alternate Histories" - and he had been trying to digest the information within it. Yet he wasn't alone - four younger, multi-colored Heroes were hiding behind the doorframe, eagerly waiting for Time to open what he thought was his book.

"Guys," whispered Red, "isn't this, um, kind of mean?"

Green hushed him. "Shh! It's not mean, it's just a joke. Come on, it'll be funny."

Blue and Vio simply watched, grinning to themselves, as Time opened his book and began to read aloud, slowly and a little laboriously, running across the text with his fingertip.

"Strong intense feelings raced threw my body… raced threw - _threw_? - my bones. My body shook as sweat begun to form… And then I felt myself getting hotter, felt myself wanting him more and more…?"

The quartet barely contained their giggles - well, three of them did, since Red was holding his hands over his ears and blushing profusely. Meanwhile, Time was getting a little flustered and confused himself. He continued.

"I _ar-ced_ my back and cried out in loud animal-like cries…" His eyes widened as he read the next sentence in a voice that suggested pure terror. "'_Oh my Goddesses, Link, more baby, Link_!?'" He shut the book and threw it onto the ground. Then, after looking at it for a few more moments, he reached down, picked it up again, and threw it into the fireplace, sighing in relief as he watched it burn.

The Four Sword Heroes couldn't hold it in any longer - they burst into laughter at Time's reaction, causing him to storm angrily over to them.

"_You_!" he snapped, "What the hell did you do to my book!?"

Vio produced a pair of scissors, some tape, and a handful of pages from what was undoubtedly from the same, er, "story". "Just be thankful we didn't give you the part where you drank each other's - _ack_!"

Time had grabbed his ears and began to tug on them. "You little -" However, he soon noticed that the others had started to run away, laughing devilishly all the way. He gave chase. "_Get back here_!"


	11. Not The Bees! They're In My Eyes!

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Not The Bees! They're In My Eyes!**_

Not all of the Heroes were fond of bugs, but Sky, Twilight, and Light had all managed to develop a certain odd affection for them in life. So, naturally, there were places for them to go in death to watch and catch all kinds of bugs, from the familiar and mundane to the strange and weird. Best of all, it was something they could all do together as friends, and anything that they could do together was fun in their books.

Twilight had his eyes set on one particular bug; a phasmid crawling around on the branch of a tree. Knowing that the best way to catch these was by simply letting them come to you, he held his hand out in front of the bug, allowing it to walk into it, its legs tickling his fingers. Slowly, he turned to his comrades and pointed to it.

"Hey guys," he said, "look what I got!"

Light looked at the find carefully. "Oh, that's a walking stick, right?"

"Yup. Sky, look!"

Sky turned his attention away from the ladybugs he was holding in his cupped hands and towards Twilight. He chuckled. "Wow... that's kind of creepy looking, Twilight."

"I don't think it's creepy," chimed in Light, "I think it's cool!"

"It's like a twig, though," he replied, "but with legs. Twigs don't usually _have_ legs."

Twilight pouted a little. "That's exactly what makes it cool, though!"

The boys' ears suddenly picked up on a faint buzzing noise, a noise the three of them knew far too well. It was a bee; a bee that, they discovered as they tracked it with their eyes, was headed back to its nest, which hung low in a tree about two yards away. As if by instinct, they immediately dropped their bugs and crouched behind a nearby boulder. They knew what these monstrous little pests could do, and they knew that they would need a battle plan to deal with them effectively.

"Oh _great_," muttered Sky, "_now_ what?"

Light swallowed a little, clutching his bug net tightly. "If we get too close, we'll be dead for sure!"

"Light, we're already dead."

"Oh... Yeah, uh, I knew that..."

Twilight reached into his pouch and fished out a slingshot. "Don't worry guys," he said with confidence, "I've got it all taken care of."

"Twilight, are you nuts!?" spat Sky, "That'll just make them angrier!"

"Not if they don't know it was us...!"

Before the other two could stop him, however, the brave cowboy had aimed a deku seed at the bee's hive and fired it, expecting them to panic and disperse at the disturbance. Instead, the bees seemed to know _exactly_ who was responsible for destroying their home, and not a second later did they commence their attack on the three boys.

Screaming, they got up and tried to outrun their tiny assailants, but they were no match for their swift wings and painful stingers. Of course, bee stings wouldn't have much of a lasting effect on them - they were all dead, after all - but they still hurt like hell. After a few choice swears and noises they didn't even know they could make, they spotted a small pond.

"There!" cried Light, pointed straight ahead, "Get in the water!"

They jumped (more like clumsily stumbled, actually) into the water, dunking their heads to wait out the swarm. Eventually, the bees turned tail and left, and the Heroes surfaced, gasping for air.

Sky shot a glare at his rowdier counterpart. "'Got it all taken care of,' you said..."

Twilight glared back. "I didn't think they'd be able to _see through rocks_, Sky! They weren't supposed to know it was us!"

Light sighed. "I'm telling you guys," he said, removing his soaking wet hat, "bees are the _worst_."

The other two nodded in agreement before climbing out of the water. Though their world had been filled with strange and wonderful creatures, bees were the one creation of Farore that they could have done without.


	12. I Kissed My Past Self

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**I Kissed My Past Self (And I'm Not Sure If I Liked It)**_

Card games were a popular pastime among the Heroes, but after a few hundred years of playing the same games over and over, they eventually began to add some higher stakes to make it a bit more exciting. Sometimes rupees were involved, although they were useless as currency in an afterlife where they could have anything they wanted. Sometimes the losers had to take shots or chug ale (those were probably the more exciting game nights). They had even played rounds of strip poker before quickly realizing that seeing one's own reincarnations naked was simply awkward and not very entertaining. So, eventually, they began to get, shall we say, "creative" with their wagers.

Engie sported a cheeky grin as he placed his last two cards down on the table. "There go my fives!" He laced his fingers behind his head. "That means Wind and I are the winners."

Indeed, the Hero of Winds had been the first to get rid of all of his cards in this high-stakes game of Go Fish, and Engie had been the second. Twilight and Sky, however, still had a good number of cards in their hands, which put them in third and fourth place respectively. This realization quickly flustered the two older Links.

"No way," muttered Sky with an almost scared look on his face, "that can't be right...!"

Wind snickered. "Sorry, guys, but it looks like you two lost the bet. And that means -"

"No!" cried Twilight, slamming his cards on the table, "We're not - you can't _make_ us -"

Shaking his head and "tsk"ing, Engie interrupted him. "You're really gonna go back on your word? Heh, some Hero you are, Twilight."

"But..." Twilight turned to Sky, their eyes filled with the same dread. "Sky, come on... you can't just let them -"

"Twilight," he replied, "we did agree to it when the game started. You know we can't just back out. We're Links. Keeping promises is what we _do_."

The despondent cowboy sighed. Of course, they all just _had _to inherit that honest Hero nature and the inability to break a promise without feeling horribly guilty about it. "..._Fine_."

Wind nodded. "That's better. Now..."

The two younger Heroes grinned devilishly in unison. "_Kiss_!"

Sky and Twilight looked at other for the longest time, unsure of where to start. It wasn't that they didn't know how to kiss - they had kissed others plenty in life - it was that they didn't know how to kiss someone who was effectively a piece of themselves in another body.

"Come on," Engie called out to them, "do it! And you have to _really_ kiss, tongue and all! Remember?"

Twilight growled a little at the smaller Link. Then, in a desperate bid to get it over with as quickly as possible, he grabbed the back of Sky's head and pressed their mouths together.

Needless to say, it was… an experience. While their thoughts were unanimously agreeing that this was one of the single most awkward things they'd ever done, living or dead, they couldn't help but notice a strange familiarity in the feel of each other's lips and tongues. Not to mention they were both decent kissers.

They continued for a good, long while, pondering the similarities and trying desperately not to acknowledge whatever pleasure they derived from it, and finally, they broke apart, gasping for air as they looked each other in the deep blue eyes they shared.

"...That was so weird," muttered Sky under his breath, his face hotter than a volcano's crater.

"Yeah," Twilight agreed.

The other two Heroes' eyes had widened, and Engie leaned over to his predecessor. "Whoa," he said, "I didn't think they'd get so into it."

"Me either..."

Twilight turned and pointed at them. "That does _not_ leave this room," then he turned to Sky. "That goes for you, too!"

"I'm not saying _anything_! Don't look at me!"

Wind scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, that's fair enough, I guess."

The two flustered men sighed in relief. At least they were fairly certain that their smaller counterparts would keep that promise.


	13. On The Contrary, Brunettes Have More Fun

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**On The Contrary, Brunettes Have More Fun**_

"Hey, Light."

Light looked up from the sword he had been sharpening. "Hmm? What's up, Brown?"

The newer Hero twirled a bit of his sideburn around his finger. "Ever think it's weird that I'm the only Link who's _not_ blond?"

"I wouldn't say _weird_," replied Light, scratching his nose in thought. "Sure, I was surprised when you got here, but that's just 'cause I wasn't expecting it."

"That's the thing, though." Brown began to gesture with his hands. "See, we've been at this for thousands of years or longer. All that time, we've pretty much had the same hair color. Then I come around and suddenly, poof, brown. I mean, it was different enough that you guys gave me that nickname, so I've always wondered… why the sudden change?"

Light thought about this for a moment, then shrugged. "Maybe the Gods got sick of blond Heroes? I have no idea." He returned his blade to the grindstone in front of him and continued. "But you're really not the only one who's different from the rest. Remember – Sky's the only one of us who's right-handed, and Wind's the only one with a sibling. And Time's the one who caused that weird time split, and I don't _think_ the rest of us have done anything like that."

Brown snickered. "Yeah, and you're the only one who never wore anything over his legs!"

"You hush!" Light shot him a look. "It's not my fault leggings make me itch."

"I'd rather be itchy than cold."

"I went through a whole dungeon made of ice; I think I can handle it."

"Suit yourself," said the brunette Hero as he drew his own sword to sharpen alongside his friend. "After all, who am I to judge if you want to show off your shapely legs?"

With one of his "shapely legs", Light delivered a swift kick to Brown's shin.


	14. Let's Try This Ghost Story Thing Again

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Let's Try This Ghost Story Thing Again**_

"...And that was how I brought a ghost back to his house."

Mini rolled his eyes. "Ugh, Light, that wasn't even scary! Ghost stories are supposed to be _scary_!"

"I've I can't think of very many scary ones, though!" Light crossed his arms. "I thought a nice one would be a good change of pace, that's all."

"Whatever!" cried Blue in frustration. "Ugh, you guys are _horrible_ at this! Mini's right - we need something that's actually heart-pounding, not this cutesy crap!"

Red put his hands on Blue's shoulder. "Blue, calm down! They're doing the best they can...!"

"Whoa, guys, easy!" Twilight waved his hands in front of him. "Just because Sky and Light don't have any good stories - " he ignored the glares the two gave him for that comment and continued, " - doesn't mean we can't still have a good time." He stuffed an uncooked marshmallow in his mouth. "Beshides... I'b godda _really_ scurry one. Wanna hurr it?"

"It's not about the Arbiter's Grounds, is it?" Engie yawned, "'Cause we've already heard that one."

Twilight swallowed. "No, I don't think I've told this one yet. It was pretty popular in Castle Town when I was alive."

Hearing this suddenly caused Time to perk up, the ever-so-subtle touch of dread gracing his face.

"Legend has it," began the former cowboy, "that back then, the ghost of a ferocious knight haunted the gates of town. He was a fearsome foe in life, who slaughtered thousands of men and left nothing but death and destruction in his wake!"

The Hero of Time rubbed his forehead, flustered. "Twilight..."

But he continued. "They say he had made a pact with demons, giving him nearly limitless power in exchange for his human form."

"Twilight."

"So when he died, he wandered Hyrule Field as a monstrous stalfos, waiting for anyone who was unfortunate enough to cross his path - and they say that few have lived to tell the tale after seeing him!"

"_Twilight_!"

All eyes turned to Time, whose ears were tipped his red as he scowled. Twilight couldn't help but let out a snort, however, and grinned.

"What? You've got to admit it's a pretty cool story, Time."

"It is _not_!" huffed Time in reply. "It's not true in the _slightest_, and you know that!" He shook his head. "And after everything I've taught you, you turn around and bring _this_ up..."

Twilight quickly ate another marshmallow. "Maybe if you didn't look so scary as a ghost, you wouldn't have had those kind of stories made up about you, _Teacher_."

With the swiftness and grace he had been known for once in life, the elder Hero drew his sword and delivered a strong blow to his pupil's stomach with the hilt. This sent Twilight keeling over in a coughing fit. Time sheathed his blade, a smug smirk creeping upon his face.

"You should know better than to talk to your teacher that way."

The other Heroes giggled and snickered at poor Twilight's expense. Ah, well, he thought as he finally began to catch his breath again, he had probably been asking for it anyway.


	15. Also Into Cats

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Also Into Cats**_

Mini loved crepes, and he loved going to get them with Green even more. Although he did not have his multicolored counterparts with him - here in the afterlife, he could split and merge personas whenever he wanted to - Green was just as much fun when he was his whole self. Maybe even more fun, since Blue and Red weren't there to cause any trouble.

In either case, the two Heroes who had used the Four Sword were busily munching on their delicious crepe. Mini took a big bite of his cream one, when suddenly a white cat crossed his path, looking up at him expectantly.

Green grinned. "Aww, I think it wants your crepe, Mini."

Mini scowled. "No _way_!" He gently nudged the furry creature away with his foot. "I _hate_ cats! Go away, shoo!"

The cat mewed discontentedly, and the other Hero raised an eyebrow. "_Still_? You big baby, a cat can't possibly hurt you when you're this size!"

"You weren't there, Green!" Mini huffed. "That cat almost _killed_ me and Ezlo! It was the scariest thing!"

"I bet it wasn't."

"It _was_!"

Suddenly, an older voice called out from around the corner. "Zelda! ...Zelda, where did you go?"

Green snickered and took a bite of his strawberry crepe. "Oh, it's Twilight. Better hope he didn't hear you!"

Just as they expected, Twilight came out from around the corner, holding a brown kitten over his shoulder with three other cats following close behind. He spotted the white one and smiled.

"There you are, Zelda. Don't run off like that!" He reached down and scratched the cat he named after the princess with his free hand. "I don't think Mini's going to want to share his food, anyway."

"Of course not!" the flustered boy blurted out. "It's _my _crepe! I'm not giving it to _that_ thing!"

At that, the older Hero's face turned into an expression of unadulterated hurt. "Mini... I know you don't like cats very much, but that was just mean." He sat the kitten he was carrying down and picked up Zelda, holding her up to Mini. "You should apologize."

Green nearly choked on his food trying to hold back laughter, and Mini looked at Twilight as if he'd gone positively mad. "W-What!? Are you kidding!?"

"No, I'm not kidding! You don't have to be scared of these guys here, so you should at least be kind to them."

He grimaced, first at Twilight, then at his snickering companion, and then finally at the cat. But... he knew the crazy cat lover was right. He didn't have a reason to hate cats anymore - he didn't have a reason to hate much of anything anymore. He was dead, after all. Maybe they didn't deserve his ire.

So, biting his lip, Mini held out his crepe to the cat. "I'm sorry," he muttered under his breath.

Twilight grinned. "There, wasn't that better?"

"I guess..."

Zelda meowed in delight and licked a bit of cream off of the boy's crepe.


	16. I'm Not Gonna Write Her A Love Song

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**I'm Not Gonna Write Her A Love Song**_

There were boundaries to the Heroes' postmortem paradise, but they lie far across a pristine ocean. And where there was an ocean, there had to be a beach, and it was at that beach where a handful of the Links had decided to go to swim, fish, or just take a snooze while bathing in the warm rays of the sun.

Most of the others had decided to go swimming (save Sky - he was fast asleep on the shore, his hair caked with wet sand), but Light and Wind had decided to stay behind and admire the scenery, feeding pieces of bread to the seagulls and talking. They did share a special connection to the ocean, after all.

Wind watched as one of the seagulls flew away, gulping down its snack and joining a group of its kind that had gathered over the water. "You know," he said, "my sister always loved to play with seagulls. They always used to just gather around her, and I never really knew why."

"Probably because she gave them food," laughed Light, holding out some food to another gull. He winced when it accidentally pecked his palm before grabbing the piece of bread. "Ow!"

The other Hero snickered. "Or maybe they just liked her better than you, Light."

"I'm sure it didn't mean to do that..." Realizing that he had run out of bread, he took the liberty of laying back on the ground, the warm sand feeling quite nice on his bare back. "Wanna know something? ...I always wanted to go back to an island. But I never got the chance - I got too busy when I got back to Hyrule, and I never was comfortable with ships after the wreck, you know?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Once you've been on an island long enough, it's hard getting used to anything else." Wind closed his eyes and smiled. "Getting to watch the ocean every day, the warm air..."

"Listening to the sound of the waves, watching the sunset reflected in the ocean," added Light.

"Catching crabs and shaking coconuts out of the trees..."

"Going on dates with redheads - "

Light immediately clammed up and clenched his lips shut. Wind simply tilted his head and smirked.

"Oooh," he sang tauntingly, "redheads, huh? You're _still_ stuck on her after all this time?"

The flustered Link sat up quickly. "You don't know anything about that!"

"Yes I do!" Wind placed a finger on his chin in mock thought. "Let's see, wasn't there a poem you wrote about her once? I could have _sworn_ it was in the journal that came with you..."

Light gulped. "I... I have no idea what you're talking about...!"

"Oh, now I remember!" The younger Hero wasn't a very good singer, but he began belting out a familiar tune anyway. "_Oh Mariiiin, Oh Mariiiin, why did you leeeeave meeee?_"

The tune of the Ballad of the Wind Fish combined with those lyrics embarrassed Light enough to make him draw up his legs and grit his teeth. His face burned as he grunted. "Shut up..."

"_Don't you knooooow, that my heaaaaart, beats for yoooooou?_"

"I said _shut up_!"

Wind suddenly felt a wad of wet sand slap the side of his face. He faltered, but after seeing how flustered he had gotten his companion, he laughed and jumped to his feet, running away while "la la la"ing the rest of the Ballad.

"You little _twerp_!" Light chased after him, cursing himself along the way for not burning his one and only attempt at writing song lyrics.


	17. That's The Way The Cookie Crumbles

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**That's The Way The Cookie Crumbles**_

Sky and Duo sat on a bench facing a lovely fountain, sharing between them a large sack of cream-filled chocolate cookies and talking about all kinds of things. Although they didn't share quite as much in common as some of the other Heroes did, their interactions were always pleasant, probably because of both of their highly amicable natures.

Together they munched on their delicious snack, laughing as they inevitably got crumbs all over themselves. Then, Sky reached in for another, only to find that there was a single cookie left in the bag.

"Whoops," he said, "didn't think we'd eaten so much already…"

Duo looked in the bag. "Yeah… go ahead, Sky, you can have it if you want."

"No, no, I've had enough," replied Sky with a shake of his head, "you take it, Duo."

"But you're older! Seniority rules, right? You should take it."

"Ha ha, I'm not that old! Go on, enjoy it!"

They kept exchanging instances that the other take the last cookie. Meanwhile, from around the corner, Green and Mini were eying them curiously.

Mini raised an eyebrow. "Are they seriously arguing over who _doesn't_ get to have the last cookie?"

Green snorted, covering his mouth to avoid being heard. "Looks like it."

"How come they don't just split it?"

"Guess they're just too polite to figure that out. What a bunch of goodie-two-shoes."

"But aren't we all goodie-two-shoes?" asked Mini, "I mean, we're Heroes after all."

Green furrowed his brow in thought. "Guess you have a point," he admitted, watching the other two Heroes on the bench continue their absurdly polite argument.


	18. Somehow I'll Make A Man Out Of You

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Somehow I'll Make A Man Out Of You**_

"74... 75... 76..."

Time sat on the grass with one knee crossed over the other, nonchalantly looking at his reflection in his sword's blade. "Keep going, Twilight," he said, "you're halfway there."

Twilight grunted, exhaling as he did another pushup. "Since when," he said between breaths, "did you get to just sit there and watch me do pushups, huh?"

"Since you agreed to train with me."

"That's exactly my point!" He did another pushup. "You're not training _with_ me, you're ordering me around!"

The Hero of Time rolled his eyes. "That's because I'm your _teacher_, Twilight. Of _course_ I'll be ordering you around."

The disgruntled student did a few more pushups, beads of sweat beginning to roll down his brow. "But just because you taught me when I was alive - which I'm _plenty_ grateful for, by the way - doesn't mean you have to always boss me around _here_!"

Time sighed loudly, clearly annoyed with his pupil's mouthing off. Sheathing his sword, he stood and walked over to the boy, stomping on his back with one foot and pinning him to the ground.

"Gck - !"

"I'll stop 'bossing you around'," said the elder Hero with his arms crossed, "when you're able to defeat me in battle. Have you ever _once_ done that yet, Twilight?"

"N... No..." Twilight managed to choke out.

"Exactly. Now," Time shifted his weight just enough to allow the other to continue his exercises, albeit with a bit more resistance this time, "get back to work. 85... 86... 87..."

Twilight managed to stifle a whimper as he began his pushups again, realizing that, if he _still_ couldn't beat his mentor even after all these centuries in the afterlife, he was probably screwed for eternity.


	19. Getting Sand In Unfortunate Places

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Getting Sand In Unfortunate Places**_

He had tried not to allow himself to fall asleep on their group trip to the beach, but alas, the warmth of the sun and the sounds of the waves were too much for Sky, the sleepiest of the Heroes. He had gone swimming for a while before going on shore to rest his arms, and the rest was history.

Of course, even he couldn't sleep forever; he had to wake up at some point. When he finally did, he groaned and struggled to open his eyes, blinded by the light of the sun. He tried to move his hand to cover his face, but quickly realized to his horror that he couldn't move. With a gasp, he lifted his head and looked down at his body. He'd fallen for the oldest trick in the book - he had been completely buried in sand up to his neck, and he wasn't going to be getting out on his own anytime soon.

Sky let gritted his teeth and tried to wiggle the sand off of him. It was no good - it had been packed on too tightly. His only option would be to wait until one of his successors passed by. They were Heroes, _surely_ they would help him out of his bind, right?

He turned his head and saw one of the smaller Links running towards him. It was Wind! He was a nice kid; he would stop and help a friend out for sure!

"Wind!" he cried out, "Hey, Wind! I'm stuck, I need - "

But Wind jumped right over the mound that covered him, much to his dismay. Shortly after, though, he saw Light coming from the same direction. He tried to call out to him as he did to Wind.

"Light! Light, you've got to help me, I'm - "

Light stopped in his tracks, his face abnormally red for some reason. He glared in Sky's general direction. "Wind didn't come through here, did he?"

"Well, yeah, he went that way," Sky motioned with his head in the direction the boy had gone, "but Light, I need your - "

"Thanks!" The other Hero was gone as quickly as he came, leaving his poor predecessor alone to languish in his sandy prison.

Sky sighed and lowered his head, whimpering pathetically. How could they _do_ this to him? He was their senior! He had always thought he commanded at least a handful of respect from the other Links from that fact alone; clearly he was wrong.

"So much for seniority rules," he muttered. "Maybe Duo will dig me out..."


	20. Steamy Hot Springs Action, Part 1

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Steamy Hot Springs Action, Part 1**_

If there was a single place in the entire realm that each of the Heroes loved, it would be, without a doubt, the hot springs. It was a beautiful place situated on a mountain plateau with a view of the green fields below, and its steaming pools of hot mineral water melted away tension and did _wonders_ for the hair and skin. It was like a small heaven within their heaven, where they could relax, socialize, and share drinks, secrets, and stories.

Today, three of the Links decided to do some washing up before they soaked in the magic healing waters. Twilight slumped in his seat, his hair dripping wet from just being washed and his entire body aching horribly from his last training session with Time. Luckily, Sky was there to help with that; he sat behind the sore Link, rubbing and kneading his bare back, focusing on his shoulders and upper arms. At the same time, Brown with situated behind Sky, rubbing a curiously pumpkin-scented shampoo into the latter's hair.

Twilight winced and grunted when he felt his predecessor's thumb hit an especially salient knot in his back. "Ow! ...I can't believe this. Time's a _slave driver_! He made me do 150 push-ups. In a _row_!"

Sky frowned, rolling his hand into a fist and kneading the knot with his knuckles. "Weren't you the one who agreed to train with him, though?"

"That's what _he_ told me, too," Twilight replied, putting his head in his hands. "But sometimes, I think he just enjoys bossing me around because he had nobody else to teach his techniques when he was alive. Don't you think?"

"You know that's not true, Twilight." Sky moved his hands to the other's neck. "He only works you hard because he cares about you. You're like a son to him!"

"I heard," chimed in Brown as he continued to massage Sky's scalp, "that he cried like a baby when you got married, Twilight." He grinned. "I kind of wish I could have seen it."

Sky laughed. "It's true! He sobbed for _hours_." He returned his hands to his shoulders and applied a little more pressure. "Don't tell him we told you that, though."

Twilight felt a blush creep across his cheeks. "Y-Yeah... yeah, I suppose you're right."

When he fell silent after that, Brown took the opportunity to change the subject in an attempt to maintain the jolly mood. "Hey, Sky," he said, "did anybody ever tell you how fluffy your hair is?"

"You're one to talk!"

"Yeah, Brown." Twilight turned his head. "You've got the poofiest bangs out of all of us!"

"No way!" He shook his head. "That's gotta be Light for sure. Or Duo."

Sky chuckled again. "I think you need to look in a mirror, Brown."

The newest Hero lowered his hands from Sky's hair and grabbed the bucket of spring water beside him. "Yeah, well, how about you look at _this_!"

When he poured it over Sky's head, the elder Hero screamed in surprise, quickly raising his hand to cover his eyes. After spitting out soapy water, he rose from his seat with one hand on the towel around his waist and the other curled into a fist. His lips, however, were curled into a half smile.

"Oh, now you're asking for it!" He grabbed the bucket and scooped up some more water, causing Brown to begin running away and Sky to give chase.

Meanwhile, Twilight took the opportunity to remove his own towel and step into the water, sighing contentedly as he let it soak his entire body. Yes, not even the laughter and shouts of his comrades could ruin this wonderful, relaxing bath.


	21. I'm Something Of A Train Expert

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**I'm Something Of A Train Expert**_

Wind _hated_ trains. He hated them in life, and he probably hated them even more in death thanks to Engie and his constant badgering to try and get him to change his mind. Yet, for some reason he couldn't fathom, he had agreed to let the eager engineer take him on a ride along the tracks that had appeared along the sides of the mountains the day the latter arrived. Perhaps he felt that he owed the newer Hero something for taking care of the land he had founded? Either way, the Hero of Winds would very quickly regret his decision once the train started.

He sat with his feet on the seat, his hands gripping the armrests as though his afterlife depended on it. He would occasionally look out of the window and panic as he realized just how fast they were going. Engie, meanwhile, was driving the locomotive with skill and ease, whistling pleasantly as he maneuvered it around a sharp corner.

He turned back to his predecessor grinning as his hand moved up to give his engineer's cap a small tip. "What did I tell you, Wind?" he called back, "Isn't it great?"

"_Great_?" the panicking Hero screamed, "This thing is going way too fast! We're going to crash!"

"We are _not_ going to crash!" Engie rolled his eyes. "Geez, for a legendary hero, you sure are a wimp!" He reached up and sounded the whistle, causing Wind to screech in surprise.

"I-I'm not a wimp! You're just careless!" Wind huffed. "Spirits, I _hate_ trains! I hated riding them before and I hate riding them now! They should never have invented the stupid things in the first place!"

At that, Engie pulled the train into a sudden, screeching stop, causing Wind to roll forward face first onto the ground with a _thud_. Then, when it was quiet, he turned and approached the other, a fierce indignation burning in his eyes.

"Never should have invented them? Wind, do you realize what you're saying!?" He put his hands on his hips. "New Hyrule _needs_ trains! They're the only way we could take people and goods around quickly and efficiently! They're the life blood of the economy! You and Queen Tetra loved your country more than anything, right!? So you had better appreciate everything these 'stupid trains' have done for it!"

Wind looked up, his face turning red as he realized that the other Link had a point. He swallowed, standing up and dusting himself off. "...You're right, Engie. I should know better than to wish that kind of thing."

"Good." Engie walked back to the gearbox and started the engine up again, this time at a far slower pace for his predecessor's comfort. He did, after all, understand that for one who was so used to boats and ships trains could be quite intimidating at first. "...Sorry for stopping so hard, by the way."

"You're good," replied Wind, pulling his hat over his ears nervously, "you were just trying to make a point."

The rest of the trip carried on in relative silence.


	22. Badass Is In The EYE Of The Beholder

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Badass Is In The EYE Of The Beholder**_

"Hey, Time? How'd you lose your eye?"

Time froze, his popsicle only halfway to his mouth. How long had it been since that subject was breached? A few centuries, perhaps? "…Who told you about that, Red?"

Red sulked, fearing that he had gotten the elder Hero angry. "Um… we heard Twilight talking about how you only had one eye when he first saw you."

Of course, he thought, Twilight would go around telling the others those kind of things. He always did like embarrassing him. Time turned to his left, where Green and Vio were sitting. "Is that true, you guys?"

They nodded, munching on their own popsicles. "We're just curious," said Green between licks.

"Well," sighed the older Link, "you heard right. Before I died, I lost my right eye to a peahat."

"A peahat?" asked Blue incredulously, "You mean those little pineapple-looking things? They couldn't hurt a fly!"

"Back in my day they could." Time stretched his free arm upwards to prove his point. "See, when I was alive, peahats were the scourge of Hyrule Field. They could grow to be the size of two men, or even bigger! And their propellers were sharp - they've been known to chop armored soldiers into tiny pieces!"

"That's scary!" whimpered Red.

Vio tilted his head. "So what happened to you, then?"

"I was a knight back then, and I was leading a squad to take care of a peahat colony that was causing trouble." He shook his head. "One of the men was careless, and he lost his arm to one. I was trying to drag him to safety while the others covered me… but those peahats, they didn't want him to get away."

"So it flew into your face?" asked Green with a look of dread.

Time nodded. "I'm lucky it didn't decapitate me."

Growing restless, Blue grimaced. "And you just let it get away after doing that to you!?"

"Of course I didn't!" Time finished up his popsicle and fiddled with the stick. "As soon as I was sure the others were safe, I hunted that bastard all over the field." He closed one eye, holding the popsicle stick like it was an arrow knocked in an invisible bow. "Even though I only had one eye, it didn't stand a chance - I wasn't going to let it have the satisfaction of blinding the Hero of Time for long!" He let go of the stick, letting it fall to the ground rather unceremoniously. "…And then I took its body back and let my squad roast it for dinner."

Red's eyes began to sparkle. "That's _amazing_, Time! No wonder Twilight looks up to you so much - you're so _cool_!"

Vio raised an eyebrow. "You _ate_ it? I think you made that part up."

"I did not!" Time pouted. "When have I ever lied to you guys?"

Green began to snicker. "Well, I guess that peahat really earned your - " he paused for effect, "_eye_-re if you decided to eat it like that…!"

With a groan, Vio took Green's popsicle and shoved it in his mouth. "Don't speak," he spat out curtly. The others laughed.


	23. Steamy Hot Springs Action, Part 2

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Steamy Hot Springs Action, Part 2**_

Duo smiled at the small toy duck he had set afloat in the waters of the hot springs. Sure, he had been teased for bringing up by the two Heroes soaking beside him, Wind and Time, but he didn't pay it much mind. It brought him back to simpler days, and it was very relaxing to watch.

Time let out a sigh and tilted his head back, breathing in the soothing steam emanating from the hot water. Then he turned his head to the younger Link. "You really are a strange one, Duo," he said with a hint of jest and affection.

Duo laughed, scratching his nose. "Yeah, well, I guess I can't help it."

"It's fine," said Wind, sinking into the bath until only his head was above the water, "we've all been here long enough to realize that we're all a little strange in our own, special way. Right?"

"Right," Time nodded. Seeing that Duo's duck was now floating right in front of him, he picked it up, held it in front of his face, and gave it a squeeze. He couldn't help but chuckle at the satisfying squeak it made.

"Hey, Time, be careful with that!"

Duo blinked at Wind's sudden warning. "Why? He's fine..."

"If he holds it too close to his face," said the smallest Hero with a smirk, "he'll pop it with his nose!"

Time immediately shot a glare at the boy, squashing the duck in his fist as it made another choked squeak. "_What_ did you say about my nose?"

"Oh, nothing... just that it's pointy enough to be considered a weapon, I guess." Wind shrugged.

Gritting his teeth, the elder Link tossed the toy against Wind's head, causing him to cry out and try to bat it away with his hands. "What did I tell you about respecting your elders?" he snapped. "And don't you dare talk about my nose when your head's the size of a watermelon!"

"Guys! Guys, stop it!" Duo cried, reaching over to save his poor duckie from any further abuse. "We're all brothers here, right? We shouldn't make fun of each other like this!"

Wind lowered his hands. "He's right," he said. "...It's not Time's fault his nose could cut glass!"

Time pushed the smaller Hero into the water by his shoulders and held him there. This startled Duo, who dropped his toy and desperately tried to calm his older comrade down. He hated having to watch his brothers fight - why couldn't they all just along and have a nice, relaxing bath together?


	24. With Apologies To Akira Himekawa

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**With Apologies To Akira Himekawa**_

Many of the Heroes had a natural toughness to their features. Time had a maturity in his eyes and a confidence in his smile that far surpassed his teenaged appearance. Twilight had an intimidating, piercing gaze that could strike terror into the hearts of evil men. Even Green, though physically younger, could allow Blue's ferocity to show itself in his face when he wanted to. They had been qualities that did not go unnoticed in life, commanding respect and attracting attention from women and men alike during their lives.

Sky, however, did not quite possess that same quality. Oh, sure, he had been popular with girls - quite popular, in fact - but it was mostly because of his boyish appearance and polite mannerisms. Though he was still a brave Hero in his own right, and the first in a long line of successors to boot, he was far more "cute" than "tough", and he felt that sometimes it made the others respect him less.

So, one day, he broke down and tried out a change of wardrobe, just to see if maybe he could roughen up his image, so to speak. Although he kept the traditional green tunic and hat, he made a few major additions. First of all, he put on some armor; a set of golden shoulder plates engraved with an ancient Hylian crest. He fastened a long, red mantle to them, making sure that it had more than enough room to flap around dramatically in the wind. He also donned some sturdier gauntlets, the plating on them red like his cape. His final touch was a set of long underwear resembling the kind that Time wore - hey, might as well take tips from the others, right? Now, finally, he was ready to show the others and, hopefully, inspire a bit more respect from them.

"Sky..." Engie said, tilting his head, "what the heck are you _wearing_?"

Or, not. Sky frowned sadly. "What? ...You don't think it's cool?"

"No, no! It's cool, but - "

Green chimed in. "What Engie means to say is that it doesn't really suit you very well."

"Yeah," agreed Light, rubbing his chin with his thumb and forefinger, "it looks more like something Twilight would wear, actually."

Twilight's face twisted in an attempt to suppress his amusement. "I, uh... I think I'll pass," he said. "Shoulder plates aren't really my thing."

Sky sulked. "Damn! ...I just wanted to look tougher!" He looked at the group pathetically. "So it's not working at all?"

"Not with that face it won't!" Green stared sternly at the sullen Hero. "The reason it's not working is because of that _baby face_ of yours!"

"B-Baby face!?"

Twilight turned and snorted into his hand. Meanwhile, Engie gave Sky a sad smile.

"Sorry Sky, but I agree with Green. You've just got a cute face - not that it's a bad thing!"

"Yeah, I mean, you said it yourself, Sky," Light said, "that cute face of yours broke quite a few hearts back in your day. So it's not terrible or anything!"

"But being 'cute' doesn't command any respect..."

"We respect you plenty! You're the first, right? That's reason enough for us to respect you!" Looking to his right and crossing his arms, Light paused in thought. "...Although, if you really wanted to try and look tougher, I'd try looking a bit angrier."

Green snickered. "You could try making the face Twilight does when you wake him up too early. Then you'd be _really_ scary!"

Twilight tried to object, but honestly, he found the whole situation too funny to do much, so he let it slide.

"Angrier, huh..." Sky pondered. He shut his eyes, trying to think of a time when he got really angry. Though there weren't many of those times, he managed to remember a few. Suddenly, without warning, his face contorted into a terrifying scowl before he spoke.

"Hear my name and tremble!" he bellowed with the edge of a most fearsome warrior, "I am Link, Chosen Hero of the Goddess Hylia...!"

The others froze in terror at this sudden change. For a moment, they could only look at each other, then back to their predecessor, their mouths agape.

"I don't believe it," Engie muttered, "that... that _is_ Sky, right?"

Sky beamed brightly, his cute features once again shining through. "So? How was that?"

The others smiled and laughed nervously, although Twilight, thoroughly impressed and slightly fearful of the elder Hero, took the opportunity to applaud for him.


	25. From The Afterlife With Love, Part 1

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**From The Afterlife With Love, Part 1**_

The Heroes were all very protective of their own, especially when a new one was fighting for the fate of Hyrule in the world of the living. They kept a close eye on these rookie Heroes, as the dead are want to do with their living loved ones, and often wished they could assist them more directly during their quest. Yet such a thing was not possible nor even desirable in the long run - after all, the Hero had to make his journey alone if he wanted to hone his power, wisdom, and courage.

But before we continue that line of thought, let's go back to the very beginning; the era when Sky was still the only hero in this afterlife. He had surrounded himself with friends and family and loved ones he forgot he even had, but he was heartbroken to hear that one dear friend wasn't able to make it - Fi, the spirit dwelling silently within the Master Sword. Of course, he knew why this was; she needed to stay behind with the sword in order to serve future Heroes. Yet he wasn't content to simply forget about her, so he had a small shrine to her built in the center of a beautiful garden located close to his home, and every day for thousands of years he would visit it and say "good morning" to the partner that had made such an impact on his life.

Time passed, and more Heroes lived and died, but they too would often come to pay their respects to the Spirit of the Master Sword, for they were grateful for her help despite never realizing she was there. Over time, Fi became something of a mythical guardian angel to the Heroes, silently watching over them during their journeys and deserving of their reverence and praise. She also became their connection to the world of the living when they could not directly assist a Hero on his quest, and a tradition was soon established where they would leave notes of prayer and encouragement for their living brethren at Fi's shrine, hoping that the silent spirit would make their wishes known.

And that's where we come back to our main point - the content of these notes. Some of the letters left at the shrine read as follows:

"May the little Hero get all of the soup from his grandmother he ever wanted. And may he also remember to bring some up here when his time comes; that stuff looks delicious! - Time"

"May the Hero of Time finally catch that stupid loach he's been after for days so that he can get on with finding the Sages already! - Mini"

"May he find all the rupees he needs, because I know what it's like to be dead broke. And may he not ever know what it's like to uncontrollably waste his money away on treasure chest games. - Light"

"May his goats not eat holes into my good uniform. I took good care of those clothes, and I expect him to do the same! - Sky"

"May he not keep burning down people's doors. That's not nice! - Duo"

"May he find the Moon Pearl quickly and save himself the embarrassment of having to run around as giant pink bunny rabbit. Sure, it's pretty adorable, but it's not very suiting for a Legendary Hero, don't you think? - Twilight"

"May that Blue Link learn to control his anger before he gets here. He's kind of scary. - Wind"

"May he kick evil's ass, rip out its guts, and hang it with its own innards! - Blue"

Yes, truly, the Heroes looked out for their own, for they all considered each other family.


	26. Fishing Can Be A REEL Pain

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Fishing Can Be A REEL Pain**_

Ah, fishing, a staple pastime for the Heroes. And it wasn't as if they had a lack of fish to catch in this paradise; they were everywhere, from the smallest of ponds to the great big ocean surrounding the realm. On the beach there was a long pier from which catching saltwater fish was easy, and this was exactly where Twilight and Brown had decided to spend part of their beach day.

Brown yawned and scratched his bare stomach with one hand while gripping his fishing pole in the other. "Never did have the patience for fishing," he said sleepily.

"Yeah," replied Twilight, "the waiting part can get pretty boring." He looked out to where his line met the surface of the water. "But when you get a bite, I think it's worth the effort."

"_If_ you manage to reel it in."

"Mmm. Good point."

The newer Hero let out a small sigh and let his eyes close. Then, all of the sudden, he was nearly pulled into the water by a strong tug on his line.

"_Whoa_!" he cried out, quickly bracing himself and reeling in his line. "Twilight! Twilight, I think I got a big one!"

Twilight gaped at the way his friend's pole bent. It really must have been a big one! He hopped to his feet and stood behind Brown, grabbing the pole and helping him pull it in.

"Geez, Brown!" he said with gritted teeth, "What did you catch, a whale!?"

"It couldn't be a _whale,_ genius!"

"That was a figure of speech — "

The two let out a cry as the fell over on their backs, tossing whatever they had caught onto the pier with them. When they sat up, they saw a boy with a mermaid's tail laying face down and coughing.

Brown's eyes widened as his inspected his catch. "A mermaid? Whoa, I didn't think those even existed!"

The boy lifted his head, his long bangs stuck to his face and his eyes filled with angry tears.

"Oh, nevermind," said Brown, clearly disappointed, "it's just Duo."

"You guys," Duo whined, "that really scared me! I thought I was gonna die again…!"

Twilight laughed nervously and helped Duo sit up. "Sorry! We thought you were a fish!"

The disheartened Link looked down at his mermaid suit, noticing a giant tear from where Brown's hook had caught it. "Now my suit is torn, too!"

"We'll get it fixed! Promise!"

Duo pouted pathetically. "Well, could one of you at least go get my swim trunks? I can't walk in this thing."

Brown raised an eyebrow. "You're… not wearing anything under it?"

"Of course not! It wouldn't fit if I did!"

"Here, I'll go get it," Brown said apologetically as he stood and started walking down the pier towards the shore. He paused for a moment when he thought he saw Green and his gang burying something in the sand, then shrugged and went on his way.


	27. Mighty Multicolored Hero Rangers

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Mighty Multi-Colored Hero Rangers**_

When Mini decided that he was going to try and overcome his dislike of cats, Twilight was more than happy to help. In fact, he took advantage of the perfect opportunity to get the smaller Hero used to his furry friends - he and Sky were going on a camping trip for a few days, and during that time, Mini would be responsible for keeping Ilia, an affectionate, cream-colored cat who often got lonely when Twilight was away. He would feed her, keep her company, and, of course, change her litter when needed, in the hopes that, by the time Twilight returned, Mini would have gotten over his apprehension and possibly even come to like cats. Little did he know, however, that caring for Ilia would prove to be more of a challenge than he thought.

"Ilia!" cried Mini, his gaze locked on the branch where the poor cat had gotten herself stuck. "Come on, Ilia, get down from there!"

Ilia simply stared at the boy, her eyes wide in fear as she gripped the branch for dear life.

"Oh, come on!" He put his hands on his hips. "I know it's scary - but you can't stay up there forever! Twilight'll get mad at me!"

The cat mewed pathetically in response. Surprisingly, Mini found himself feeling sorry for the poor creature; yet he couldn't for the life of him figure out a way to get her down. He sighed and hung his head.

"I wish one of the others was here," he muttered. "Maybe they'd know what to do."

"_Ho_! Is that a cry for help I hear?"

Mini jumped and looked toward the source of the familiar voice. When he saw who had spoken and where they had come from, he gaped in astonishment - there they were, Green and his personas, all lined up on the roof of the building behind him, wearing Roc's Capes and masks in their corresponding colors.

"Oh, you've gotta be _kidding_ me…!"

Blue snickered a bit at Mini's surprise before getting elbowed by Vio. Then, Green continued his speech, his arms crossed triumphantly.

"Ahem! …Never fear, good citizen! We, the Hero Rangers, are here to help!"

"_Hero Rangers_?" Mini rolled his eyes. "You guys look ridiculous!"

"Hey!" cried Red, pouting indignantly, "Don't laugh! We all worked really hard on this!"

Vio shrugged. "And besides, it was Green's idea. Don't blame the rest of us."

"Whatever. Just get down here and help me get Ilia out of this tree!"

"We're on it!" Green jumped gracefully from the roof, the others following suit. "Okay, guys - formation number five! Go!"

"Roger!"

They all rushed over to the base of the tree. Then, Blue extended his hands to Vio, who stepped on them and used them to climb onto his shoulders. Green followed suit, climbing onto Vio's shoulders, and finally Red topped the tower of Links, their combined height allowing him to grab the cat from her perch.

"There we go!" sang Red happily, petting Ilia. "Good girl, good girl…"

The four Heroes dismounted from each other, and Blue fell onto his bottom, his legs and arms giving out from the weight of the others. "How come I have to be on bottom?" he muttered to himself.

"What's wrong, Blue? I thought you said you were the strongest," said Vio with a smirk.

After taking Ilia back from Red, Mini smiled sheepishly. "Guess I owe you guys an apology," he said. "That was actually pretty cool."

"No apologies necessary!" said Green with pride. "We're just doing our jobs." He motioned to his personas. "Come, Rangers - I think I hear a cry for help over by Engie's place!"

And before Mini could even say 'thank you', the four bounded off to help their next, er, distressed citizen. Looking down at Ilia, he snickered.

"Those guys are pretty weird, huh, Ilia?"

Ilia meowed in agreement.


	28. Steamy Hot Springs Action, Part 3

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Steamy Hot Springs Action, Part 3**_

Twilight and Time could feel Sky's gaze burrowing into them from his place at the other side of the spring. He was frowning, his brow creased and his shoulders hunched, which was quite odd considering how relaxed he was known to get in places like this. Bothered by their senior's staring, the other two Heroes glanced at each other before Time took the initiative to address the issue.

"Hey, Sky?" he said, leaning forward in the water. "What's the matter? You look, uh, tense."

Sky looked up and blinked at the two before awkwardly looking away. "Oh, uh, nothing! I was just — "

Twilight pointed at Sky, interrupting him mid-sentence. "Uh-uh! Don't even think about lying to us," he said. "Usually you're half asleep when we get in the water here. _Something's_ up."

The elder Link reached up to scratch the back of his neck bashfully. "Okay, okay… but, really, it's nothing big, I swear. It's just," he tilted his head curiously, "when the heck did you guys get those _abs_?"

Time held his breath and bit his bottom lip to keep from choking on his laughter. Twilight just grinned devilishly.

"Oh?" Twilight adjusted his position rather conspicuously until said abs, which were indeed quite well-formed, were clearly visible to Sky. "Is someone jealous?"

"Don't worry, Sky," said Time with a snort he had tried but failed to suppress, "not everybody can have a perfect six-pack like we can. It, heh heh… it runs in the family."

"Yeah, that's right!" said Twilight, knocking on his stomach to demonstrate just how fit he was. "Runs in the family."

Sky pouted. "I-I'm not _jealous_! …And ab muscles don't 'run in the family', either!"

After a moment of snickers and giggles, Time shook his head. "We're _kidding_, Sky." He laced his fingers behind his head. "But, seriously, it's because Twilight and I train together twice a week. I thought you knew that."

"I did, but I didn't think it'd result in - well, _that_…"

Twilight smirked. "Of course you wouldn't. You sleep too much to exercise like we do."

"I do not!"

"Then why not come join us next time?" He glanced beside him towards Time. "Time'll make sure you get those abs; he'll run you to the _ground_."

Sky looked at Twilight, then at Time, then finally down at his own stomach. Of course, his figure wasn't one to sneeze at, either, but compared to the others', it was slightly… well, squishy. He sighed.

"Oh, all right. I guess I should work out more…"

Time laughed and cracked his knuckles. "All right, you asked for it," he said with a slightly threatening edge. "Don't blame me if you can't keep up, though!"

The first Hero lifted an eyebrow at his successor's tone. Of course he could keep up! …At least, he hoped he could.


	29. In That Case, Where's The Superglue?

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**In That Case, Where's The Superglue?**_

"Hey, Wind? I just thought of something."

Wind lifted his gaze from his mug of frothy hot chocolate. "Huh? What is it, Brown?"

Brown rested his head in his hand and looked up in thought. "You had to go around and collect pieces of the Triforce too, right?"

"Yeah. Mine was Courage, though, not Wisdom - why do you ask?"

"I was thinking... how do they manage to break it apart like that, anyway? I mean, isn't it all-powerful?"

Wind furrowed his brow and took a sip. "...You know, that's a good question," he said after a short pause. "You'd think something so powerful would be hard to break into pieces like that." His eyes went wide when he remembered something. "Wait - but didn't you say that your Zelda split apart the Triforce of Wisdom?"

"She did," answered Brown, holding his own mug absently without taking a drink, "but I never did ask her how she did it."

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "I was busy." He glanced back at the other Hero and grinned. "For all I know, she used a handsaw or something."

Wind nearly spat out his drink at the sudden mental image of the dainty Princess Zelda of Brown's time trying to saw apart her Triforce. He snickered. "Where would she get a handsaw powerful enough to cut the Triforce?"

"The same place I got a magical sword that shot beams at monsters?" Brown shrugged as he continued kidding around. "Those old men gave me all kinds of stuff. Maybe she got it from them."

"Or maybe," said Wind with a smile, "she just used magic or something to split it up. Zeldas can do that kind of thing, you know."

"I know," replied Brown, "but it's funnier to think she used a handsaw."

"Yeah, I guess I can agree with that."

Brown finally took a drink of his cocoa. For a moment, he considered asking her the next time she dropped by about how she divided the Triforce the way she did - but then he decided against it, not wanting to ruin the hilarious mental image he and Wind had conjured up.


	30. If The Mask Fits, Wear It!

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**If The Mask Fits, Wear It!**_

The Heroes had quite a lot in common besides their destinies, their clothes, and their general good nature. One of the most salient similarities was their tendency to fall soundly asleep in practically every other place _but_ their own beds. It didn't matter where it was or what time of day it was, one of the Links was bound to be snoozing away _somewhere_ at any given moment in their afterlife.

At this particular moment, Light had dozed off beneath the cool shade of an apple tree, his hat halfway fallen from his head and a spot of drool on his cheek. He was completely oblivious and completely vulnerable - and that was why the mysterious masked boy decided to wreak his mischief on the sleeping Hero.

The young boy broke a twig off of the tree and knelt beside Light's sleeping form. The reached over and brushed his nose with the twig's leaves, tickling him and causing his face to contort in discomfort. Then, he sneezed, waking himself up in the process. After sitting up with a start, Light looked around in a daze before coming face to face with a creepy looking yellow creature with black-tipped ears.

"_Wah_!" he screamed and recoiled in surprise, causing the boy in the keaton mask to begin laughing uncontrollably. Once Light realized that it was, indeed, only a mask, he frowned and pulled it off of the other's face. He then cocked an eyebrow when he recognized who it was. "Wait... Time?"

The boy grinned and gave his successor a playful wink. Although he was still recognizable as the Hero of Time, he looked no older then about ten. "Heheh, did I scare you, Light?"

"Of course not!" lied Light. "But what's with that form all of the sudden? You don't usually go around as a little kid."

Time shrugged. "I just felt like it, that's all. Honestly, I don't know why the rest of you don't change your ages more often - it's not like there's anything stopping you."

He had a point - they could pretty much take whatever form they wanted to in this life, but they often chose not to for consistency's sake. Light sighed. "Ah, well, maybe some other time."

"Suit yourself." Time reached in his pouch and rummaged around for something. "Anyway, I wanted to bring you something, Light."

"Bring me something? ...Why, though?"

Time rolled his eyes. "Do I always need a reason for everything? I just wanted to give everybody something nice, that's all."

"Sorry, sorry," Light said with a sheepish grin. "Thank you, though, that's really thoughtful of you."

"No problem." The young Hero of Time pulled out a bunny hood and handed it to Light. "Here you go!"

Light took it and inspected it. "Are these... bunny ears?"

Time nodded. "Yeah." He grinned cheekily. "I thought they'd suit you a lot better than me."

The newer Hero stared for a moment, then finally got the joke. His eye twitched and his cheeks turned the slightest bit red.

"Oh... oh. Ha ha. Very funny, Time."

"Don't be mad!" Time stretched his arms behind his head. "I gave Sky my all night mask, and _he_ thought it was pretty funny."

"_He's not the one who turned into a giant rabbit_!"

Time stood. "Geez, Light, you need to learn to take a joke," he said, pulling the keaton mask back over his face. "Anyway, I need to go find Twilight and Engie. Later!"

As the child Hero pattered off to find his other companions, Light took another look at the rabbit ears he had been given. Then, out of a morbid sense of curiosity, he put them on. To his surprise, he started chuckling at the thought of how he must have looked - maybe it wasn't such a terrible little joke after all.


	31. Let's Talk About Sausages

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Let's Talk About Sausages**_

Paradise wouldn't be paradise without a bountiful supply of delicious meat! Yes, the Heroes all loved their meat - in life, it gave them more than enough protein to build muscle and keep them going, and in death, well, it was just really, _really_ tasty. Barbequed and grilled meat of all kinds - beef, pork, cucco, and everything in between - were a favorite meal of the Links. They loved to chow down on smoked ham and juicy steaks and anything else they could stuff in their mouths, and tonight was no different.

Engie stabbed a fork into a long chain of smoked sausage and held it up, his eyes alight with ravenous hunger. He pulled off one of them and took a big bite. However, as he watched his table mates Green and Mini dig into the same rope of sausage, a funny thought occurred to him. He swallowed his food and proceeded to snicker.

Mini cocked an eyebrow at him just as he was opening his mouth for another bite. "What's so funny?"

"Guys," giggled Engie. He held up the sausage rope again for everyone to say. "Look, sausage links."

"Yeah," said Green, confused, "sausage links. Your point?"

"Sausage _Links_," repeated Engie. "Get it?"

The other two stared in silence for a moment before they finally got the joke. Green couldn't help but snort a little. "...Okay, that is kinda funny."

"Yeah," said Mini, "and it kinda describes all of us, too. We're all, you know, linked together, like sausages."

"Exactly!" Engie snickered again at his own genius. "Who knew that these sausages could describe us so well?"

Mini took the rope away from Engie and pulled off the second one from the end. "In that case, this one should be _my_ sausage."

"Why that one?" asked Green.

"'Cause it's the second one!" he held up the sausage that was first on the chain. "This one's Sky's sausage, 'cause it's the first."

"It's bigger than yours, though!"

"What do you expect? He's older!"

Engie held up the other end of the rope. "Mine'll be this one," he said, pulling off a sausage and biting into it. "It'sch not vurry big either, bud id shure tastesh good!"

"What about my sausage?" asked Green.

Mini took a sausage from the middle of the rope. Then, with his knife, he cut it into four pieces. "There you go, Green," he said, grinning, "there's your sausage."

"Hey!" cried Green, "You can't just cut up my sausage like that!"

"But now there's enough sausage for all of your gang!"

Engie burst into laughter, which caused the other two to laugh as well. Then, suddenly, as if the same thought hit all three Heroes simultaneously, they went silent.

"...I just realized that this whole sausage thing sounds really, really wrong," muttered Mini.

Engie turned a little pink at the realization. "Y-Yeah..."

"Dammit!" said Green, "And I was the one talking about Sky's big sausage, too...!"


	32. Does This Goatee Make Me Look Old?

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Does This Goatee Make Me Look Old?**_

Twilight grinned in the mirror, brushing the small patch of hair on his chin with his thumb. When was the last time he'd let himself grow a beard like this - when he was in his thirties, maybe? Sure, it looked a little strange on the boyish face he came to the afterlife with, but it brought back pleasant memories of his days with Hyrule's secret guardians; days of adventuring with Ashei, of archeological exploration with Shad, and plenty of drinks at Telma's bar. That was why he decided to keep it for a while, weird looks from his fellow Heroes be damned.

Said other Heroes, however, just couldn't get over how, well, _ugly_ the Hero of the Twilight Realm's beard was. Try as they might to be polite about it, they simply couldn't keep their disgust to themselves. That was why, after many unsuccessful attempts to politely suggest he get rid of it, they decided to send Time, the one they knew Twilight would listen to, to stage an intervention.

"Twilight," he said, standing at the doorway of his pupil's room, "we need to talk."

Twilight screamed and nearly fell on his bottom. He glared at the elder Hero. "D-Did you just come into my house without knocking!?"

"I _did_ knock," said Time, crossing his arms, "you were just too busy admiring yourself to hear me."

"Well, sorry," he said with a huff. "I was just reminiscing a bit. What did you need to talk about?"

Time pointed at the small square goatee on Twilight's chin. "_That_."

"Why do you guys care so much about my beard!?" Twilight spat, swatting away the pointed hand. "It's _my_ face, I can do with it what I want!"

"Twilight," Time narrowed his eyes, "I'm going to be honest with you, because you're family and I care about you. That beard is the single ugliest thing I've ever seen stuck to someone's face."

Twilight frowned, looking genuinely hurt by Time's honesty. "It is _not_ ugly!" He turned back to the mirror. "…Is it?"

"I'm afraid so. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it's _so_ ugly, it disgraces your ancestors."

"You mean _you_."

"I'm pretty sure your other ancestors would agree with me, though." He placed a hand on the sullen Link's shoulder. "Look, Twilight, I'm not afraid to tell you that you're a good looking man. You're way too handsome to not pay attention to how you look." He reached in his pouch and pulled out a small razor. "Now do us all a favor and shave. _Please_."

Twilight looked at his teacher's reflection, then at the razor. He sighed and took it. "Fine, if it really bothers you guys _that_ much…"

"I'm glad we could come to an agreement." Time smiled and patted the other's shoulder. "Just be grateful it was me who told you instead of, say, Midna. You know she wouldn't have been nearly as nice about it."

"Don't remind me." Twilight stood and sulked over to the bathroom.


	33. Whip It! Whip It Good!

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Whip It! Whip It Good!**_

Competition ran deep in the blood of the Heroes, not just with each other but also with themselves. Tests of skill were a favorite past time amongst them, but one can only play the same game or battle the same copy of a monster or boss for so many centuries before one needs to shake things up a bit. And this was exactly what Engie decided to do one day when he had absolutely nothing better to do.

The task was simple: using the odd snake-shaped whip he had come to love over his journey whilst alive, he would attempt to steal one personal artifact off of each of the other Links' persons without any of them noticing. Of course, he'd give everything back - he was a Legendary Hero, not a thief - but it was a challenge in both stealth and coordination that seemed quite exhilarating to Engie. At the time.

He grinned to himself, tossing the bomb bag he had swiped off of his predecessor, the Hero of Winds, mere moments earlier. What was he doing with that thing, anyway? Ah, well, he thought, it didn't matter - he had almost taken something from each of the other Heroes, including Mini's quiver, a sandwich bag that belonged to Green, Brown's recorder, Duo's seed satchel, some book about goats that Twilight had been reading, a bottle of Lon Lon Milk that Time was drinking, and the entirety of Light's pouch and everything inside of it. Now he only had Sky left to steal from - an easy enough task, he figured. Despite being the eldest and most respected (for the most part), taking something from that dopey guy should have been a cinch.

"Should have been" being the key phrase, for the moment that Engie flicked his whip towards Sky's beloved sailcloth that was hanging off of his shoulder, the elder Hero spun around and caught the end of the whip without even flinching. Engie yelped in surprise and froze - he'd been caught red-handed!

Sky smirked, tugging on the other's weapon. "I figured you'd take the bait," he said. "You really think you can go around stealing our stuff without us all noticing?"

Engie tugged back, trying to keep Sky from taking his whip. "Grr… I was so careful, too!"

Sky "tsk"ed. "You forget that you're not the only one who knows how use one of these." He reached into his own pouch and pulled out his own whip. "If you want to take our things, I'll return the favor ten-fold!"

Suddenly, Engie felt a sharp pain on his hands. He screamed, dropping the whip when Sky's smacked him. Sky tossed it aside and grabbed the rope of his weapon, chuckling with a hint of uncharacteristic sadism that made Engie shiver in his boots.

"Let's see… those are your engineer's clothes, right? That hat must be pretty important to you - I think I'll just take that!"

With a crack, Engie's red engineer's cap was gone and tossed aside by Sky.

"That belt looks really nice, too!"

_Crack_! There went Engie's belt. "S-Sky!" He cried, "I-I was gonna give everything back! I _swear_ — "

He was interrupted when the whip hooked onto the band of his pants. With a tug from Sky, the boy was knocked to his bottom. He watched in horror as his navy engineer's pants were yanked over his boots and right off of his legs, leaving him in his briefs. He screeched and covered himself as Sky simply laughed.

"So, Engie," he said, "how does it feel to get a taste of your own medicine? Hmm?"

"I… I'm _sorry_! I won't do it again! I _swear_!"

"That's better." Sky tossed his pants back to him. "And because you're such a good sport, I'll even let you keep your pants on while you give everyone's things back."

Engie stumbled to put them back on. "Geez, Sky… you're _terrifying_ sometimes. I thought you were supposed to be one of the nicest!"

The elder Link shrugged. "You guys are my responsibility," he said, "I have to keep you all in line _somehow_."

"Well, I guess I did _kind of_ deserve it…"

"Hey, just be glad it wasn't Time. He would have made you do push-ups with Twilight or something."

"Yeah," said Engie, fastening the last button on his pants, "good point."


	34. From The Afterlife With Love, Part 2

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**From The Afterlife With Love, Part 2**_

Being the new Hero in the afterlife was a bit overwhelming for Brown at times. Thought he had been here for years, it was still a lot to take in. He had been bombarded with the realization that he was not just Link, protector of the Triforce, but that he was also a part of a long and ancient story that went back thousands upon thousands of years. It was all so much, and yet... it was kind of neat at the same time. At least, that's what he thought.

He strolled through the gardens, passing by Fi's shrine and giving it a small smile. That shrine was a testament to the enduring nature of his kind; a symbol of the Heroes' special connection with each other. With a feeling of gratitude, Brown decided to say a quick prayer of thanks to their guardian spirit. He walked over, removed his hat, and bowed slightly - when something on the ground suddenly caught his eye. It was a small pile of letters addressed to him!

Of course, Brown knew of the tradition the others had, though he had not had the opportunity to participate in it himself. Maybe the other Links had forgotten to clear their prayers for him from the shrine after he arrived? He pondered this for a moment, curious as to what kind of blessings they were sending to him while he was alive. Finally, that curiosity became too much to resist, so he sat down and began reading the letters and cards one by one.

"May his magical recorder actually take him where he wants to go the first time. How is he supposed to get anything done if it just drops him off at some random place in Hyrule? - Engie"

"May he find a bigger bomb bag soon. Seriously, what is he going to do with just eight bombs? - Wind"

"May the moblins who give him money not do anything weird to him. He's only ten years old! - Twilight"

"May he realize that 'the secret at the tip of the nose' means a place on his map and not on his actual nose. - Time"

"May he not forget the silver arrows. I mean it. He _can't_ forget the silver arrows. - Light"

"Happy sixteenth birthday! May you get a chance to celebrate before Impa sends you on another journey. - Duo"

"And those women in town better not be doing anything weird to him either! - Twilight"

"May he always have magic power on hand when he needs it. He's going to need that Shield spell quite a bit, after all. - Sky"

"May he figure out what that Spell spell does soon, because we sure as hell can't. - Green"

"May he take good care of the Triforce of Courage. Time, Twilight, and Wind will all get angry if he doesn't. - Mini"

Brown laughed heartily as he read his predecessors' prayers, but he also felt the slightest touch of tears in his eyes. The thought that he had been loved so much by the others in his line was incredibly moving to him, and one day, he hoped that he could show the next Hero that same kind of love.


	35. Link's Love Training

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Link's Love Training**_

"Okay, okay, guys. So. _Girls_."

The other Heroes at the table turned to Brown, who, true to his ever-curious nature, had posited the subject of the so-called fairer sex.

"Uh," asked Duo with a small gulp, "what about girls?"

"I was just thinking." Brown leaned forward, pointing his pasta-covered fork at the others. "I know a bunch of us were married or dating or whatever during life, but let's forget about that for a moment. If a pretty girl walked up to you all right now, and you were available, how would you ask her out?" He smirked. "I'm eager to hear everybody's answers."

Twilight scoffed, amused. "Well, if you're so eager, how about you go first, Brown?"

"Yeah," snickered Green, "tell us just how your scruffy face would win over a girl's heart!"

"Okay, fine." He finally put his pasta in his mouth and ate it. "First of all, I'm not _scruffy_, I'm _rugged_! Girls go crazy for strong, seasoned adventurers, you know?"

"Yeah, rugged, _sure_." Green crossed his hands behind his head smugly.

"I'm serious! Anyway," Brown fiddled with his fork as he spoke, "I'd tell her that I know the whole of Hyrule like the back of my hand, then I'd offer to take her wherever she wanted. We could go mountain climbing or rafting down a river - whatever she wanted to do."

Time chuckled. "So, then, what if you ran into any monsters?"

"I'd cut them down, of course," he swiped his utensil through the air a few times, "and impress her with my swordplay."

Twilight tilted his head. "So, you'd put her in harm's way and risk monsters getting to her just to show off? That doesn't sound very gentlemanly of you, Brown."

The newest Hero turned red and sputtered. "Th-That's not what I said at all!"

"Twilight, you know that's not what he meant," said Sky, trying to shut down a potential argument before it began. "Anyway, I'd like to go next, if nobody else minds."

The others sat back and listened to their senior as he spoke.

"I think," he said with a warm smile, "that the quickest way to a girl's heart is to give her something that comes from your own. So I'd make her a statue and pour all of my love into it."

"Aw, that's really sweet!" said Duo.

Brown groaned and rolled his eyes. "Maybe _too_ sweet. Sky, that's just plain corny, and you know it!"

"Who cares if it's corny as long as it's sincere?" Sky retorted with a smiling face that would have melted the hearts of anyone else had they been the room with them.

Green laughed. "Well, that's Sky for you," he said. "Anyway, you wanna know what I'd do? I'd tell that girl to bring three of her friends, and then - "

Time interrupted him by nearly spitting out a bit of his drink. He quickly covered his mouth and snorted as he tried to swallow the rest of it. "Green," he said, clearly amused, "I'm pretty sure Mini wouldn't want you to use the Four Sword that way..."

"Why not?" He grinned and winked seductively. "If there's enough Link to share, then dammit, I'm going to share!"

Twilight flicked his head. "That's called two-timing, you twerp! You're a Hero; you can't do that!"

Green winced at the flick, but kept grinning nevertheless. "Correction," he said, "it'd be _four-timing_."

Duo raised his hand, eager to end that particular conversation right then and there. "Um, I'll go now, I guess..."

"Sure," said Sky, "go ahead."

"Well, first, I'd take her someplace really nice to eat... then we'd go for a long walk down the shoreline of Lake Hylia, maybe go swimming if we felt like it - "

"Oh, come _on_!" cried Brown, "That's just _boring_!"

"But that's the kind of thing girls think is romantic, right?"

"Only in trashy romance novels!"

Green piped in. "Brown's right, Duo. If you want to make it interesting, you should go skinny dipping with - _mpph_!"

Twilight yanked Green's hat down over his head. "You hush," he said with a glare.

Time shut his eyes in thought, a smile creeping across his lips. He stroked his chin before finally speaking. "Well," he said, "I guess it's all come down to this." He stood from his seat, then motioned to his pupil. "Twilight, help me out here."

"Eh?" questioned Twilight as he stood up.

"We're going to demonstrate," said Time as he untied his undershirt just enough to show off his collarbones, "the charm that runs in our family."

The younger Hero recoiled. "Y-You're not demonstrating _anything_ on me, Time!"

"I don't mean _on _you !" He walked over and yanked his descendent towards him. "Just do what I do, okay?"

Twilight sighed and hesitantly went to undo the laces of his own undershirt. "All right, all right... like this?"

"And take off your hat, too," said the elder Hero, yanking off both his and Twilight's hats. "Got to make sure they can see your luscious golden locks."

"L...Luscious..."

"Now," the Hero of Time placed on hand on his hip and the other running through his bright blond bangs; then, he smiled a smile that had once taken the women and men of Castle Town by storm, "_smile_."

Twilight looked at his ancestor for a moment before copying his pose as best as he could. Indeed, the resemblance between the two handsome Heroes was uncanny, and between the both of them they could have set the whole of Hyrule's hearts aflame _twice_.

The others, however, weren't quite as charmed as Time had hoped - instead of handsome or sexy, they simply thought the two were downright _hilarious_. They all began to roar in laughter; Brown hit his fist on the table, Sky had tears in his eyes, and Green fell out of his seat. Even Duo, who never liked laughing at another's expense, was doubled over and shivering from his giggles.

The two posing Links' expressions dropped. Twilight slapped his palm to his face and groaned. "If _this_ is the 'charm' I inherited from you," he said, "then I don't _want_ you as my ancestor."

Time growled and turned red. "You just earned yourself thirty more pushups during training tomorrow."

"W-What!? But this was _your_ idea, not mine...!"


	36. No, This Can't Be It, Too Bad!

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**No, This Can't Be It... Too Bad!**_

Light tapped his cheek with his finger and pondered. "So," he said, "you're saying that the Sages move the Master Sword every time it gets used?"

Sky nodded. "Yeah, so its location remains a secret to everyone." He leaned back in his seat, satisfied with his explanation. Light, however, had a few more questions to ask.

"I don't get it, though," he said, "if only us Heroes can pull it out, how come they need to move it? It's not like anyone else could take it or anything."

"You never know, though," answered Sky, "just because no one else _should_ be able to take it doesn't mean they _won't_. It's just a safety precaution, that's all."

"Well, I guess - but that makes it harder for us when we have to find it!"

The elder Hero blinked, confused. "...You had a hard time finding it?"

"They don't call it the Lost Woods for nothing, you know!" Light crossed his arms indignantly. "If they'd left it near the castle like when Time found it, I could have gotten to it a whole lot faster."

"That may be, but - "

"And that _jerk_ who lived in the forest kept throwing me off, too, with his fake Master Swords!"

"Hold on," Sky said, holding out his hand to silence his successor, "_fake_ Master Swords?"

Light nodded. "There was this con man who lived in the Lost Woods. Usually he'd just dupe people out of their money with his dumb treasure chest game - " he conveniently failed to mention how he had been duped himself at that very game and continued, " - but he also made a bunch of crummy Master Sword knock offs and put them all over the woods. Then he'd charge for people to come and see them."

"He - " A sudden irritation engulfed the first Hero, the one who had worked so hard to forge the holy blade in the first place and who had personally known the spirit that dwelled within. He grimaced, placing his palms on the table. "That _idiot_! He didn't have a _clue_ how important that sword was! How _dare_ he try and make knock-offs like that!?"

"Whoa, Sky!" Light stood, trying to calm him down, "Calm down, it's not that big of a deal - "

"It _is_, though!" Sky's expression softened into one of sadness. "Fi's not some kind of tacky side show attraction! She's my friend! She's done so much - she's the reason Hyrule's still safe!" However, he quickly resumed his glare and continued. "When I see that guy, I'm giving him a piece of my mind!"

"It's _okay_, Sky, really!"

"Nobody treats my friends like that and gets away with it...!"

With that, the offended Hero stood up and stormed off, determined to figure out who this con man was and where he had ended up after death. Light tried to stop him, but instead he got a close call with a slammed door.

He sighed, running a hand through his fluffy blond bangs. Then, he chuckled nervously to himself - of course, he realized, Sky had every right to be mad. After all, wouldn't you be, too, if your best friend was being reduced to such shoddy knockoffs?


	37. The Maiden Voyage Of The Farore's Wind

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**The Maiden Voyage Of The **_**Farore's Wind**

The call of adventure of was something shared by all of the Heroes, but the call of the sea was something unique to the Hero of Winds. In life, the ocean had been his domain; together with Tetra and her pirate crew, he had conquered the waves, braved countless storms, and charted plenty of undiscovered waters. Even when they finally settled down in New Hyrule, he would often take to the high seas during his endless endeavors to serve and protect his country. Needless to say, that sailor's calling had not ended with his death; in fact, here in this perfect realm made just for him and his kind, he was more eager than ever to set sail on brand new voyages.

He wasn't the only one who felt the urge to raise the anchors and sail away, either - a number of the other Heroes, most of whom never had a chance to sail on a ship during their lives, agreed to be a part of Wind's "crew" on a small ship dubbed _Farore's Wind_. They had all expected to be enraptured by the beauty of the ocean and maybe find some treasure along the way; their inexperience, however, would instead cause the makeshift captain more grief than he had anticipated.

Wind shut his eyes and breathed in the salty sea air that ruffled his hair and blew his mantle around. The feeling of exhilaration almost brought tears to his eyes, but a good captain never cried in front of his crew! He steadied the ship's steering wheel, keeping its course straight.

Suddenly, he heard Mini's voice call out for him. "Wind! Hey, Wind!"

He startled a little and turned. "Mini, what is it?"

Mini ran over to him. "It's Blue and Red. We can't find them!"

"You can't find them?" Wind grimaced and put a hand on his hip. "Come on, the ship's not _that_ big! You can't have lost them!"

"Green and Vio are checking below deck," answered Mini, who was also getting a little agitated, "and I think you should help us look! You can leave the wheel for ten minutes, can't you?"

The captain rolled his eyes and turned back to the wheel. "Of course I can't! If I lose track of where we are, it'll take forever to get us back on course!"

"What kind of captain ignores when his crew goes missing, though?" Mini crossed his arms and scoffed.

"I'm not ignoring anything!"

"Guys! We found them!"

The two Heroes turned to see Green and Vio dragging Red and Blue by their wrists back onto the deck. The two who had gone missing seemed oddly clumsy for some reason - a reason that clicked once they saw the large green bottle Blue held in this hand.

"_Someone_ decided they were going to start a party below deck," sighed Vio, tugging Blue forward, "and dragged Red into it too."

Blue glared petulantly at his other self. "Let go of me, you ass!" He yanked his hand away. "I'm an adult, dammit!"

Red giggled and waved at Wind and Mini. "Hi guys! Blue found the rum - you want some?"

The captain's eye twitched as he stormed towards the drunken sailors. He gave them a glare before taking the bottle of rum from Blue's fist and tossing it overboard. This only further enraged Blue, who began screaming at the elder Hero.

"You bastard, that was _my_ rum!"

"And you're also the _last_ person who needs to be drinking that stuff on _my_ ship!"

"Screw you! Since when did you get to tell me what to do!?"

"Since I became captain!"

Their argument was interrupted by a wail from Red, who has sobbing profusely and covering his ears. "Guys!" he cried, "Don't fight! Please don't fight! This was supposed to be a fun trip..."

Green patted his crimson companion's head and sighed, trying to comfort him. Vio then gave Blue a glare that was even icier than Wind's.

"Now look what you've done," he said, "you made Red cry."

Blue's face softened at the sight of his friend's tears, but it was the alcohol that made him start shedding his own. With a choked sob, he embraced Red. "I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean it...!"

The two blubbering Links fell to the floor in a tearful, drunken heap, and Wind rubbed his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. What in the goddesses' names was he supposed to do with such a disobedient crew? That was when he caught a glimpse of Engie leaning over the rails and heaving.

"Oh no," muttered Wind, "Engie didn't get drunk too, did he?"

Green shook his head. "Nah, he didn't touch the stuff."

"Yeah, I think he's just seasick," chimed in Mini.

"I wanna go home!" they heard the sickly Hero cry out, "I _hate_ boats...!"

They all winced as they heard gross vomiting noises, and suddenly, Captain Link of the _Farore's Wind_ had second thoughts about the entire voyage.


	38. Don't Get Your Mawashi In A Twist

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Don't Get Your Mawashi In A Twist**_

"_Ugh_!" cried Green as he flopped unceremoniously out of the sumo ring and onto his back. He sat up and scowled. "Dammit! That's the fifth time you've won, Twilight!"

Twilight cracked his knuckles with a victorious grin. "Hey, you're the one who told me not to go easy on you, Green."

"But you just tossed me out of the ring like I was nothing!" Green hopped to his feet, adjusting the cotton belt that just barely fit his relatively scrawny form.

"I've tossed around goats and gorons that were a lot heavier than you," replied Twilight, "so, yeah, you kind of do weigh nothing to me." He turned to his left and called out. "Duo! Get up here!"

"O-Okay!" said Duo as he stood from his seat. He was positive wouldn't stand a chance against his older companion, who hadn't lost a sumo match for as long as he could remember, but he had agreed to come to the ring with him and Green as a learning experience. He stepped onto the platform, got into position, and grinned nervously.

"You don't look very confident, Duo," said Twilight, also getting into his starting position.

Duo laughed a little. "I'm not," he said, "after seeing what you did to Green."

"Don't worry about it - this isn't about winning or losing or anything like that." He smiled brightly. "I'll even go easy on you if you want me to."

"That's probably a good idea, yeah."

"Right. Green, can you count down for us?"

"You got it!" Green walked over to the edge of the ring and called out, "Three! Two! One! Go!"

The two wrestlers hovered around each other for a moment before Twilight took the initiative. He lunged forward in an attempt to grab the younger Hero, but something automatic, instinctual, and decidedly un-sumolike took over Duo. With swiftness and grace, he sidestepped his opponent, made a fist, and decked him in the jaw, causing Twilight to cry out and stumble backwards. After realizing what he did, Duo gasped and began to apologize profusely.

"Oh my gosh, Twilight! I'm sorry!" he said, covering his mouth with his hands.

Twilight rubbed his jaw and gave the other Link an incredulous look. "What the hell was that for? This is _sumo_, not _boxing_!"

"I know! I know!" Duo blushed profusely and hung his head in shame. "I'm just so used to boxing with Ricky... I don't know what came over me!"

Green snickered. "Heheh! That muscle memory's really something, huh?"

"I'll say," muttered Twilight. He got back into his starting position. "All right, let's try this again - and try not to hit me in the face this time, okay?"

"Okay..." Duo readied himself, and after Green counted down a second time, they began their match again, and again Twilight made the first move. This time, however, Duo dodged his lunge… and landed a right hook on his stomach, causing Twilight to sputter, cough, and keel over.

"Oh no, not again!" cried Duo, kneeling down to check on his friend. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry...!"

Twilight looked up and gave Duo a glare. "You really should stick to boxing, Duo," he choked, "I don't think sumo wrestling is your thing."

Duo sighed sadly. "Yeah... I think you're right..."

Green, however, simply stood at the sidelines and laughed.


	39. I'll Protect You Forever And Ever

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**I'll Protect You Forever... And Ever... And Ever... **_

The Hero of Time whistled a happy little tune as he tossed a stone across the pond. He grinned as the rock skipped over the water not once, not twice, but three times before sinking to the bottom. He always had been good at skipping stones; Saria had taught him how when he was alive, and he had spent the last few thousand years perfecting his technique.

He reached for another rock and inspected it, checking to see if it was smooth enough to use. Suddenly, however, he heard a chorus of raucous laughter approaching from behind. Startled, he dropped the rock and turned his head.

"Cut it out, you guys! There's nothing wrong with liking cats!"

Time's ears perked. It was Twilight, and it sounded like he was being laughed at.

"Of course there's not," laughed Light's voice, "but watching the great Hero of the Twilight Realm baby talking and kissing kittens is pretty damn funny!"

"I-I was not _baby talking_ - "

Mini chimed in, his voice high-pitched and mocking, "'Aww, who's a good kitty? Who's the prettiest kitty in the whole wide world? Who's a cute little baby _boo-boo-boo-boooo_?'" He laughed. "Don't tell me that wasn't baby-talk, Twilight!"

"I didn't say that!"

"You did too!"

Time's eye twitched. Those brats were being awfully rude to his descendent! He had no intention of letting it go on, of course, and stormed over to where the trio of Heroes stood.

"_What are you doing to my protégé_?" he bellowed with a fierce, authoritative edge.

All eyes instantly turned to Time, and immediately they noticed something quite terrifying. He had a disturbing glint in his eyes and a distinctly evil aura about him; an aura that should never follow in the presence of a champion of good like him.

Light gulped. "We... we were just kidding around, Time! Honest!"

"Kidding around? ...And making _my_ Twilight cry?" He tilted his head with an unsettling smile. Then, he wrapped his arms around Twilight's neck, causing him to let out a nervous squeak. "Did you really think I'd let you get away with that?"

"I," stammered Twilight, "I wasn't _crying_, Time..."

"Shh," Time said, putting a finger to his pupil's lips, "it's all right, Twilight. Teacher's here. I'll protect you from these _scoundrels_." He flashed a wicked grin at the other two at the word "scoundrels".

"W-We're sorry, Time!" cried Mini, "Forgive us, please...!"

Time chuckled. "Forgive you? Heh... heheheh..." He then scowled ferociously. "_**Leave!**_"

The two petrified Heroes screamed and tripped over themselves trying to flee Time's wrath. Once they were out of earshot, however, he let go of Twilight and began to laugh until tears filled his eyes. Eventually, he caught his breath and wiped his eye. "Hahaha! Did you see the look on their faces!? I can't believe they fell for that!"

"Wait, wait, you were _faking_ all that!?" Twilight looked at the elder Hero like he was positively nuts. "Time, that was the scariest thing I've ever seen...!"

Time's laughter began anew at his reaction. He ruffled Twilight's hair. "Well," he said between chuckles, "it got them to leave you alone, didn't it?"

"Well, yes - but now they're going to think you're completely insane!"

"Let them; it'll be funnier that way." He took the younger Link's chin in his hand and narrowed his eyes. "_Won't it, Dear Twilight_?"

Twilight screamed.


	40. Tra La La, Look For Sahasarahla

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Tra La La, Look For Sahasarahla**_

"Hmm, hmm, let's see... one, two, three, four..."

Light cocked an eyebrow, amused at Sky's attempt to count each blade of grass as he was sprawled out lazily on the ground. The elder Hero sorted through the leafy green with his fingers, giggling all the way.

"Nine... ten..." he stopped, then rolled back onto his back and laughed. "Ha ha! Oops, I lost count..."

The younger Link knew he shouldn't laugh, but he grinned in spite of himself. "Sky, you're not going to be able to count every blade of grass. It's impossible."

"Nuh-uh! I bet I could!" He waved his hand dismissively in the general direction he thought Light was standing in. "You underestimate me, Duo."

"I'm _Light_."

Sky snorted. "Heheh, that's okay. You still have pink hair though."

Light snickered. Of course, he didn't have anything of the sort. "Okay, whatever you say, Sky." He turned his head when he heard approaching footsteps - it was Brown, and he was looking at the giggly Hero with a look of utter confusion. After a moment of staring, Brown whispered to Light.

"What happened to _him_?" he asked.

"Magic powder," said Light with a shrug. "I think he confused it with sugar and put it in his coffee."

"Oh." Brown looked back at Sky, who had reached into his pouch and had somehow fished out an empty bottle. He waved it around clumsily above him, trying to catch something that wasn't actually there.

"Hey, a fairy!" he continued trying to catch the "fairy", but eventually he frowned in frustration. "Why won't it go in the bottle? Come on, fairy, I need you to go in the bottle...!"

"Maybe you need to use your bug net first," suggested Brown.

Light shot him a glare. "Don't encourage him, Brown!"

"I'm just kidding," he replied. "How long is he gonna be like this, anyway?"

"Not too long; he'll be fine in a half-hour or so."

"And you know this _how_?"

Light sighed. "I'll tell you later."

Sky dropped his hand and looked around pitifully. "It flew away..." He pouted. "That's fine. I didn't like that fairy anyway."

And so, Light and Brown spent the remaining half-hour watching their senior to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Actually, scratch that - they were mostly just watching him for their own amusement.


	41. And It's So Easy When You're Evil

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**And It's So Easy When You're Evil**_

The shadow version of the Hero of Time focused intently on wiping the blade of his sword with a small washcloth, a permanent scowl etched into his face. He ignored whatever idiotic banter was going on between Dark Twilight and Dark Sky, who were seated at the other side of the table, and polished the black metal until it gleamed. However, staying in his own little lonely, grumpy world wouldn't keep the others away forever, and Dark Twilight eventually addressed him, much to his chagrin.

"So how long are you going to keep polishing your sword, Time?" He snickered. "Didn't you have plenty of time to do that in the Water Temple?"

"If you're trying to make a dirty joke, Twilight," said Dark Time without even looking up from his work, "you can save yourself the embarrassment and shut your mouth right now."

"Dirty jokes? Who, _me_?" Dark Twilight adopted the most mockingly angelic face he could come up with. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

Dark Sky leaned back in his seat and yawned. "Exactly, Time... all he's saying is that it must have gotten, heheh, _lonely_ waiting in that room for all that time..."

The irritated Dark Link shot him a glare. "You can be quiet, Sky, or I'll silence you permanently."

"Hey now! That's no way to treat your elders."

"Yeah!" Dark Twilight stood from his seat, walked over to his predecessor, and planted his rear on the table in front of him, placing a foot on Dark Time's thigh. He crossed his other leg over the first and rested his chin in his palm. "You really should work on your anger problem. You're _much_ more attractive when you're not scowling all the time."

Dark Time growled. "Get _off_, Twilight."

"Oh, I can _get off_ all right," he winked seductively, "but that would require you to take off your clothes, Time."

The angry shadow lunged forward to grab him, but Dark Sky managed to pull him away before he could. The eldest of the three sighed, shrugging with one hand.

"Now, now, boys, no fighting. We're all on the same side, after all." He turned Dark Twilight's face towards him. "Isn't that right?"

Dark Twilight grinned, getting unsavory ideas. "Oh, see, Time? Sky knows how to be charming." He placed a hand gingerly on the other's pale, grey face. "I may just have to take him instead."

Dark Sky chuckled, placing his hand over Dark Twilight's. "Oh, Twilight, you flatter me." He then grabbed a steak knife from the table and ran it into the other shadow's gut, smiling sadistically. "_But I'll pass_."

Dark Twilight choked, fumbling backwards and nearly running into Dark Time. After regaining his balance, he growled ferociously at Dark Sky. "You'll _pay_ for that," he said as he pulled the knife out of the bloodless wound.

At this sight, Dark Time began to laugh. "Ha! ...Serves you right, you _lecher_."

"Shut up!" Dark Twilight lunged forward, grabbed Dark Sky by the neck, then -

* * *

><p>"Wah!"<p>

Sky awoke with a start, looking around the dining room frantically. Once he realized that the previous scenario was just a dream, he sighed in relief. This caught the attention of Time and Twilight, who had been discussing something or another amongst themselves.

"Sky?" asked Twilight, concerned, "You okay?"

"Yeah," he answered, "I just had the weirdest dream." He looked at Time. "You know that shadow you once had to fight - that 'Dark Link'?"

Time tilted his head. "Yeah, what about him?"

"I dreamed there were three of them," he said, "and one of them looked like you, another looked like me, and the last looked like Twilight. Time's shadow was really angry, mine was a two-faced jerk, and Twilight's - " Sky stopped himself, turning a little red before he admitted to the things the dream shadow had been doing.

"What?" asked Twilight, curious, "What was mine doing?"

"...Nevermind," muttered Sky, "you don't want to know."


	42. Post Pubescent Perks

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Post-Pubescent Perks**_

Wind laughed, a large, tanned hand stirring around the steaming contents of his coffee cup. His voice was deeper, practically unrecognizable if one had only seen him in the form he arrived in. Today, he and Engie decided that they would relive some of their later years for the time being, and they spent the day readjusting to their adult forms as well as surprising the other Heroes with their "new" look.

"So Light _screamed_ when he saw you?" asked the Hero of Winds incredulously and crossing his legs, which bore leggings and boots that were standard issue among New Hyrule's guards back in his day. "You honestly don't look _that_ much different!"

Engie snickered, taking his coffee (served black, as all good engineers preferred it) in a gloved hand and taking a sip. He wore a dark blue coat that contrasted well with Wind's green guardsman uniform, and the pins and medals he had received for his service to the crown in life added a little bit of color. "He sure thought I did! He asked me, 'Engie, when did you get _tall_?'"

Wind drank his own coffee (served with warm cream and sugar; he wasn't quite as bold as his successor) and grinned. "Haha, people were asking me that, too." He stroked his stubbled chin with his thumb. "They were also wondering how I got so tan. I don't know why they're surprised - everyone gets a little darker when they've been on the sea as much as I have."

"Yeah," replied Engie, who placed his elbows on the table. "I'm a bit jealous, actually - you really did grow up to be tall, dark, and handsome!"

"Don't be," assured Wind, "you became pretty handsome yourself! I mean, you're a Link - we've all turned heads at one point or another."

"Good point." Engie brushed back a well-trimmed sideburn. "Maybe attractiveness is just a part of the Goddesses' blueprint for Heroes. When we're kids, girls are always saying how cute we are - then you grow up, and suddenly women are boarding your train just to check you out!"

"Or running up to you squealing when you go into town."

"I heard Twilight had to deal that a lot."

"You don't know the half of it - that guy had his own _fan club_!"

The two Heroes of New Hyrule laughed heartily. Then, Engie spoke up again.

"I guess puberty being kind to us is one of the perks of being a Legendary Hero, don't you think?"

"I couldn't have said it better myself."

They clinked their cups together in cheers, indulging in this short moment of vanity and self-congratulation. They were Heroes, after all, and they were entitled to a little shameless egoism every now and then.


	43. Pre Pubescent Perks

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Pre-Pubescent Perks**_

Time took the grass flute in his chubby, boyish hands and put it to his lips. Then, he blew gently in it - a bit too gently, for it made no sound. Frustrated, he took a deep breath and blew harder, and the resulting sound, which fell on the spectrum somewhere between a screeching cat and a fart, caused the other young boys beside him to double over laughing.

He turned to them, flustered and frowning. "Don't laugh!" whined the young Hero of Time, "This is really hard!"

Twilight snickered some more, grabbing the blades of grass that he had stored in the rope of his traditional Ordonian waist wrap and putting together an instrument of his own. "No, it really isn't that hard," he giggled, "you're just bad at it."

"Don't you talk to me that way, Twilight!"

Sky grabbed the tips of his oversized green shirt with his fingers and chuckled. "No offense, Time, but you're not that intimidating when you're little like this."

"That shouldn't matter, though! I'm still his senior!" Time huffed. "He knows better than to be rude like that!"

"It's not rude if it's the truth," said the young Twilight with a grin before placing his own grass flute to his lips and playing a perfect little ditty with skill and grace. The only aggravated Time more, who rolled his eyes and groaned.

Sky laughed again. "I guess being kids again gave you guys an excuse to be immature, huh?"

"Heheh! Maybe," said Twilight. He crossed his legs, his tiny toes curling up in his leather sandals. "It's a little weird being this small again... but I guess it kind of makes me feel - well, freer, I guess."

"Freer from what?" asked Sky.

Twilight shrugged. "I dunno. Responsibility. Burdens. Things like that."

"Yeah," said Time, bringing up his knees and resting his head on them, "it's silly, since we're all dead and don't have any real responsibilities anyway... but I get what you mean."

"And everything's a lot cooler when you're a kid!" Sky looked out to the horizon. "Like, when you're an adult, a wooden box is just a wooden box; something you might find a few rupees inside. But when you're a kid, you can climb inside that box, and suddenly it becomes a house or a boat!"

Twilight nodded. "I remember I'd pretend that sticks were swords and try to ride on the goats when I wasn't big enough to ride horses. Those were the days, huh?"

"Yeah," added Time, "but once you're done having fun and you try and get things done, nobody takes you seriously." He scoffed and dug his heels into the ground. "Then they pat you on the head, call you 'Mr. Hero,' and laugh at you."

"You're _still_ sore about that, Time?" asked Sky with a cocked eyebrow.

Time shrugged. "Can you blame me?"

"Come on, don't be a drag!" Twilight patted his senior's shoulder. "You're the one who said it'd be fun being kids again! Lighten up!"

"You're right," said Time with a small smile as he picked up his grass flute again, "I'll stop being a killjoy." He blew on the flute again and managed to produce a sound that was only slightly less irritating than his first try.


	44. All Aboard The EXPRESS Express!

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**All Aboard The EXPRESS Express!**_

Duo broke into a big smile as he pressed his hands against the train's glass windows. His version of Hyrule had no trains, and he was amazed to discover that, in an alternate history, people actually used such magnificent machines to get around! So he thoroughly enjoyed riding with Engie, and he always said yes whenever he was asked to accompany the engineer.

They weren't moving quite yet, but the sight of the field was still quite riveting. "Hey, Mini," he asked, still looking out the window, "is Engie ready to go yet?"

"Not quite," replied Mini, who also loved getting to ride the train; unlike Wind, he was a bit of a thrill seeker. He turned backwards in his seat to look at Duo. "He's got to replace the coals in the furnace."

"Oh," said Duo. He stood up, walking to the front of the train where the furnace was located. "Engie! You need any help with that?"

Engie peered through the doorway, his face dirtied with soot, and grinned. "No, I've got it. You can come in anyway, though; I'll let you see me fire it up!"

"Okay!" Duo walked into the boiler room, where Engie was diligently filling the furnace with coal. Despite his small stature, he was able to shovel in pounds of the stuff with hardly a sweat! Duo was impressed. "You really know what you're doing," he said with a smile.

"Well," said Engie with a small laugh, "I've only done it my whole life!" He dumped the last bit of coal inside and wiped his brow. "Okay, now we just need to light 'er up, and - "

"Oh! Oh! Can I do it?" asked Duo, pulling out a small bag from inside his pouch. "I've got my ember seeds with me, they'll do the trick!"

"Sure, go ahead," the engineer said as he walked over to the controls. "I'll switch it on while you do that."

Duo nodded and pulled out what he thought was two ember seeds, tossing them into the furnace without much thought. Mere milliseconds before it ignited, however, he noticed he had made a terrible mistake.

He gulped. "Uh, Engie? I don't think you should start - "

The sound of creaking metal and rushing steam filled the train before Duo could stop him. Then the train began to move. Well, to say it _moved_ would be an understatement - it began to whiz down the tracks at an impossible speed, sending all three Heroes tumbling to the back of the passenger car.

"Duo!" cried Engie, "What the hell did you _do_!?"

"I didn't mean to!" yelled Duo pathetically, "A pegasus seed got in there by accident! I'm sorry...!"

Mini, however, simply started laughing and gabbed on to the back of the nearest seat. "You're _sorry_!? Ha ha! This is the most fun I've had in _centuries_!"

His laughter almost drowned out the screams of terror emitted by the other two as they continued barreling down the train tracks.

"And so I told him no way," said Wind, who took another bite of his sandwich, "I've _had it _with trains. If he wants to take people on a ride, he can ask someone else!"

Sky chuckled sheepishly. "Oh, I don't think they're _that_ bad, Wind. How come you hate them so much?"

Wind scowled. "It's because they're unsafe! They go way too - "

_**Woosh!**_ The runaway train crossed the tracks that were mere yards away from where Wind and Sky were having their lunch. Wind went white at the sight, dropping his sandwich in shock.

"...fast..."

Sky watched the train disappear into the horizon, then turned back to his successor, his eyes wide. "...Yeah. Yeah, I think I see your point."


	45. Four Pillows Adventures

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Four Pillows Adventures**_

The Heroes knew combat like the back of their hand; when fighting was the only option, they would all gladly rise to the challenge, for the need to survive, protect, and conquer had been etched into their very souls. That was why they proudly walked into battle, their weapons held high... even when those weapons were actually pillows.

Red did a back-flip off of the couch's arm, skillfully dodging an instrument of white, fluffy death. "Missed me, Vio!" he laughed, sticking his tongue out at his opponent when he landed.

Vio smirked. "You're good, Red." He leapt off of the couch and approached the other Link in an attempt to back him into a corner. "But I'm the _smart_ one, remember?"

When his backside hit the corner of the room, he startled and turned his head. "No!" cried Red, "I've been cornered! Blue, _help_!"

"Blue can't save you now!" Vio swung the pillow again, and it smacked Red right in the side. With a sound that was half a yell and half a giggle, Red clutched his "wound" and fell dramatically to the ground.

"I've been hit!" he announced, "Blue... go on without me...!"

Blue, who was attempting to hit Green with his own pillow, cursed to himself. "I'll tell your next of kin that you died a hero," he said sarcastically as he continued swinging at his foe.

"But Blue," chuckled Red, "you _are_ my next of kin!"

Green laughed, skillfully sidestepping Blue's attacks. "So are me and Vio!" He lifted his pillow to block Blue's. "Okay, Blue, you're next! Don't think you can stand a chance against - "

He was interrupted by a very real and very sharp arrow entering an open window, piercing his pillow, whizzing past his shoulder, and embedding itself into the wall behind them. The pillow-wielding warriors froze in place, staring at the arrow in shock. After a moment of stunned silence, Green went over and pulled it out of the wall. There was a piece of paper tied to it, which he opened up and read.

"It's Mini's handwriting," he said, "and I think we made him mad."

Blue glanced over his shoulder. "'Shut up, some of us are trying to sleep'!?" He scoffed. "He doesn't even _need_ sleep, he's _dead_!"

"I didn't know we were being _that_ loud!" said Red, sitting up. "We should keep it down so Mini can sleep."

"I agree," said Vio. "The next time, it may be a _bomb_ he tosses through the window instead of an arrow."

Green gulped. "Good point. H-Hey, I've still got that deck of cards... we could do that instead."

The other personas agreed and halted their pillow fight. For now, anyway.


	46. Wait Until You See Their Fanfiction

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Wait Until You See The Fanfiction They Wrote**_

Twilight grunted as he pushed his bookshelf back into its rightful position, having just dusted and swept the area behind it. When he finished, he wiped his brow on a rolled up sleeve before sighing with a grin.

"I hate spring cleaning," he mused, "always wears me out."

Time, who was wiping down one of the end tables in the room, laughed. "You manage to tame goats with your bare hands just fine," he said, "how can a little bit of cleaning wear you out?"

"That's completely different," said Twilight, leaning against the bookshelf and yawning. "Herding the goats isn't _boring_." He stretched his arms. "Thanks again for helping me out, Time. I appreciate it."

Time shrugged. "What's family for?" He finished his wiping and walked over to Twilight's closet, opening it. "Now let's get this closet cleared out and - "

He was interrupted by several small items tumbling out of the closet and landing by his feet. Normally, this wouldn't have surprised him - closets had a tendency to get quite cluttered, after all - except these items seemed, well, _cuter_ than the kind of things Twilight usually had. There were boxes tied with pink and red ribbons, envelopes sealed with heart stickers, boxes of candies and chocolates, and - was that a teddy bear? At the sight of these odd trinkets, Time knelt down and inspected them, furrowing his brow in intense thought.

"...Time?" Twilight walked over to him. "Time, what's the matter?"

The Hero of Time turned the small teddy bear over in his hands. "Twilight," he said, "who is she?"

"'She'? What are you talking about...?"

"These!" He scooped off a few more of the items and showed them to his protégé. "Who gave them to you? What's her name? Why didn't you _tell me_ about her!?"

"What!?" Twilight started and turned bright red. "I-It's not... those aren't - "

"Don't give me that!" Time stood and gave the younger Hero a scowl. "If you're having some sort of secret, torrid _love affair_, I - "

"_It's not an affair_!"

"Then what is it!?"

Twilight groaned, slapping a palm to his forehead. "Okay, there are these girls - "

"_There's more than one_!?"

"_No_, dammit, listen to me! They're not _girlfriends_, they're - " he sighed again, " - I guess you could say they're my fan club. They started fawning over me back when I was alive, and, well... they never really stopped."

Time's face softened at the explanation. Yes, he did recall a group of highly enthusiastic... _fangirls_ who followed the boy around Castle Town. He sighed, relieved that there was, in fact, no secret affair going on, and looked back at the presents. "Well, you don't seem like you appreciate these very much if you keep them in your closet."

"That's the thing, though! You know I'm not a chocolate and teddy bears kind of guy." He took one of the unopened letters and frowned sadly. "And these letters just embarrass me. But I can't just throw them away, you know?"

"Because you appreciate their feelings."

"Yeah. That."

Time laughed softly. "Ah, well, what can you do?" He began gathering up the gifts in his arms. "Come on, let's find a place we can put these."

Twilight crossed his arms. "You sure sound like you know a lot about this sort of thing, Time."

"I do," said Time with a grin and a wink. "You think I didn't have to deal with adoring fans when I was alive? It's part of the curse of looking as good as we do."

"Now you're just being conceited!" Twilight took the trinkets from his teacher and began looking for a place to put them.


	47. Time To BOW Out Gracefully

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Time To BOW Out Gracefully**_

Brown's eyes widened in shock. "Seriously? You've never used a bow!?"

Duo sulked and nodded. "Yeah… I never got the chance to use one. I had a slingshot, but that was about it."

"But I thought bows were a staple for us!" The newer Hero held out his bow and looked at it as he spoke. "Like bombs and swords!"

"I know, I know," said Duo with a sigh, "I'm the weird one, aren't I? Even when I got back to Hyrule I never learned to use one. It's kind of embarrassing."

Brown put his hands on his hips and leaned towards his predecessor. "Well, we've got all of eternity here - I guess now's as good a time to teach you as any."

"Huh? You'll teach me, Brown?"

"Of course!" He grinned and pulled an arrow from his quiver. "You guys are always teaching me stuff since I'm the new guy, but now I'll finally get to teach _you_ something!" He nocked his arrow. "First, you get your arrow ready, like this. Then, you draw the string and aim." He pulled back the bowstring, closing one eye and aiming carefully at one of the many targets that had been lined up against a fence. "Then, you let it fly!" He let the arrow go, allowing it to strike a perfect bull's eye on the target. He turned back and gave Duo a thumbs up. "…And that's how you do it!"

Duo gasped happily and applauded. "That was great! Can I try?"

"Sure. Here you go." He handed his friend the bow and a new arrow. "Remember, you'll need to pull back on the string _hard_, or your arrow won't go anywhere."

"Okay!" Duo managed to successfully nock the arrow, but when it came time to draw the string and aim, his arms began to wobble. "W-Woah… this is a lot harder than using a slingshot!"

Brown laughed. "Easy, Duo! You'll get the hang of it soon. Try firing it now."

The elder Hero nodded and focused on the target in front of him, narrowing his eyes and aiming it the best he could. When he fired, however, the arrow lodged itself in the ground only halfway to the target rather anticlimactically. He looked at it with a look of astonished disappointment while Brown tried his best not to laugh.

"Man… that's pretty pathetic," whined Duo.

"No, no! It's okay!" snickered Brown. "You just need to practice — "

"_Haaaaaaaaaaa_!"

He was interrupted by a familiar roaring battle cry and the sound of galloping hooves. The two Heroes looked to their left to see Twilight quickly approaching them on Epona, firing arrows from his crossbow at a lightning fast speed, hitting bull's eyes on each and every target he rode past. With a yelp, Brown and Duo leapt out of the way, just in time to watch the older Link split the arrow Brown had fired in half with one of his own. They stood in slack-jawed silence for a moment as Twilight passed them by before Duo cried out in amazement.

"Wow! Twilight is so _cool_!" he exclaimed. "I wanna learn to use a _crossbow_ instead!"

Brown glared at his starry-eyed companion. "Oh, come _on_, Duo, don't be stupid — "

But Duo had already started running off in the direction Twilight was going. "Wait, Twilight!" he cried, "I wanna do crossbow training too…!"

With a look of jealousy and disgust, Brown scoffed and threw his weapon to the ground. "Stupid Twilight and his damn crossbow," he muttered, "what a show-off!"


	48. You'll Give Grandpa A Heart Attack!

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**You're Going To Give Grandpa A Heart Attack!**_

The first few weeks after Time's arrival in the afterlife were tumultuous, to say the least. It wasn't that he didn't like being there - on the contrary, it was a more than welcome change of scenery after some two-hundred years of existing as a lonely phantom. He was ecstatic to finally see his friends again, to meet his family for the first time, and to live out the rest of eternity in peace. No, he wasn't upset over his new life in the least.

He was just worried about his successor. _Extremely_ worried. _So_ worried, in fact, that he would spend countless hours huddled over his lens into the world of the living - a series of magical books that could show the Heroes anything in Hyrule they wanted to see - watching the boy's every move as he made the last leg of his journey. Sometimes he'd find himself so high-strung that he'd even try to calm himself with a bottle of Chateau Romani - or two - or three - and it was at this point that his own predecessor, Sky, decided to step in.

Sky freely entered the new Hero's home - no one ever needed to lock their doors here, after all - and looked around. He peered into the kitchen and smiled sadly when he saw Time, flushed from drink and half laying on the table, muttering to himself as he intently watched whatever was going on in the book.

"Goddesses dammit all," said the inebriated Hero of Time, "you use the Mortal Draw when you're _behind_ them!" He hiccupped. "Did you not listen to a single thing I taught you!?"

Sky approached him and reached over, shutting the book and earning a glare from Time.

"Sky!" he whined, "What the hell was that for!?"

The elder Hero replied with a sigh, removing the book and the empty bottles of Chateau Romani from the table. "You're going to worry yourself sick," he said gently. "Do you really want to spend your time here being miserable?"

"But... but..." Time gritted his teeth, tears beading at the corners of his eyes. "...But he's my student! He's my grandson!"

"Distant grandson."

"_Still_! I just..." he sniffled and buried his face in his arms. "...I don't want him to get killed. H-He's only sixteen! He doesn't deserve to - "

Sky placed his hands on Time's shoulders and began to rub them. "There, there. Don't think about that, Time. He'll be _fine_, I promise."

Time lifted his head. "B-But... but what if he isn't prepared enough?"

"He will be."

"What if he breaks his ankle or something?"

"He won't."

"What if he drinks the wrong kind of chu jelly and _dies_!?"

"He _won't_, Time. He _won't_." He grinned sheepishly. "You can't keep thinking about 'what if' this and 'what if' that. You'll go nuts. Now, I want you to take a deep breath and hold it."

Time did as he was told - he inhaled sharply and held it. After a short moment, Sky spoke again.

"Now let it out."

But instead of exhaling, Time simply began to shake, his tears finally beginning to overflow.

"...Time?"

He let out a loud, drunken wail and spun around, clinging to Sky's clothes and sobbing incoherently into his chest. Surprised at the usually proud and composed Hero of Time's sudden explosion of emotion, Sky wrapped his arms around him and patted his head.

"...Or you could do that," he said. "Crying helps, too."

"_Waaaaaaah_!_ My protegeeeeeee_...!"


	49. A Lesson In Hyrulian Economics

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**A Lesson In Hyrulian Economics**_

The Hero of Winds inspected the ancient gold piece carefully, turning it over in his small hand and furrowing his brow. "That's definitely the seal of Ancient Hyrule," he said, "but I have no idea what these could have been used for… Engie, where did you find these?"

"In a chest full of junk. Probably came with me when I died." Engie frowned. "I always wondered what these things were - I thought maybe you'd know, since you went to the old kingdom and all."

"Your guess is as good as mine." Wind traced the Triforce symbol on the coin with his finger, then saw something that caught his attention - ancient Hylian lettering. "Hey, there's something written here!"

"Really? What's it say?"

"I can't read it - it's in Old Hylian, from before the flood."

"Too bad," said Engie, "I bet it says something cool. Maybe it's a magic spell!"

Wind beamed. "Yeah, like those medallions Light found!" He clenched the coin in his fist. "Let's see if Time or Mini can tell us what it says!"

Right on cue, Mini came walking from around the corner, munching on a donut. When the younger two Heroes saw him, they waved him over.

"Hey! Mini!" cried Engie, "We need your help!"

Mini's ears perked at the sound of his nickname, and he walked over to them. "What's the matter, guys?" he asked between bites of his donut.

"Can you read this?" asked Wind, handing the gold piece to their predecessor. "We think it's some kind of magic spell or something!"

"I'll take a look." Mini inspected the coin carefully. Then, after a moment, he began to snicker.

Engie cocked an eyebrow. "Well? What does it say?"

"'Property of the Hyrulian Royal Treasury'," he answered with an amused grin. "It's not magic, it's money."

"Money?" Wind frowned in disbelief. "Money doesn't look like that! Rupees are money!"

"Well," began Mini, "there was a time just before the Great Flood where Hyrule tried to switch to a gold standard currency."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It didn't last very long, though. Gold was too rare and rupees were just more convenient, so they switched back."

Engie tilted his head. "So this is what they used instead of rupees?"

Mini handed the coin back to him. "Pretty much, yeah."

"Man, what a letdown!" pouted the engineer, "I thought it really was a magic spell…"

"The truth is never as exciting as your imagination," replied Mini, shrugging.

Wind sighed. "I'll say. We don't even need money anymore! We're _dead_!"

"It'll make for a cool paperweight," joked Mini.

Engie pocketed the "paperweight". "I _guess_ it would…"


	50. Girls Girls Girls Girls Girls!

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Girls Girls Girls Girls Girls!**_

"So what kind of girls does everyone like?"

All the other Heroes turned their head towards the one asking the question. Unsurprisingly, it was Brown, who always had _some_ kind of conversation-starter to throw in when things got quiet. Light half-smirked, laid his elbows on the picnic table he was sitting up, and snorted.

"What is up with you and questions like this, Brown?"

Brown shrugged. "I just get curious a lot, that's all!"

"I'll say."

"I don't mind," chimed in Green from the other end of the table. "I'm always ready to talk about girls!"

Mini side-eyed Green. "You sound like a pervert when you say it like that."

"I'm not a pervert! I'm just honest," he replied with a wry grin.

Sky laughed bashfully, scratching his cheek. "Well… I guess I don't mind answering that," he said. He rested his head in one of his hands and thought for a moment. "Let's see, what kind of girls do I like… This'll sound a little silly, but I like someone who doesn't mind taking care of me, you know?" He chuckled. "I just like getting pampered, especially by a cute girl."

Time crossed his arms. "That's not just you being your lazy self, is it, Sky?"

"No! …Um, okay, maybe a little." The eldest Hero turned pink. "But everybody likes getting to fall asleep in the lap of a beautiful woman, right?"

With a laugh, Twilight interrupted. "You _would_ think falling asleep was romantic," he said. He pointed a thumb to himself. "I've always liked women who could take care of themselves; who didn't expect you to do all the work just because you're a man."

Wind nodded in agreement. "Yeah! Me too!"

"I mean, girls who are all clingy and dependent get boring real fast, you know?" continued Twilight, "It's a lot more fun being with somebody who's confident and independent."

"That explains a lot about your choices in women," said Engie with a snicker. "I mean, come on, Ilia, Princess Zelda, Tetra, Midna…"

Wind and Twilight looked at each other, then let out an embarrassed chuckle, knowing that Engie had a point.

"I'm not _that_ picky," said Time, lacing his fingers behind his head, "but I've always had a thing for girls with long hair. I just think it's really pretty."

"No way!" cried Brown, balling his hand into a fist. "Girls with short hair are the best!"

Time laughed. "Clearly you've never run your hand's through a lovely lady's flowing locks," he said with a wink.

"So? Short hair is cuter!"

"I don't mind whatever length it is," said Duo with a slightly raised hand, "but I always thought that red hair was the prettiest."

"Yeah! Redheads are gorgeous!" exclaimed Light with an intense sparkle in his eyes.

Engie spoke again. "I don't care what their hair is like - if they're a tomboy, they're automatically cute in my book!"

"Funny," said Mini with a shrug, "I was always the exact opposite. I always thought that the girlier girls were the cutest."

Meanwhile, Green was simply sitting in his seat with his eyes closed and a goofy smile on his face, quietly listening to what his fellow Heroes had to say. All eyes turned to him when it was his turn to speak, but he remained silent.

"…Uh, Green?" said Brown, "It's your turn."

"Yeah, weren't you the one most excited to talk about this?" asked Light with a raised eyebrow.

Finally, Green opened his eyes and grinned. "I'm not gonna lie," he said, "I like _every_ girl."

"_Every_ girl?" Wind asked.

"That's right, _every_ girl!" Green stood in his seat and placed one foot on the table. "Pampering girls! Independent girls! Girls with long hair, girls with short hair, redheads, tomboys, and girly-girls!" He raised a fist high in the air triumphantly. "Blondes! Brunettes! Short girls! Tall girls! Skinny girls and chubby girls! It doesn't matter to me - I love them all…!"

The other Links stared incredulously at him. Then, Sky smiled.

"So in other words," he said, "you see what's in their hearts, right?"

Green thought about this for a moment. "Er… yeah! Yeah, that's it. It's what's on the inside that counts, right guys!?"

The rest nodded in agreement, while Green didn't have the heart to tell them that he hadn't thought that deeply about his reasons. After all, he just really liked girls.


	51. Capture That Flag! Part 1

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Capture That Flag! (Part 1)**_

**Thanks a ton for supporting 50 HVS stories!**

They say a bit of friendly competition is good for the soul, and no one knew this better than the Heroes of Legend, who regularly put their heads together to come up with fantastic and exciting games and adventures to pass the time. These competitions started out small, but as each new Link was added to the ever-growing chain, they grew into grand events spanning the entirety of their realm. They would engage in relatively harmless ventures, like scavenger hunts or riddle quests, as well as more risky activities such as jousting tournaments, bombchu bowling, and even skydiving. Today, however, all ten (thirteen including Green's alternates) had gathered in the middle of the realm to organize a daring and death-defying game of...

"Capture the flag?" asked Duo curiously. "I've never heard of that..."

"You've never heard of capture the flag!?" cried Green in disbelief. He turned to Vio. "Vio, wanna fill everybody in on the rules?"

Vio smiled. "Of course." He calmly flipped the pages on his clipboard and read from the top page. "The object of the game is for two teams, each of whom is guarding a flag, to capture the other team's flag and bring it back to their territory. The first team to accomplish this wins the game."

"Sounds simple enough to me," said Engie from his seat on the ground.

"There's more. In addition to the team's flag, each player will have a tag - a small cloth tucked into their belts. If a player on the opposite team takes that tag, the player whose tag was taken is out of the game."

Time nodded. "So, technically, you could also win by taking the tags from every player on the other team," he said with a smile. "Sounds like fun!"

"So," added Wind, "this is just a hands-only kind of game? No weapons or items?"

"Oh no," said Vio, looking up at the others with a small smirk, "we'll be using weapons and items."

Behind him, Blue laughed and pumped a fist into the air. "Yes! _Now _we're talking!"

Vio turned and gave his other a look. "_But_," he said, "you're limited to one sword, one shield, and _only_ the items you gained on your journeys during life." He pointed at Light. "For example, _you_ can only use _your _boomerang. You can't use, say, Twilight's."

Light frowned, a little offended. "How come you used me as an example...?"

"I wouldn't share my boomerang with you anyway," teased Twilight with a wry grin.

"That's not very nice!" protested Duo.

Sky interrupted them with a raised hand. "What about animals? Can I use my loftwing?"

Vio shook his head. "Sorry, no animals. Not everyone has one, so it wouldn't be fair to those of us who don't."

Time and Twilight grimaced in disappointment, while Duo simply sulked sadly. Sky scratched his head. "Well, it was worth asking, I guess."

"So," said Brown, his hands on his hips and an eager look on his face, "who's going to be on which team? Do we just pick ourselves?"

"Nope! Vio's the referee," chimed in Red, "so he's going to pick for us!"

Mini turned to Green. "Why Vio, though?"

Green shrugged. "There's an odd number of us, and he offered." He took a quick glance at Vio's clipboard and whistle and snickered. "Besides, I think he kind of enjoys the power rush, you know?"

"All right!" called Vio, extending his left hand to his side, "Everyone on Team Eldin stand over here! Time, Twilight, Duo, Mini, Wind, and Green!"

Time laughed and smacked his protégé on the back as they moved to their side. "Haha! Hear that, Twilight? We're on the same team!"

"O-Oh boy," muttered Twilight, unsure of what to think of this situation.

Green turned back to his personas. "Vio... how come you didn't stick me with Red and Blue? I thought we were supposed to stick together!"

"It's okay, Green!" said Mini as he grabbed Green's wrist, "Between you and me, we'll be better than either of them!"

Blue stuck his tongue out at Mini before Vio shoved him and Red over to the right.

"And everybody else," he said, "is on Team Lanayru. That's Light, Engie, Sky, Brown, Red, and Blue!"

Light beamed. "All right, we get Sky!" He held out his hand for a high five, to which Sky reacted with a bit of embarrassment.

"Eh?"

"That's right, you're the most experienced out of all of us!" Brown held up his hand as well. "With you on our team, we'll be unbeatable!"

Sky laughed sheepishly and returned the high fives. "Okay, then, I won't let you guys down!"

"_Yaaaaaay_!" cried Red as he latched on tightly to Blue, "I get to be on Blue's team! Promise we'll stay together, pleeeeease?"

"Get _off_," Blue growled as he tried to shove him away, "or I'll leave you in a ditch somewhere!"

"You wouldn't do something like that!"

"Just try me!"

Once everyone had migrated to either side of Vio, he checked the numbers on each team and nodded in approval. Then, he reached in his pouch and pulled out six red bandanas. Walking over to Team Eldin, he tucked each piece of cloth into each Link's belt, then repeated the process to Team Lanayru with six yellow bandanas.

"There," he said when he finished. "Now, Team Lanayru's flag is located ten miles to the east of here in a small valley, and Team Eldin's flag is ten miles to the west, on a hill. You all get one hour to strategize and prepare; I'll set off a signal flare when the game begins. Does everyone understand?"

All of the Links nodded.

"All right then, one hour starting - " Vio pulled out an hourglass from his pouch - indeed, he had come completely prepared for this job! - and turned it, " - now."

Each team rushed off in their separate directions, already clamoring amongst themselves how they were going to best play this game.

* * *

><p>"All right, guys," said Time, tapping his recently-completed diagram of the playing field with his finger as he squatted on the grass with his teammates. "The best offense is a good defense, so I propose that we focus our numbers on defending our flag."<p>

Green cocked an eyebrow, confused. "Yeah, okay, I get that - but if we focus too much on defending our flag, we'll never get the other team's!"

"But remember," said Wind, "we don't have to actually capture their flag to win. If we stay put and let them come to _us_, we can take their tags."

Time nodded. "Precisely. If they send over all of their players, we could theoretically win without stepping foot into enemy territory!"

"_If_they send everyone over," said Twilight with a hand on his chin. "There's no guarantee that they will."

"Twilight's right," said Mini, "if they even leave one of their guys behind, it'd be a stalemate."

Duo raised his hand. "How about we send just a few of us over, then? That way, we'll have a way to weed out whoever doesn't come to us."

"...All right, that sounds good." Time pointed to the area on the drawing where their flag was represented. "We'll stagger our defense - two of you will wait in the forest and ambush anyone who passes through, and Twilight and I will guard the flag directly. Anyone who slips through the forest will have to answer to us!"

"I can do the ambush!" said Duo.

"Me too!" Green gave a confident wink. "Me and the others, we used to ambush our enemies all the time - there's nobody better at ambushes than me!"

"And that leaves Wind and Mini on the offense," mused Twilight.

Mini nodded, then turned to Wind. "Hey, Wind, come here - I have an idea for a shortcut we can take!"

"Hmm?" Wind leaned closer to his predecessor, who whispered something in his ear.

"Uh, guys?" said Time, "I thought _I _was the strategist here... aren't you going to share your plan with me?"

"Shush," said Mini with a grin, "it's a _surprise_. Trust me, you'll see!"

Twilight snickered at Time's pouty reaction to being snubbed. Time, in response, stood and pulled his pupil up by the collar, dragging him away towards the mound where Team Eldin's flag stood.

"That's enough out of you," he said, irritated, "let's go warm up! Ten laps around the hill, Twilight!"

"W-What!? But I - !"

"Time's such a good role model," said Duo sweetly. "No wonder Twilight turned out to be so strong!"

The other Links simply looked at each other and chuckled.

* * *

><p>"So," said Light, twirling his sword in his hand, "Engie and I are guarding the flag?"<p>

Sky nodded. "You guys seemed like the best choice - I have a feeling the two of you will be the most alert."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Blue with a slight scowl.

"No offense," answered Brown, who stretched his arms up and yawned, "but you get into too many arguments to pay close attention. As for the rest of us, Sky and I are better suited for offense, and Red is - " he turned to Red, who was sitting on the ground and making a daisy chain, " - well, Red is Red."

"Well, then, if you and Sky are gonna be the offense, where does that leave me and Red?"

"You guys will be the secondary offense." Sky held up two fingers. "See, there are two ways to get to the other team's flag - the obvious route, through the forest, and another one over the lake. We'll enter from both sides and overwhelm their defenses!"

"Good idea," said Engie with a nod. "So, who's taking which route?"

"I've got a raft," Brown said, "so Sky and I will go over the lake."

"And Red and Blue will take the forest path," said Sky. "Hey, Red! Did you get all that?"

Red looked up from his flowery craft and smiled. "Huh? Oh! Yes, I got it!" He turned to Blue. "Did you hear that, Blue? We'll get to work together! Isn't that great?"

Blue slapped both palms to his face and groaned. "Kill me," he muttered, "again."

Light laughed. "Oh, come on, don't be like that! You guys work great together!"

"Only when he's not being an annoying airhead!"

"_Bluuuuuue_!" whined Red with a pout.

Engie gave a small chuckle and put his hands on his hips. "Well, I guess that settles it, then! Light and I on defense, Sky and Brown on primary offense, and Red and Blue on secondary offense." He looked up. "I wonder when Vio's gonna - "

A loud crack in the sky startled the Heroes. They all turned to see a bright red flare shoot through the clear blue, leaving a smoky trail in its wake.

"Ah, there it is!" said Brown. He adjusted his hat and cracked his knuckles. "All right, guys, let's show Team Eldin what we're made of!"

At that, he and Sky rushed off to the northwest, while Blue dragged Red away to the southwest. Light and Engie stayed behind, readying themselves for any enemy who would dare enter their line of sight.

The Heroes' game of capture the flag had begun.


	52. Capture That Flag! Part 2

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Capture That Flag! (Part 2)**_

Wind placed the tip of his finger in his mouth before closing his eyes and holding it up in the air. With the Wind Waker sparkling brightly in his other hand, he grinned and opened his eyes again. "We're good," he said, turning back to Mini.

"Great!" The elder Hero removed his cap and aired it out. "You got your deku leaf ready?"

"Got it!" He whipped out the leaf from his pouch before glancing over the edge of the cliff they were standing on. "Now we just hope that the breeze is strong enough to take us all the way across the lake..."

"You're the one in control of the wind," said Mini, "so it'll be your fault if it doesn't." Wind gulped nervously, causing Mini to laugh out loud. "I'm just kidding!"

The nervous Link sighed and faced the cliff's edge. The view was dizzying; from here, the lake looked barely larger than a small pond. If they were able to cross it this way, by flying over it with the help of the wind, they would be in enemy territory before anyone expected them to be! Regaining his confidence, he readied his magic leaf.

"Okay," he said, "Here goes!" He leapt off of the edge and raised the leaf, catching the gale and riding it towards the east. Mini followed suit, his cap puffing up as he joined his comrade in the air. He laughed once he caught up to Wind.

"Wow," he said between chuckles, "I forgot how much fun this was!" He leaned forward to accelerate.

Wind cried out. "Mini, you're gonna lose altitude if you do that!"

Mini slowed himself down. "I know, I know." He looked down at the water below with a devilish grin. "Now let's show Team Lanayru how to make an entrance...!"

* * *

><p>"Blue!" cried Red, brushing away foliage with one hand and catching up to his friend, "Blue! Look! Look what I found!"<p>

Blue rolled his eyes and groaned, turning around. "_What_, Red?"

"I found a ladybug!" Red unfolded his other hand to show him. "See?"

"Seriously?" Asked Blue with a glare. Stopping in his tracks, he snatched the ladybug from the other's palm and tossed it into the bushes.

"Blue!" screeched Red. He stared at him with his mouth agape and tears forming in his eyes. "Blue, that was so mean!"

"And I'll do it to _you_ too if you don't stop clowning around!"

"Stop it, Blue!" The sniffling Hero wiped his face with his sleeve. "I-I just wanted to show it to you, that's all!"

"What you're doing is wasting our time!" Blue stormed ahead, his face locked in a perpetual scowl. "The longer you goof off, the more time Team Eldin has to win! I swear, you're so _useless_!"

"_Useless_!?" Red froze. "But... but..."

The angrier persona kept walking, and a short moment passed before Red spoke up again, his voice soft and tearful.

"...Do you really think that?"

Blue stopped in his tracks at that. Red was crying again - a sound which signaled to Blue that, perhaps, he had gone too far. He blushed at his own mistake, marched back over to Red, and slapped a hand on the top of his head it what could vaguely be considered a gesture of comfort.

"O-Of course I don't mean it," he stammered, "I never mean it."

Red's eyes began to shimmer. "Blue...!"

"You're not useless - but only when you pay attention!" He huffed and started walking again. "Keep up, Red, or I'll leave you behind!"

The other Link nodded energetically. "Okay!" He raced to catch up with Blue. "Thanks, Blue. You're a great friend!"

Blue grunted, his face growing more and more flushed. "You're just way to damn happy," he muttered to himself.

* * *

><p>Twilight wheezed, his face dripping with sweat as he lay limply on the grass by the flag. He turned his head to his right, looking at his teacher, who was casually practicing his sword swings. His form was perfect, his strikes precise, and he was all around flawless in every way. And the worst part was that he wasn't even breaking a sweat!<p>

He scoffed, facing the sky again. "Why is it," he said between breaths, "that you always work me harder than you ever work yourself, Time?"

"Because," said Time, accentuating the word with a perfect forward thrust, "you were being disrespectful."

"I don't mean - " the younger Hero pouted and turned his head once more. "I mean, not just right now; you do it every time we train! I'm the one having to do most of the work - the running and the jumping jacks and the pushups - while you just do _that_!"

Time froze in place, sheathed his blade, and walked over to Twilight. Then, with a smile that could have been interpreted as either warm or condescending, he sat by Twilight and pulled one knee up.

"Twilight," he said, "let me tell you a story about when I joined the Knights."

Twilight rolled his eyes.

"When I first enlisted, I thought I knew it all. I thought my journeys through Hyrule and Termina had taught me all I ever needed to know about swordsmanship." He looked up. "And it did teach me a lot. But then I realized that the first step of our basic training was just grunt work - running laps, doing exercise drills, cleaning the mess hall - things I thought I was above. But you know what?" He tilted his head towards Twilight. "The entire point of those exercises was to show me that I still had a long way to go - that I had years and years of work ahead of me before I could reach my full potential."

Twilight sat up, wiping his brow with his gloved hand. "So what you're saying is," he said more calmly, "you think I still have a long way to go?"

"What I'm saying is that I have high expectations of you." He clasped a hand on Twilight head, messing with his hair a little. "I push you because I know you can get better and better, and I've known that ever since you got here."

The younger Link winced in embarrassment. "So," he said, "when are you going to think I've 'reached my potential'? What point will that be?"

"Oh," said Time with a smirk, "probably never. Even when you become better than me, I'll still keep pushing you." He lowered his hand. "Because you're family, and I want to see you keep growing."

Twilight considered this for a moment, then laughed. "So I have an eternity of laps and pushups to look forward to, huh?"

"Pretty much."

"Gee, _thanks_," he replied with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Such grateful descendents I have." Time stood up. "Take a breather real quick - we'll try to work on parrying before the other team gets here."

"Sure thing." With that, Twilight flopped back down on the grass with a deep sigh.

* * *

><p>Sky and Brown's rafting expedition started out exactly as planned - the breeze was westward, the water was calm, and together they were sailing smoothly over the lake and towards Team Eldin's territory. That, however, didn't last for very long.<p>

Brown grunted as he helped propel the raft forward, using his shield as a paddle. "Dammit all," he cursed, "at this rate we won't reach the other side until nightfall...!"

"Yeah," said Sky, who was also paddling with his shield, trying to fight the breeze which now blew east, "and my arms are already getting tired! It's like the wind knew were coming and just wanted to mess with us!"

"Just our luck." The younger Link grimaced. Then, suddenly, he stopped paddling and looked up in thought. "Hold on... you know, Sky, we could just use the recorder. I mean, it isn't against the rules or anything..."

Sky turned. "No offense, Brown, but that thing isn't exactly the most reliable transportation method." He resumed paddling. "It just kind of drops you off wherever, right? We could wind up completely lost!"

"But we could also wind up right where we need to be! It's just trial and error!"

"But still - "

Suddenly, a strange movement in the sky caught the two Heroes' attention. They looked up, shielding the sunlight from their eyes, and Brown growled at what he saw.

"That son of a - I _knew_ it!" He put his hands to his mouth and called to the sky. "_Wind, you big cheater_!"

They thought they could hear the faintest bit of laughter as they watched Wind and Mini glide swiftly towards the east. Sky, with a look of irritation, glanced back at Brown.

"On second thought," he said, "let's try the recorder."

"Right." Brown pulled out the instrument from his pouch, played a small, familiar tune, and in no time a whirlwind came across the water to pick them both up.


	53. Capture That Flag! Part 3

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Capture That Flag! (Part 3)**_

"So, that thing fires magic seeds?"

"Uh-huh!" Duo sat up in his position on the tree branch and showed Green his seed shooter. "It's really handy. When the other team shows up, I can just shoot gale seeds at them from here!" He smiled brightly. "It'll disorient them, but it won't hurt them."

"And while they're down," added Green with a confident grin of his own, "I'll hop down and take their tags. They won't even know what hit 'em!"

"Yeah!" Duo turned the weapon in his hand. "I'll stay up here and back you up."

Green nodded. "Good idea. Knowing us Links, I'll probably need the help. We don't go down easily after all!"

Duo laughed, swinging his feet from his perch. "But that's a good thing, right? Hyrule needs stubborn Heroes!"

"I wouldn't exactly call you 'stubborn', Duo."

"Hey," he replied with a slight pout, "I can too be stubborn! When I need to be!"

"Stubbornly _polite_, maybe," teased Green.

"But — "

Green silenced him with a harsh "Shh" and outstretched hand. The two then turned their heads towards a faint crunching sound and two sets of voices. When he recognized who the voices belonged to, Green broke into a smirk.

"It's Red and Blue," he whispered. "This'll be fun…!"

Duo readied his weapon. "I'm ready when you are, Green."

"Wait for it…"

A moment later, Red and Blue came into view, with Blue stomping around angrily (as usual) and Red bounding about with a happy spring in his step (as usual). However, they were completely oblivious to the two Heroes above them, and Duo aimed his shooter carefully.

"Okay," said Green, "fire!"

_Pop_! A gale seed shot straight into Red's chest, blowing him into a nearby tree with an incredible amount of force. Although startled by his partner's scream, Blue managed to notice another seed headed straight towards him and jumped out of the way. He drew his sword.

"Dammit!" he cried, looking around for his assailant, "Where did that come from!?"

"_Bluuuuuuue_!"

Blue turned to see Red getting pinned down by Green, who had leapt down from the treetops and was trying to take his tag. Although Red was putting up quite the struggle, he was no match for Green's strength in his disoriented state. With a harsh battle cry, Blue charged over and delivered a swift kick to Green's side, knocking him off of Red.

Red shook his head and sat up. "Thanks, Blue!" He hopped to his feet and drew his sword, grinning at Green. "Give up, Green - it's two against one, you'll never beat us!"

Green simply crossed his arms, not even bothering with his own blade. "You guys sure about that?"

Suddenly, another gale seed slammed into Blue, throwing him against Red and knocking them both to the ground. Green then marched over, stomped on Blue's back, and reached down, yanking his yellow tag out of his belt.

"Aw, crap!" cursed Blue through gritted teeth. He turned to his teammate. "Red! Red, they got me! Run!"

Red stumbled back up, supporting himself on a tree trunk. "Huh?"

"_I said run_!"

Startled back to his senses, Red nodded and broke into a mad dash towards the west. Green dropped Blue's tag and looked up.

"He's getting away!" he cried, "Duo!"

From his perch, Duo reached into his seed satchel. "I got it! I got it!" He then loaded a piping hot ember seed into his weapon and fired it slightly ahead of Red, blocking his path with a sudden burst of flame.

Red screeched, grazing the fire slightly as he stumbled to a stop. He turned to see Green charging towards him, his sword raised high, and braced himself. That jerk had disqualified Blue - now it was time to return the favor!

When Green was close enough, Red hurdled over him, attacking his backside with a broad sword swing. Green ducked, his persona's blade just barely missing his hat, and countered. Red countered his counter with his shield, and the resulting clash disoriented Green just long enough for Red to swoop in and take his tag.

Green's eyes widened. "No way!"

"Yes!" Red cried happily, jumping up and down with the tag. "I've got it! I've avenged you, Blue!"

Duo's laugh interrupted his celebration as he landed at the base of the tree. "Actually, Red," he said between chuckles, "I'd check your belt if I were you."

"Eh?" Red looked down, only to find that his tag had been replaced with a faint bit of char and ash. He broke into a pathetic frown. "Oh, no! My tag!"

"It must have gotten burned off by the fire," said Green, who reached over and snatched his tag back, "so you were already out when you took mine!"

"But… but…!"

Duo patted Red on the head. "Don't worry, you did your best." He looked back at Blue. "You, too, Blue. Why don't you guys go back to the starting point and take a rest?"

Blue growled at the two winners as he marched over and took Red by the arm, dragging him away as Red sniffled and wiped his face. When they were out of earshot, Duo looked nervously back at Green.

"Did I say something?"

"Nah," said Green with a shrug, "those two are the sore loser parts of my personality. They'll get over it soon enough."

Duo scratched the back of his head. "If you say so…"

* * *

><p>Light yawned, pulling his hat over his eyes as he lay next to Team Lanayru's flag. He then made himself comfortable, crossing his arms behind his head and stretching his legs.<p>

"Hey, are you sure you should be sleeping, Light?"

He peeked out from under his hat at Engie, frowning. "Relax, Engie. They have to go twenty miles to get here. We have plenty of time." He shut his eyes again. "Besides, I'm at my best right after a good nap."

Engie raised an eyebrow. "Okay, if you say so." He sat down, looking up at the sky. Then, after a moment, he began to snicker.

Light turned his head. "What? What's so funny?"

"Nothing," he replied, shaking his head, "I was just thinking how ironic it would be if, right after we said that, the other team started attacking us — "

Engie screamed and recoiled when an arrow suddenly lodged itself into the ground inches away from his hand. At this, Light shot up and drew his sword. He glared at the younger Link.

"Nice going," he said, "you just _had_ to jinx us, didn't you - _waah_!"

He sidestepped another arrow. Then another, and another, until soon enough, both Heroes were trapped in an arrow-dodging dance. Finally, after about two dozen arrows littered the ground, the onslaught stopped, and Engie and Light peered up the side of the valley to see two nearly identical archers grinning triumphantly.

"No way," said Engie, "it's Wind and Mini! How'd they get here so fast!?"

"We'll tell you once you've handed over that flag!" called Wind, aiming another arrow towards them.

"You want our flag so badly, you can come down and get it yourselves!" cried Light just before he had to jump away from yet another arrow.

Mini laughed. "You're in no position to talk - you're like sitting ducks down there!" The two smaller Heroes ran around the rim of the valley, continuing to terrorize the other two with arrows.

After swatting away an arrow with his shield, Light gritted his teeth and reached into his pouch. "Engie," he said, "I think you'd better duck and cover."

"No, you _think_!?"

"I mean from _this_!" He pulled out a small gold medallion and held it high. "Bombos! Lend me your power!"

Suddenly, a series of explosions erupted all around them, filling the valley with smoke and flame. Wind screamed as the force of the blasts knocked him down, making him drop his weapon and sending him tumbling into the valley and right to the feet of Light and Engie. Once the chaos died down, leaving patches of smoldering grass and weeds, Wind regained his senses, only to see his two foes looming over him like wolves cornering their prey.

Engie grinned. "Wow, good idea, Light - guess all we had to do was smoke them out, huh?"

"Not so tough after all, huh, Wind?" Light reached for Wind's belt. "I'll be taking that tag of yours now — "

"_Iiiiiincomiiiiiiiiing_!"

Light was interrupted by a sharp, flying kick to the head, which knocked him out instantly. Engie turned to see Mini wearing the Roc's cape and smiling triumphantly.

"You two need to learn to watch your backs!" he laughed.

"Mini!" A panicked look appeared on Engie's face when he noticed that his partner was out cold. "Oh, _Spirits_, Mini, you knocked him out! I think he's bleeding…!"

"And _I_think I just got your tag," added Wind, who had stolen Engie's tag while he was distracted and was now dangling it in front of him.

"You — " Engie turned red and fumed. "You guys play dirty! Look what you did to Light!"

"Oh, he'll be fine." Mini walked to Light, turned him over, and removed his tag. "Nobody gets seriously hurt here, remember? He'll be up before you know it."

"Now," said Wind, walking over to the flag and plucking it from the ground nonchalantly, "don't we have a flag to bring back, Mini?"

"I couldn't have said it better myself, Wind!"

The two laughed as they waltzed away from the scene, causing Engie to grit his teeth in frustration. "Cheaters!" he cried, "Both of you!"

* * *

><p>"Okay, Twilight," said Time, wiping a bit of sweat from his brow, "let's try a jump strike now."<p>

Twilight grinned. "Sure thing." He got into position, planting his feet firmly on the ground and channeling energy into his blade with skill and confidence. Meanwhile, Time braced himself for the attack, holding out his shield. When he noticed Twilight's expression change and his sword lose power, however, he lowered it, cocking an eyebrow and tilting his head.

"Twilight?" he asked, "What's wrong?"

"Time," he replied, pointing behind his teacher, "you should probably get out of the way."

"Huh?" Time turned, yelping and jumping out of the way when he saw a twister barreling towards him. He then stared at the whirlwind in shock as it suddenly disappeared, dropping Brown and Sky unceremoniously on top of each other.

Sky groaned, clenching his eyes shut. "Ugh, I'm going to be sick…"

"Oh, come on, it's not _that _bad," chided Brown, who got off of his partner and dusted his tunic off. "Besides, we made it, didn't we? And it only took us thirteen tries!"

The elder Link opened an eye to see Team Eldin's flag, along with Time and Twilight staring at them. He shot up and placed his hand on the hilt of his sword. "It's Time and Twilight - Brown, get ready! This isn't going to be easy…!"

"That's right, it isn't!" Twilight smirked, pointing his sword at Sky. "You may be the first, Sky, but between Time and I, there's no way you're going to beat us!"

"Says you!" Instead of drawing his sword, Brown reached into his pouch and pulled out another weapon - his magic wand. "You may be better swordsmen, but I'm better with magic than either of you will ever be!"

"Ah, crap," Twilight turned to Time, "I forgot about that - I don't have anything to defend against magic!"

Time winked at his partner. "Relax, I've got this covered." He turned to Brown. "Why don't you come show me how good you really are, newbie?"

Brown fired a bright burst of energy towards Time, who ducked and allowed it to hit a tree behind him, setting its leaves on fire.

Twilight gulped. "He's gonna set the whole hill on fire at this rate!"

"Ha! He couldn't do that if he tried," taunted Time. He moved closer to Brown. "You'll have to do better than that, you know."

Gritting his teeth, the younger Hero took a few steps back and fired another magical beam. This time, however, Time was prepared - as soon as the energy was about to hit him, he took a swing of his sword, batting the magic right back at Brown. He barely had any time to react before he was struck with his own attack, pushing him onto the ground as his body convulsed and patches of his clothes burned.

Time took this opportunity to rush up to him and take his tag. "The number one defense against magic," he said, "is a well-polished sword." He crouched and grinned at Brown. "You should remember that for next time, Brown."

After getting a hold of himself, Brown snarled at the elder Hero. "Yeah, well, you can take your well-polished sword and — "

"Time! What are you doing!? Get over here!"

Time rushed over at the sound of Twilight's voice. Holding his shield in front of him, he charged at Sky, who was trying to back Twilight into a corner with a series of well-placed thrusts, and knocked him away. When the oldest Link managed to return to his feet, he smiled at the other two.

"This should be fun," he said surprisingly sincerely. "I've always wanted to spar with you two."

"You sure sound happy for someone who's outnumbered," said Time with a frown.

"Why shouldn't I be happy? This is a game, right? We're supposed to be having fun."

Twilight scoffed. "I bet he just thinks he can't lose." He sidestepped around his opponent. "So we'll just have to prove him wrong! _Hyaah_!"

He rolled to Sky's backside, attempting a back slice. Sky, however, calmly dodged the blow and countered with his shield. As Twilight tried desperately not to lose his balance and fall over, Time rushed in with a stab to Sky's legs. Once again, the elder Hero avoided the blow, backflipping over Time's sword and slicing at his arm, cutting into his clothing and causing him to hiss in pain. Sky returned his attention to Twilight, blocking the latter's attack with his blade and delivering a swift kick to his stomach. Time then grabbed the wheezing Link by the arm and pulled him away.

"Get it together!" he said with a glare. "Sky's more experienced than both of us - we'll have to really get serious if we want to beat him!"

"Get serious, eh?" Twilight coughed a little, then grinned. "All right. How about we do that thing we've been working on, then?"

Time blinked. "You mean - _that _thing?"

"Yeah, _that _thing." He tossed his shield aside and held out his right hand towards Time. "Let's show him what we can do together!"

With a nod, Time took his successor's hand, and together they began to channel energy into their blades. Sky stared at the two, confused, but nevertheless braced himself.

"Ready, Time?"

"Ready!"

"_**Double Great Spin!**_"

The two Heroes soon turned into a gigantic, raging whirlwind of steel and energy, barreling towards Sky. Despite his best efforts, the elder Hero could neither deflect nor avoid this massive onslaught, and he was sent flying into a tree, dropping his sword and shield in the process. When the attack was over and Time and Twilight regained their balance, they ran over to Sky. However, before they could take his tag, Sky held out a hand to stop them.

"What?" asked Time, "What is it?"

"Congratulations, you two," he replied, "that was pretty impressive." He smiled, pointing behind the two. "…But I'd check on your flag real quick if I were you."

The two looked back towards their flag - or rather, where their flag should have been, had it not gone missing. Stranger still, Brown was still in sight; neither he nor Sky had gotten a hold of the flag.

"Oh no," said Twilight, "it's gone…!"

Sky chuckled. "While you guys were busy with Brown," he said, "I sent out my beetle to take your flag. It should already be well on its way to the starting point!"

"You sneaky little — " Time turned to Twilight. "Twilight, we've got to stop that beetle!"

"Right!"

With that, the two took off in pursuit of the mechanical menace that had taken their flag. When they were out of earshot, Brown and Sky burst into laughter.

"Wahaha! I wouldn't have expected any less from you, Sky!"

Sky gave Brown a thumbs up. "You can't be a Hero without a little bit of cunning!" He stood up and gathered his gear. "Thanks for distracting them, by the way. Let's head back."

"Okay!" Brown took out his recorder, but Sky placed a hand on his before he could bring it to his lips.

"It's fine," he said, "we'll just take the raft."

* * *

><p>By the time Twilight and Time had nearly reached the starting point, the sun was already well on its way down towards the horizon. Thought they ran as quickly as their legs could take them, they still could not catch sight of the beetle or their flag. Discouraged, they slowed their pace, huffing and wheezing from all of their running.<p>

"Dammit all," swore Twilight, "all this way and no sign of that stupid beetle!"

"We may have to just admit defeat," said Time between huffs. "It's probably already back at the starting point - I'll hand it to Sky, that was pretty clever of him!"

Twilight groaned. "And we almost had him, too!" He then brushed away some foliage, and the two Links were in for a shock - nearly all the other Heroes, sans Brown and Sky, were already gathered at the starting point. What's more, Wind was carrying Team Lanayru's flag, and there was still no sign of Sky's beetle anywhere!

"Took you two long enough," said Mini with a laugh.

"Hi Time!" said Red enthusiastically with a wave. "Hi Twilight!"

"What are _you _so happy about?" asked Blue despondently, "They beat us."

"Wait," said Time, "we won? Really?"

"But the beetle had our — "

Suddenly, Sky and Brown emerged from the northwest pathway, with Sky carrying a smoking, sparking beetle in his arms with a pout.

"Geez, Sky," said Light when he noticed them, "what happened to that thing?"

"Guess it couldn't go as far as I thought," replied Sky with a sad smile. "It fell into the lake. Man, this is going to take forever to get fixed…!"

Twilight snickered. Then, his snicker turned into full blown laughter. "Ahahaha! Guess you didn't think your master plan all the way through, Honorable Predecessor…!"

Brown stomped on Twilight's toes in response to his mocking, causing him to wince in pain and grab his foot.

"Enough, you guys!" called Vio. "Now that everyone's back, the game is officially over. Team Eldin wins!"

Team Eldin (sans Twilight, who was still hopping around on one foot) cheered and congratulated one another. Meanwhile, members of Team Lanayru, either calmly or begrudgingly, congratulated the winning team.

"Good game, everyone!" said Duo cheerfully. He glanced at the setting sun, then got an idea. "Hey, how about we all grab a big dinner to celebrate?"

"To celebrate what? Us losing?" asked Blue, crossing his arms indignantly.

"Get over it, Blue," said Engie. "It's just a game. Besides, I'm hungry!"

"I say we all get steaks tonight!" suggested Green.

The others all agreed, and together, whether they were winners or losers that day, the Heroes headed home to celebrate the spirit of competition.


	54. In Ur House, Makin Ur Mess

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**In Ur House, Makin' Ur Mess**_

Wind sighed as he shut the door, tossed his sheathed sword to the side, and kicked off his boots. It had been a long day for the Hero of Winds, who had been out feeding his insatiable hunger for exploration and adventure, and now all he wanted was a nice, hot bath and a long nap.

After stretching his arms, he headed up the stairs, passing by the door to his room on his way to the bathroom. He stopped in his tracks, however, when he heard strange noises coming from his bedroom. Though in this peaceful afterlife he had very little to worry about in terms of intruders and thieves, the young Hero reached into his pouch and pulled out his bow, fitting it with an arrow as he backed against the wall. He frowned and took a deep breath before kicking the door open and aiming his weapon.

He nearly dropped it, however, when he noticed what was inside - hair. Animal hair, and _lots_ of it. It covered everything; the floor, the rug, the dresser drawer upon which numerous pictures of his family stood - but most of all, it covered his bed. And, speaking of the bed, that was where he found the source of the problem; a familiar grey wolf shaking his molted fur off of himself and onto the sheets.

Wind lowered his bow and turned bright red in anger. "_Twilight_!" he yelled, "Twilight, what the hell did you do to my room!?"

The wolf looked at the boy, his eyes sparkling in what could be called amusement as he cheerfully wagged his tail (which further covered the bed in fur).

"Don't give me that," said Wind through gritted teeth. "What makes you think you can come in here and shed all over my stuff, huh!?"

Twilight's laughter filled the room as he changed back into his human form, rolling over so that he was sitting on the edge of the mattress. "Well," he said with a cheeky grin, "for one, it's payback."

"Payback!? For what!?" Suddenly, a thought hit the younger Link, and he placed his hands on his hips in irritation. "Oh, come on, Twilight, you're seriously still sore over that game of Go Fish!?"

"Not sore, but forcing Sky and I to make out warrants a little revenge, don't you think?" He crossed his legs, nonchalantly picking fur off of his tunic. "Besides, this isn't half as bad as what Sky had planned for Engie."

"Wait," said Wind with wide eyes, "what did he do to Engie!? If you guys hurt him I _swear_ I'll — "

He was interrupted by a loud scream from outside. Recognizing it as his successor, Wind rushed to the window and peered outside. He gaped at the sight - Engie was running for dear life from a gaggle of angry cuccos, and Sky was behind them, laughing as he egged the birds on!

"Ahahaha! Go get him, guys!" cackled Sky in an uncharacteristically sadistic tone.

Poor Engie simply screamed some more, swerving around the corner of the house until he and the angry flock were both out of sight. Once again, Twilight began to laugh, and Wind narrowed his eyes at him.

"You're horrible," he said, "you and Sky both."

Twilight just shrugged. They may have been horrible, sure, but that did nothing to sour the taste of sweet, sweet revenge.


	55. At Least They're Good For SOMETHING

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**At Least They're Good For SOMETHING**_

Today was most definitely a "shorts and sleeveless shirt" kind of day, and, for Sky and Mini, it was also a "sitting out on the porch eating ice cream out of the tub" kind of day. So that was exactly what they were doing. However, despite their best efforts to keep cool - Sky had set up his gust bellow on a nearby table to blow a constant stream of cold air at them - the heat was still managing to get to them.

The elder Hero yawned, the warm air making him terribly sleepy. Then again, he was always a little sleepy, so perhaps it wasn't the heat at all. "Man, Mini, whatever happened to the whole 'perfect weather in paradise' thing?"

Mini shrugged. "I guess we can't appreciate the good weather fully without a few hot days here and there." He stretched his arms. "But, hey, at least it's not like the volcanoes we've been to, right? Now _those_ were hot."

"Yeah, good point." Sky dunked his spoon into the ice cream tub they shared, only to find a liquidy mess instead of cold and creamy goodness. He pouted. "Hey, it's melted!"

"What? Already?" Mini peered into the tub. "I can't believe this! That was perfectly good ice cream, too!"

"Ice cream?" asked a voice from around the corner of the house, "You guys have ice cream?"

Sky smiled and waved at the friendly face. "Hey Time," he said. "Well, we _did_ have ice cream, but it's already melted…"

"Aww…" However, Time's disappointment soon gave way to an idea, and he approached the two and their tub. "Hold on, I think I can fix this."

"How?" asked Mini curiously.

Reaching into his pouch, Time pulled out his quiver, then reached into the quiver to pull out an arrow with a radiant blue glow around the tip. The ice arrow emitted cold magic to the point that just having it out was a welcome break from the heat. It didn't last long, however, as Time then stuck the arrow down the side of the tub and into the ice cream, making the entire thing one big block of ice.

He grinned at his own genius. "And there you go."

Mini gave the younger Hero a dirty look. "Thanks a lot, Time. How the heck are we supposed to eat this!?"

"Give it a few minutes, it'll thaw."

"This looks like it'd take a few _days_ to thaw," mused Sky, tapping the rock-hard mass formerly known as ice cream with his finger.

"But at least it's not melted anymore, right?"

"I suppose…"

With an aggravated sigh, Mini shook his head. "Nevermind. We have nothing better to do." He laid down, crossing his arms behind his head. "Guess we'll just wait."

Time took a seat beside Sky. "And then you'll share some, right?"

"Sure," yawned Sky, "why not?"

Mini shot up again. "Hey, who said anything about sharing!?"


	56. Hello, Dollie

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Hello, Dollie**_

"No, Thunderbird, I believe it is _you_ who will fall! Pshew! Pshew! Hiya! Pew pew pew!"

With a swing of his mighty blade, the miniature Link doll "slayed" the imaginary Thunderbird. Brown chuckled, enjoying his immature little play session as he turned the doll that looked just like him over to face its shadow.

"Oh no, it's Shadow Link! Will our hero conquer himself!? Yah! Hiya! Eyaaaah!"

"Um…"

Startled, Brown looked up to see Duo, who was staring at him in confusion, and Light, who was grinning ear to ear. The younger Hero yelped, trying to hide the doll as quickly as he could.

"No no, go on," chuckled Light, "I wanted to see how that battle turned out!"

"Shut up," said Brown, his face bright pink in embarrassment, "you know how it turned out."

Duo simply tilted his head. "Where did that doll come from, anyway?" he asked, "It's really cute…"

Hesitantly, Brown brought the doll back into view and took a long look at it. "Honestly, I have no idea. I just found a bunch of these things lying around Hyrule while I was trying to wake the princess. I kept them for good luck, I guess."

Light cocked a disbelieving eyebrow. "You _found_ them? Just lying around?"

"I'm telling the truth!"

"I wonder what they were doing there," said Duo, scratching his cheek in thought. "Maybe they were dropped by some kids?"

"Can't be," said Brown with a shake of his head, "a kid wouldn't go anywhere near the places I found them."

"Then maybe you had a fan following you around, and they wanted to give them to you as a present!"

Brown grimaced a little. "Duo, that's kind of creepy."

Duo frowned. "Sorry, it was just a suggestion…"

"Come to think of it," said Light, furrowing his brow, "they could have been dropped by Ganon's minions."

"What would _they_ be doing with dolls that looked like me, though!?" asked Brown, clearly growing uncomfortable with this conversation. "They were trying to kill me!"

"Exactly." Light's face darkened as he explained. "You see, there's a kind of magic that involves taking a person's likeness and putting a curse on it. Ganon's army wanted your blood - they may have been trying to use the dolls to get it."

Brown gulped at the implications, stared at the Link doll for a moment longer, then threw it against the floor, kicking it away once it landed.

"That's so scary to think about," said Duo, cringing.

Light shrugged. "But it makes sense, right?"

"That's it," said Brown as he buried his head under his arms on the table, "I'm _burning_ that thing."


	57. Adventure Pouch Appreciation Chapter

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Adventure Pouch Appreciation Chapter**_

Green wobbled from side to side as he tried to carry a huge pile of, well, stuff back to his house. He bit his lip and a bead of sweat rolled down his face as he attempted to keep his balance whilst also balancing a bomb bag, a boomerang, his bow and quiver, a hammer, a shovel, and a pair of pegasus boots in his arms. As he walked further and further, however, he knew he couldn't keep it up all the way to his home, and soon he had no choice but to drop his items in the middle of the road and sit down to rest.

"Dammit," he cursed breathlessly, wiping his face with his sleeve.

"What's this?" asked a voice from behind him, "Spring cleaning?"

Green turned to see Engie, eying the pile of items with a cocked eyebrow. He sighed and shook his head.

"Uh-uh," he said, "my pouch got torn."

Engie's face changed into an expression of concern. "That's not good," he muttered, walking over to Green's tools and pondering what to do with them. "With as much stuff as we carry around, we need to keep our pouches in good shape."

"I know, I know," replied Green with a pitiful look. He glanced down at the ground. "Man, you really take for granted how useful an adventure pouch is until you can't use one anymore. Without them, we would have had to carry around _tons_ of stuff all over Hyrule!"

"Yeah, and there's no way we could have done our jobs like that." Engie opened up his own pouch and began to place Green's items inside of it. "It's not something we usually think about - I mean, practically everybody has one - but they really do help a lot."

Green saw what he was doing and stood. "Hey, what gives? I was taking that back to my house!"

Engie snickered. "It's okay, Green, I'm just trying to help. Is this everything?"

"No," said Green, scratching his head bashfully, "there's another pile back a little ways."

"Then let's go get it. I'll keep your stuff safe until you can get your pouch fixed." Engie smiled. "I bet Twilight would be willing to fix it up for you if you asked him."

Green couldn't help but return the grin. "Yeah, those goats have probably eaten a few holes in his own pouch before. If anyone can fix it up, it'd be him."

As the two Heroes began walking back towards the rest of Green's things, they vowed to never _ever_ take their magical adventure pouches for granted again.


	58. Alas, Poor Twilight

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Alas, Poor Twilight**_

Twilight laughed heartily. "Really?" he asked incredulously between chuckles, "There were _bedtime stories_ written about him?"

Wind nodded. "Uh-huh! In my era, everybody knew the story of the Hero of Time." He glanced over at Time, amused at how suddenly uncomfortable he had gotten. "Grandma used to tell it to Sis and I when we were kids. Of course, everybody had their own version, and none of them were very accurate."

"Well," muttered Time, who had turned the slightest bit red at the mention of his fame, "it's not like I was around to correct them or anything. Legends always get distorted over time."

"Yeah, it's really weird." The Hero of Winds leaned back on his hands. "In some versions, the Hero's a little kid, and in others he's a full-grown man. And sometimes people would just make up stuff that never actually happened, like that he fought sea serpents and yetis and things like that."

"Funny," said Twilight, still grinning about the whole thing, "I thought _I_ was the one who fought a sea serpent."

Time side-eyed his pupil. "Aren't you the one who had an entire _stage play_ written about him, Twilight?"

"Ah." Now it was Twilight's turn to become flustered. "W-Well, yeah, but — "

"Oh, you mean _Light and Shadow_, right?" said a friendly voice from behind them. "That's a classic!"

Wind tilted his head curiously at the new arrival. "Duo, how would you know about it? It didn't even exist in your history."

Duo simply smiled. "I read the manuscript here," he explained. "I always liked plays and musicals. It really is a great work of theater, if a bit inaccurate." He sat down with the others. "I always liked the scene where the Hero and the Twilight Princess have to say goodbye."

Twilight groaned, pulling his hat over his ears as Duo began quoting some choice lines.

"_Does the moon lie with the sun? Can the frigid snow of winter mingle with the blistering winds of summer? Surely, they cannot; not without one destroying the other. And so while light and shadow may be two sides of the same coin, they can never mix._" He raised his hand dramatically as he recited the rest. "_But know this, my Hero; though we may be worlds apart, though the vastness of time and space may separate us, I will always, always love —_"

"_**That's not how it happened!**_"

All eyes turned to Twilight, whose head was now half-buried in his hat as he blushed the brightest shade of red any of them had ever seen. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Duo spoke up again.

"I-I'm sorry," he said sheepishly, "was I embarrassing you, Twilight?"

"What do you _think_?" he snapped back, readjusting his hat and standing up. "S-Stupid playwrights… they can't even get a single thing right! Always making up things that never happened…" he continued to grumble to himself as he stormed off, leaving the others to simply watch him awkwardly. Then, after another short silence, Wind began to snicker.

"Man," he said to the remaining two Links, "I've gotta read that play sometime."


	59. Hey Batter Batter Batter!

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Hey Batter Batter Batter!**_

Light twirled the Cane of Somaria in his hand, grinning as he looked back and forth at his two successors. "Let's see," he said, "who's next?"

Brown looked at him intently, while Duo nervously braced himself.

Suddenly, the eldest of the three spun around towards Duo. "Duo!" he cried, giving the cane a wave and forming a bright red block in the middle of the air. As it fell, he swung the cane, hitting the block hard and sending it flying. "Go long!"

Duo stumbled backwards, holding his hands up in the air. He cried out when the block fell into his arms - it was much heavier than it looked! - and he struggled to keep from falling over. When he regained his balance, however, he laughed, proudly holding the block up in the air. "Got it!"

"Finally," said Brown, turning to Light and holding out his hand. "Okay, he caught it; that means you have to pass the cane to me now."

"Aww," said Light in mock disappointment, "I was having fun."

Brown took the cane and beamed. "We know how good you are at hitting," he said, summoning a new block and batting it towards Light, "but let's see how good a catcher you are!"

Realizing that the block was going way over his head, Light entered a mad sprint trying to catch it. He reached out, stretching his arms as hard as he could - but it was too late, and the block had crashed through the window of a building instead.

Brown and Light winced at the crash, while Duo placed his hands over his mouth. "Oh, no!" he said, "That's Engie's house!"

Suddenly, Engie poked his head through the window, a scowl etched in his boyish face. He held up the block that had landed in his living room. "You guys mind telling me what _this_ is doing in my house?"

"It was an accident!" said Brown, sulking a little. "We were just playing…"

"Yeah, well," he chucked the block out the window again, causing Light to yelp and sidestep it. He continued, "your little game of cane-ball nearly killed me! Again!" He pointed to Brown. "And _you're_ replacing the window, I hope you know!"

Brown sulked even more. "F-Fine… I'll go grab some glass…"

Duo looked at Light sadly. "Maybe next time we shouldn't play so close to our houses."

"Yeah." Light took the cane back from Brown. However, he couldn't help but smile, leaning over to the other two and snickering. "I do like the name 'cane-ball', though," he said quietly.

"What was that just now!?"

"N-Nothing, Engie!"


	60. My Body Is Ready

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**My Body Is Ready**_

Wind walked through the streets of the Heroes' paradise, munching happily on the jelly doughnut in his hand. He was headed back to his house, but in order to get there he needed to pass by Twilight's house, which was right next door. Normally this wouldn't matter in the slightest, but today, something happened that made poor Wind wished he'd taken a detour.

"Well go on, Twilight," he thought he heard Time say from inside the house, "you'll need to take off your shirt if we're going to get anything done."

He froze in place, his doughnut halfway to his mouth. Did he just hear what he thought he heard?

"Okay, all right, geez," said Twilight's voice with an annoyed sigh, "you don't have to rush me!"

"Great," chimed in Sky. "Here's the oil, Time - now lie down, Twilight. You're going to _love_ this."

Wind didn't even notice that he had dropped his jelly doughnut in shock and horror. His breath stopped and his face turned blood red as he listened to a series of Twilight's grunts and sighs. Finally, he heard a screech, startling him a little.

"Ah! Ow!" cried Twilight, "Geez, Time, can't you be a little more gentle!?"

At this, Wind covered his ears with his hands and ran off, praying to the goddesses that They would bless him with the ability to unhear the things he had just heard.

* * *

><p>Time laughed sheepishly, his hands slick with the clove oil he had been rubbing onto Twilight's back. "Sorry, but that knot by your shoulder is something <em>fierce<em>."

Twilight frowned. "Yeah, I know. _You're _the one who gave it to me."

"Maybe you should go a little easier on him, Time," suggested Sky, who was in the middle of wringing out a hot, wet rag and placing it on Twilight's neck, "especially if your training is giving him such bad back problems."

"Yeah," said Time with a sympathetic smile, "maybe you're right." He then returned his hands to Twilight's back, kneading out the massive knot and causing him to wince in pain.


	61. What If Zelda Was A… Wait…

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**What If Zelda Was A… Wait…**_

"What if the goddesses 'broke tradition'?" asked Green, cocking his head slightly at Light, "What do you mean by 'breaking tradition'?"

"Well, I mean a lot of things," replied Light, scratching his head just underneath his hat. "Usually, when They make Heroes, They follow a certain pattern, right? Young boys from humble backgrounds who don't live with their parents, left-handed, blond hair, a talent for learning things quickly — "

"I'm right-handed, though," interrupted Sky, "at least for using a sword."

Wind spoke next. "Yeah, and Brown has, well, brown hair. So that's not always the case."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about!" cried Light. "See, we usually have a good idea of what the next Hero in line is going to be like, but sometimes the gods change it up a little. I'm just wondering what you guys think They might do next."

Green glanced upwards in thought. "It's hard to say - I mean, we could get Sky to ask Them, but I doubt They'd tell us." He grinned. "That would ruin the surprise, after all."

Sky chuckled. "Yeah. Even I can't say what the next Hero's going to be like. Maybe he'll have brown hair again!"

"Or maybe he'll go back to being right-handed like you, Sky!" suggested Wind.

"Heck, for all we know, he could even be a _she_."

All eyes turned to Light, and after a short silence, Wind spoke. "…Really? You think They'd make a girl Link?"

Light shrugged. "It's possible!"

"Well, if it's a girl," said Green with a bashful little laugh, "I hope she's cute!"

"There's no doubt she'd be cute," said Sky, "if the rest of us are any indication!"

"Haha! Good point!"

Wind frowned slightly. "I'd worry more about a girl Hero, though." He turned red as he continued speaking. "N-Not that I don't think she could do anything we could… but won't she get _cramps_ every month?"

"Ah, that's right," said Light, his own face turning a bright pink at the subject. "She'd have to do everything we do _and_ deal with the pain… and the mess…"

"And the moodiness," added Green, "don't forget that. Man, that'd be a nightmare to go through!"

"And what about other people?" asked Light. "Just because women are revered as rulers in Hyrule doesn't mean that they'd be taken seriously as warriors. She may get a hard time from people who don't know any better."

Sky crossed his arms. "I think you guys are underestimating her. Girl or not, she'd still be a Link, and us Links can get through pretty much anything." He smiled. "If there ever is a girl Hero, we'll just have to believe that she can take whatever is thrown at her."

Wind laughed sheepishly. "Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't be talking like that about a fellow Hero."

"Guess you haven't broken your habit of worrying for little sisters, huh, Wind?" chided Green.

"I guess not!"

"Haha, now I kind of hope the next Hero's a girl - then you wouldn't be the only one with a little sister anymore!"

The others laughed before continuing their speculation on what kind of a person their next brother - or sister - would be.


	62. Don't Quit Your Day Job

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Don't Quit Your Day Job**_

"Okay, okay, here's one," said Engie, holding out his hand to silence the others before he began. "Why is a railroad angry all the time?"

"I dunno," asked Mini with a smirk on his face, "why?"

"Because people are always crossing it!"

Mini and Duo stared blankly at Engie. He sighed.

"...Because pedestrians have to walk across the train tracks," he explained, "get it?"

"Oooh!" Duo chuckled. "Now I get it."

Mini tilted his head. "Maybe you should lay off the train jokes if you want the rest of us to understand them. We didn't have trains in our times, after all."

"Yeah," said Engie sheepishly, "good point."

"Anyway, I've got a better one - one I'm sure you guys will get!" Mini leaned forward on the palms of his hands and told his joke. "A boy takes his girlfriend into a dark and scary cavern."

"Why would he do that?" asked Duo.

"Because," answered Mini, "he wants to give her a _keese_!"

Engie snorted in spite of himself, while Duo laughed heartily. "That's cute," said Engie. "Give her a _keese_, haha."

Suddenly remembering something, Duo raised his hand in the air. "Oh, I remember a great one! I heard it in Labrynna, and the guy I told it to said it was so funny he forgot to laugh!"

"Oh, really?" Mini grinned. "What is it?"

"Okay," Duo adjusted his seat on the grass and continued. "My dog has no nose."

The other two remained silent.

"...One of you is supposed to ask, 'how does it smell'?"

"Oh!" Engie said, "Um, how does it smell?"

"Awful!"

This was met with even more awkward silence.

"...So? It's funny, right?"

Mini shook his head. "Duo... I've been around for thousands of years, and I think that was the single _worst_ joke I've _ever_ heard. _Ever_."

"What!?" cried Duo, a pathetic look of disappointment gracing his face, "B-But the guy I told it to said - "

"I don't think he _forgot_ to laugh," said Engie, "I think he just said that to make you feel better."

Duo looked down, completely disheartened. "But _I_ thought it was funny..."

And so it was decided between the three of them that the Hero of Holodrum and Labrynna was never to tell another joke ever again; for all of eternity.


	63. Just Wait Until She Reaches 88 MPH

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Just Wait Until She Reaches 88 MPH**_

Epona was a good and patient horse; she didn't mind at all when Heroes other than Time came to play with her. In fact, she'd grown quite fond of these boys whom her rider considered to be his brothers in their heavenly realm. What she wasn't terribly fond of, however, was how the small Links in the multicolored outfits were trying to put, well, _something_ over her hooves.

She snorted in irritation as Vio secured the last pegasus boot to one of her hind legs. "There," he said, standing up and giving a wry smile to the others, "I think she's ready to go."

"Great," said Green with a grin, "now all we have to do is wait for Time to call her."

Blue scratched at his hairline. "You really think this is gonna work, you guys?" He looked down at Epona's hooves, all of which were loosely covered by a pegasus boot. "They don't even fit her that well."

"We'll find out soon enough," answered Vio, crossing his arms and looking over to Red. "Red, I think you'd better move; she might plow right into you if you're in front of her."

"Huh?" Red took his hand away from the horse's snout and moved. "O-Oh, right." He smiled brightly at Epona. "Don't worry, girl, this is gonna be fun! You'll get to run faster than you've ever — "

Suddenly, they heard the distant, airy tone of an ocarina, and before they knew it, Epona had run off at an incredible speed, neighing and leaving clouds of dust in her wake. After staring for a moment, the four began to laugh; first Green, then Blue and Vio, and finally Red.

"Ahaha! Look at her go!" said Green.

Blue snickered gleefully. "Man, I can just imagine Time's face when she gets there…!"

* * *

><p>Time lowered the ocarina from his lips and waited patiently. He smiled when he heard Epona's neigh; indeed, he thought, she was the most loyal friend he ever had, always coming to greet him when he called —<p>

— although, she never came to him quite _that_ quickly.

When he realized just how fast the horse was running, his eyes widened and he jumped out of her way, watching in stunned silence as she failed to stop. He held out his hand, about to call out her name, when he caught a glimpse of the pegasus boots. He lowered his hand and growled to himself.

"Those little punks," he muttered between gritted teeth. Then, he ran back towards the stable. "Twilight!" he called, "Twilight, I need your help…!"


	64. The Second Voyage Of The Farore's Wind

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**The Second Voyage Of The **_**Farore's Wind**

After his first excursion on his new ship went, well, not as planned, Wind decided that if he was going to have a serious, salty sea adventure, he would have to bring along a crew who knew what they were doing and who wouldn't get seasick. So, after receiving a few "no"s (Light simply laughed bitterly and slammed the door in Wind's face when he asked), he finally got three of the more mature Heroes, Sky, Time, and Twilight, to join him.

And for the most part, the sailing was smooth; the three were excited to come aboard and did what they were told to help get the _Farore's Wind_ on her way. As they circled around the shores of their paradise, however, Wind suddenly noticed that his crew was rapidly depleting in number. _Again_.

Irritated, he walked down from the captain's wheel and looked around. That was when he saw Time and Twilight goofing off near the rails with... fishing poles? He stormed up to them and gave them both a stern look.

"You two are _supposed_ to be manning the sails," he chided. "And where's Sky!? He's supposed to be on lookout!"

Twilight pouted. "Come on, Wind, we've been out here for hours!" He returned his attention to his hook, tying a lure to it. "I say it's time we had a break."

"A fishing break!" said Time cheerfully, holding up a lure of his own to Wind.

The younger Hero sighed. "You still haven't told me where Sky is."

"Asleep," said the two simultaneously.

Wind shook his head. Of course, he thought, what else would he be doing? Annoyed that his crew was yet again acting insubordinate, he turned his back on them. "I swear, none of you people know how the first damn thing about sailing!"

"Maybe we don't," said Time with a frown, "but I don't think _you_ know when it's time to have some fun."

"Time's right. You're taking this whole captain thing way too seriously." Twilight cast his line into the sea. "Lighten up."

Wind turned his head back over his shoulder, considering their words. Maybe they were right - maybe, after finally getting a ship of his own to command like he had always wanted, he let it get to his head. And, he thought, maybe a little fishing wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"...You guys didn't happen to bring another rod with you, did you?"

The two elder Links snickered. "That's the spirit!" said Time, pointing towards the entrance to the cabin. "There's one we got for Sky in there. I'm sure he won't mind you borrowing it."

"Thanks." He went inside, grabbing the fishing rod and joining Time and Twilight in the proud, heroic tradition of fishing for hours and hours on end.


	65. Everyone In The Audience Gets A Kinstone

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Everyone In The Audience Gets A Kinstone! **_

"Hey, Mini, there's something that's been bugging me."

Mini sucked the last of his lemonade through a straw and looked at Green inquisitively. "Huh? What?"

Green stood from his seat on Mini's couch and glanced over to the armoire that stood across the room from him. "What's in that wardrobe anyway? Unless you keep your clothes in your living room for some strange reason, I can't think of what could possibly be inside."

With a quick look at said wardrobe, Mini shrugged. "You can open it if you want to find out."

Taking his flippancy as a challenge, Green walked over and opened the armoire's doors. He yelped and stepped out of the way as a small avalanche of broken green, blue, and red-colored discs fell out onto the floor. He took a good look at them, picked up a blue piece, and cocked an eyebrow.

"Kinstones?" he asked, turning the piece over in his hand, "But... why?"

"They came with me when I died for some reason."

"Yeah, but how'd you get so _many_?"

"Your guess is as good as mine." Mini sat his empty glass down and turned in his seat so that his arms were resting on the back of the couch. "Even after I'd fused with everybody, I still kept finding them all over the place!"

"Wait," said Green in disbelief, "you're saying that you fused with _everyone_ in Hyrule?"

Mini nodded.

"And you _still_ found all these!?"

The elder Link laughed a little. "And that's why I had to put them _somewhere_ where they wouldn't get in the way," he said.

Green thought for a moment. "But, then, since you have so many, you could just fuse the pieces you have together, right?"

"Try it yourself," Mini said, amused, "and you'll see why I can't."

Frowning, the younger Hero sifted through the pile of kinstones for a piece that might fit the one he held. He then noticed that it wouldn't work, since they were both left halves. He found another potential fit - another left half. He repeated this a few more times before grimacing at the pieces and tossing them back in the pile.

"You've gotta be kidding me," he said, "they're all left halves...!"

"I know, right?" laughed Mini, "It's the craziest thing!"

Green sighed and began stuffing all of the useless pieces back into the wardrobe. "Man, either the Minish were trying way too hard to help you out, or they were playing some cruel joke on you, Mini."

"Nah, they wouldn't do that!"

"You never know!" Green put the last of the pieces inside and struggled to shut and lock the doors. "They're crafty little things; you never know what they're capable of doing!"

At that, for a short moment, Mini entertained the thought that all of his extra kinstones may truly have been the work of some mischievous Minish. He decided that he'd have to ask Ezlo when he next visited.


	66. The Visitor, Part 1 of 6

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**The Visitor (Part 1 of 6)**_

Civil wars are the inevitable consequence of a diverse group of people refusing to peacefully coexist; no one knows this better than the dead, who spend their days watching history unfold and, unfortunately, repeat itself many times over. And though the Heroes' lives in the beyond were filled with joy and splendor, watching the land they loved descend into war and strife was never a pleasant experience.

Sky furrowed his brow as he watched some event unfold in the pages of one of their magical tomes. Unsatisfied with what he saw, he shut the book and sighed deeply, causing the Heroes surrounding him to turn their heads.

"Well?" asked Engie, tilting his head as he rested his arms on the back of the bench Sky sat on, "Did they reach an agreement?"

The elder Hero shook his head. "They're still at a stalemate. Neither side wants to make any compromises."

"They never do," said Twilight, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall of a nearby building in a perpetual sulk. "That's why they fight, even when they should know better."

Lying down in the grass and looking up at the clouds, Wind spoke up. "You'd think at times like this the goddesses would send another Hero."

"Settling disputes between races isn't our job, Wind," said Sky. "The people of Hyrule have to reconcile themselves; we're only needed when the threat is too great for them to handle."

"Well they clearly can't handle it," grumbled Twilight, "if they keep fighting like this every few centuries!"

"But that's just the cycle of war and peace," said Engie. "This conflict will die down one day and make way for another period of peace. That's how it always goes."

Twilight narrowed his eyes at the ground. "I know. ...That doesn't make it any less depressing."

"Tell me about it," said Wind, closing his eyes. "Sometimes it feels like the work we do to keep the world safe is just... thrown away when this happens. Like it's not even worth keeping it up."

"Wind!" cried Sky, "Don't say that, we - "

He was silenced when they all heard the sound of boots hitting cobblestone road. Looking to its source, they saw what appeared to be a fellow Hero; he had the green hat and tunic, the sword on his back, and the entire heroic aesthetic they were all used to by now. One by one, however, they came to realize that this was not any of the Heroes they knew.

His pale blond hair framing his stern face and his blood red mantle rippling in the breeze, the unfamiliar Hero stared at them for a moment before tilting his head and curling his lips into a condescending smile.

"Come now," he finally said, "surely you're all made of sterner stuff than this."

The other Heroes looked to each other. Then, with a glare, Twilight approached the mysterious visitor.

"And who the hell do you think you are telling us that?"

The man chuckled at his forwardness. "You were always one of my more hot-headed incarnations," he said before looking towards Sky. "I see you've been keeping your successors in line, Sky! I apologize for coming back after you went through the trouble of taking me back to the gods."

"After I..." Sky blinked, confused. Then, his eyes widened as he finally put the pieces together in his head. He stood, walking over to Twilight and placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, Twilight, he's - he's one of us. ...I think."

"You _think_?" asked Wind nervously.

"Wait a minute," interrupted Engie, "you're not - you're the Spirit of the Hero, aren't you? The one who keeps getting reborn as one of us?"

"What!?" cried Wind and Twilight, looking back at the man in fearful amazement.

"You're telling me that this guy was _inside_ me when I was alive!?" asked Twilight, pointing at said guy.

Wind sat up. "Don't say it like _that_, that sounds wrong...!"

The newcomer laughed heartily at their reactions. "Like I said, I apologize for showing up unannounced." The Spirit shook his head in amusement. "But when I saw you all moping about like this, I had no choice."

"Nevermind that!" said Engie, jumping over the back of the bench and approaching the Spirit excitedly. "I just can't believe you're actually here, talking to us! I thought you were just a little green ball of light Sky had to carry around!"

The Spirit looked down at Engie with a soft smile. "That 'little green ball of light' had a form of its own, once, just like you."

"You mean you were alive once?" asked Wind, joining his successor in questioning the visitor, "Then, how come we never knew about you!?"

"I never took the time to make my story known. And, besides, I had a job to do."

Even Twilight seemed amazed to see this almost mythical being in front of him. "But your clothes," he said, motioning to the Spirit's cape, shoulder plates, and gaudy red gauntlets, "you weren't a knight, were you?"

"As a matter of fact, I was. I served in Hylia's army against the Demon King."

"_No way_!" cried the three, their eyes lighting up in admiration.

"That makes you even older than Sky!" said Wind.

"You must have been really tough!" added Engie.

"A bona fide _badass_ is more like it!" finished Twilight.

The Spirit raised a hand sheepishly. "I wouldn't go quite _that_ far..."

Meanwhile, Sky simply watched the exchange in stunned amazement. The Hero's Spirit was an actual _person_? And he existed even before he himself had? But, then, that would mean he was no longer the first Hero! He took off his hat in silent shock. Had his position in the line of Heroes, one he'd held with pride since time immemorial, suddenly been usurped? It wasn't as though he didn't respect the Spirit - far from it, he was just as awestruck by his arrival as the others - but there was a small part of him that was more than a little blindsided by this sudden revelation.

"...I'll go tell the others," he muttered, although he was pretty sure that they were ignoring him all together in favor of their new "First".


	67. The Visitor, Part 2 of 6

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**The Visitor (Part 2 of 6)**_

As one could easily imagine, the Spirit's arrival was met with shock and awe by the Heroes. Following that shock and awe, however, was celebration. Though the visitor would only be staying for a short while - a few days at the most - the others had every intention of throwing him a welcoming party like they would with any other Link.

And what a party it turned out to be! The old veteran warrior had a taste for ale, which made all the stories he had to tell more interesting. Some of the Heroes were off doing other things - Twilight had been in the restroom for the past hour, most of the smaller Links were outside playing catch with bomb flowers, Light laid passed out on the sofa, and Sky was sitting awkwardly in the corner, stifling his jealousy to the best of his ability while also fighting off his sleepy, alcohol-induced haze. Regardless, Time, Brown, and Duo were all still around to listen to the old soul's tales of his life on the mortal plane.

The Spirit took a large gulp from his stein and sat it back down. "So tell me," he began, "have any of you ever been in a Hylian prison?"

"I was in a Gerudo prison once," said Time, "does that count?"

Brown burst into laughter; though he'd been laughing at almost everything since the ale started to get to him. The Spirit chuckled and spoke up over him.

"I'm afraid this wasn't the kind of prison you could hookshot your way out of," he continued. "I was chained to the wall of an old stone dungeon for four years."

"A war vet _and_ an ex-con?" chuckled Brown, leaning back in his chair. "Ooh, watch out, this one's a tough guy!"

Duo ignored his successor's clowning. "_Four years_?" he asked, setting down his glass of milk (true to his nature, he didn't drink). "That's horrible! Why would they do that to you?"

"I'd tried to warn the people of Demise's coming and was dubbed a madman." He rested his head in his hand and scowled, though it looked more like an irate pout in his inebriated state. "The lords of the land didn't appreciate the panic I was causing, I suppose, and one in particular – Dagianis, I believe his name was - had it in for me."

Time frowned pitifully, already getting emotional from his story. "That's not fair!" he whined, "You're one of us! You're not a bad guy at all!"

"Just be thankful you weren't the one in chains, Time." The Spirit hiccupped. "Being force fed nothing but slop and dirty water, being scorned and humiliated by guards and criminals alike, relieving myself in a bucket - the _same_ bucket for _days_, mind you..." He laid his head on the table, the drink and his painful recollections exhausting him. "If you'll pardon the pun... prison _stinks_."

Brown guffawed, nearly falling over in his seat from laughing too hard. When he saw that Time and Duo were glaring at him, however, he stopped.

"...Oh," he said sheepishly, "that's not funny at all, is it?"

"You poor thing," said Time, sniffling and holding on to the Spirit's arm in a pitiful attempt to comfort him. "I can't believe you had to... to..." Indeed, it was Time who needed comforting the most as he broke into a quiet sob.

"There, there," said Duo, reaching over to pat Time's head, "it's okay, I don't think he wants you to feel sorry for him..."

"That's precisely the point," added the Spirit, pointing to nothing in particular but sounding bold and confident all the same. "Despite all of that, I was able to fight on Hylia's behalf. Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger!" He burped. "...You would all do well to remember that."

Brown bit his lip trying not to giggle again as Duo kept trying to calm down Time. Only the Spirit noticed the loud _thud_ coming from the corner of the room, and he turned only to see his first incarnation splayed out on the floor next to a fallen chair, snoring.


	68. The Visitor, Part 3 of 6

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**The Visitor (Part 3 of 6)**_

During his stay, the Spirit of the Hero was shocked at just how much Hyrulian history he had missed while he was in limbo between each of his many lives. As a result, he decided to brush up on some of the things he didn't have the chance to learn about. When he wasn't fraternizing with the others in an attempt to give them hope during a depressing time, he was bringing a bunch of books outside, skimming their contents and getting a general idea of what all had gone on in the world of the living.

This, of course, caught the attention of a few certain mischievous Heroes, who watched him studying from afar in awe and bewilderment.

"I don't get this guy," said Blue, crossing his arms. "I mean, he's supposed to be the embodiment of the Hero's Spirit, the thing that makes all of us who we are. You think he'd have better things to do than sit around reading books!"

"There's nothing wrong with reading, Blue," said Vio, rolling his eyes. "Don't be such an anti-intellectual."

"It just means that he's really smart _and_ really powerful!" Red's eyes shimmered in admiration. "I can't believe someone that amazing was inside all of us…!"

Green held a hand over his eyes to get a better look at the Spirit. "Still, though, he seems pretty serious. Like, more serious than even Time can get, and you all know that's pretty serious."

"Where are you going with this, Green?" Vio asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"I'm just wondering if he's really that unfazeable, that's all."

Blue broke into a wicked grin. "Wanna find out?"

"Uh oh," said Red, "I know what that look means…"

Green snickered and winked at Blue. "Let's do it, then!"

Vio snorted and shrugged. "By all means, go ahead."

Red turned his head. "But Vio…!"

"It'll be fun to watch, Red," he assured his alternate, "just you wait."

By that time, Green and Blue had already snuck around behind the Spirit as he sat on a boulder, intensely perusing the contents of one of his history books. With a cheeky grin, Blue reached out and tugged on his cape, only to become frustrated at the lack of any response. Green tried reaching up and pulling his hat off; still no response. Finally, after casting vexed glances at each other, the two began poking at the Spirit's ribs until they finally provoked a reaction.

The Spirit shut his book, placed it on the ground, then, without saying a word, grabbed the two annoyances by their collars, Blue in his left and Green in his right, and carried them back over to Red and Vio. "Nice try," he said firmly before walking back and resuming his studies as if nothing ever happened.

Vio stifled his chuckling and gave the others a snide look. "Satisfied?"

Blue scratched his head in amazement. "I thought he'd at least get a _little_ riled up…"

"He's made of some stern stuff, that's for sure," added Green.

"What did you expect? He's a war hero!" Red began his gushing all over again. "I bet _nothing_ can faze him!"

Blue reached over and yanked Red's hat over his face. "Well if you think he's so cool, why don't you marry him or something!?"

"Bluuuuue, stop it…!"


	69. The Visitor, Part 4 of 6

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**The Visitor (Part 4 of 6)**_

The Spirit blinked. "He didn't meet you for training? How odd."

"Exactly!" Twilight huffed and placed his hands on his hips. "He's always there before I am, and today he didn't show up at all! I when I found him," he motioned to the distance, where the backs of Time and Light's heads could be seen, "he was sitting around with Light, moping. Din almighty… I swear when Time's not trying to boss me around, he's off somewhere feeling sorry for himself!"

His lips curled into a half-smile, the Spirit tilted his head. "And I know both of you well enough to know that's an exaggeration on your part."

"Still!" Twilight scratched his head. "…You said you didn't want to see us looking down, right? You need to go talk some sense into them!"

"And you can't because…?"

"Because," answered Twilight, "I'll just end up saying something stupid. It's better if you do it."

The Spirit let out a small chuckle. "If you say so." He placed a hand on Twilight's shoulder briefly. "I would learn to have a bit more self confidence, though, if I were you." He then walked off towards the two Heroes sitting on the slope of the hill ahead of them.

* * *

><p>"…And I just wonder what the point of it all is sometimes," said Light, picking blades of grass and twirling them around in his fingers. "I don't regret doing what I did, but it's like the moment we leave the world to its own devices, people start going nuts."<p>

Time sighed and ran a hand through his bangs. "And all we can do is watch from afar," he added. "I wonder, if we could go back… you think we could stop all this?"

"At the very least we could save a few innocent lives." Light flicked the blade of grass away and grimaced. "Dammit, Time, we were knights - we protected people! - and now we're nothing but ghosts."

"And are your pathetic attitudes going to protect anyone?"

The two looked over, stunned to see the Spirit glowering at them with all the fearsome authority of a most respected warrior.

"…Come now, don't just sit there," he added after a short period of silence, "_attention_, men!"

The two instinctively stood up straight and tall at the Spirit's command. Satisfied that he could play to their military backgrounds, he began pacing in front of the two of them, glaring sternly all the while.

"You two wish to waste away thinking of 'what-ifs' rather than bask in the glory of the deeds you've accomplished?" he asked, "How shameful. Your colleagues, your fellow knights - what would they think, seeing you disgrace your own legacies like this!?"

Light and Time remained silent, nervously swallowing as the Spirit continued his lecture. He stopped in front of Time and shoved a finger to his chest.

"Captain!" he spat, "Did you not defend your country from disastrous treason, protect the innocent from monsters and criminals alike, lead your men to glorious victory against all manner of threats, and sire a long, proud line of courageous knights and Heroes?"

Time nodded slowly.

"Your _words_, Captain, use your _words_!"

"Y-Yes, Sir!"

"And you, Lieutenant!" He turned his attention to Light, "you brought great honor to your family and your fellow Heroes by guarding the Triforce and the Sacred Realm with your very life, fulfilling the will of the gods and keeping the knight's line true. Have you forgotten your own valiant deeds so soon?"

"No, Sir!" cried Light, "I haven't forgotten, Sir…!"

"Then act as though you haven't forgotten! These are your stories, men. These are your _legends_!" Placing one hand on each of the others' shoulders, his face softened into a warm smile. "…Leave this fight to the brave men and women of Hyrule. Now is the time to enjoy the fruits of your labor!"

For a moment, Time and Light didn't know what to do with themselves. After watching them glance at each other in nervous confusion, the Spirit sighed and lowered his hands.

"…At ease, you two," he chuckled, "I was only trying to speak your language."

The two relaxed, with Light laughing nervously at the whole thing. "Geez, you made me feel like I was a rookie again!" he said.

"But still," added Time, "thanks. I think we really needed a stern talking to!"

"I can't leave you all while you're still feeling sorry for yourselves, now, can I?" said the Spirit, turning away with a slight grin and a wave as he left. "And don't forget, Time, that you have a pupil to look out for."

"Ah!" cried Time, "That's right - I completely forgot!" He quickly gathered his sword and shield from nearby, "Twilight's never going to let me live this down…!"

Light snickered. "Good luck with that," he said as he gathered his own things, preparing to go his separate way.


	70. The Visitor, Part 5 of 6

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**The Visitor (Part 5 of 6)**_

Brown pushed his spoon around in his empty soup bowl, watching the Heroes at the adjacent table cheerfully carry on. Mini, Green, and Engie were all showering Wind and his grandmother with praises for the delicious elixir soup he had brought to share with everyone; a sentiment Brown certainly shared, though something else seemed to be on his mind as he stared at their table.

"Hey, Brown," said Duo quietly from beside him, "something wrong?"

The newest Hero looked back and shook his head. "Oh, no, nothing's wrong. It's just," he looked back at the four small Links, "I haven't been here very long compared to the rest of you, and those guys - well, I still have trouble telling them apart, especially when they're all together like this."

Duo chuckled bashfully. "Yeah, they do look really similar, don't they?" He smiled. "Even their Hero's clothes all look alike."

Across the table sat the Spirit, who had been silently enjoying his soup and recalling the pleasant memories he had shared with Wind of his family. When he overheard Brown's dilemma, however, he sat his spoon down and turned his attention to him.

"It really is not very hard to tell them apart, Brown," he said, "once you look past their superficial similarities."

Brown blinked at him. "Really? How?"

"Well, for one," said the Spirit, motioning to the group at the other table, "look at their heights; even when they're sitting, you can see that Green is the tallest, then Wind, then Engie. Mini is the shortest."

Duo laughed. "Don't let him hear you say that, Sir! Mini hates being called short."

Though he had asked Duo not to call him "Sir", the Spirit paid it no mind. "Oh, I know," he said with an amused smile. He placed a hand on his chin and continued. "They have different eye colors as well. Though Mini and Green have blue eyes, Wind's are dark green, and Engie's are brown. You can see the difference better when there's more light."

"I didn't know that!" said Brown, amazed. "I guess I never really looked at everyone's eyes before."

"They say they're the windows to the soul, Brown," the Spirit said, "you'd do well to pay better attention to them."

Duo chimed in. "They may seem pretty similar now, but once you really get to know them like we all have, not only do they start to look different, but you also begin to see just how different their personalities are."

"Duo's correct," said the Spirit, folding his arms over his chest. "Take Mini, for example - he was always an adventurous spirit, always curious and wanting to try new things. He's what you'd call a bit of a thrill seeker, and he's quite impatient because of it."

"That explains his thing for fast vehicles," said Brown, "like mine carts and Engie's train."

"Yeah, he keeps wanting to borrow my pegasus seeds to use on the train again," said Duo, scratching his head nervously at the memory of their little incident.

"Now," continued the Spirit, "Wind's greatest strength is his devotion and loyalty, to his family and to his friends." He smiled sadly. "But perhaps that devotion made him worry too much; he was always fretful and easily stressed."

Brown snickered. "He's pretty easily startled, that's for sure."

"As for Engie, he's very industrious, honest, and hard-working; those qualities helped him become a royal engineer at such a young age. ...Though he never did learn to think before acting on impulse."

"But you could argue that if he played it safe, he never would have succeeded in his journey," said Duo.

The Spirit laughed. "True enough. Anyway, as I'm sure you know by now, Green is - how do I put this - one of our more 'gung-ho' incarnates. His personas are all different facets of his personality; Red's eagerness and spontaneity, Vio's cunning, Blue's short fuse, and, of course, his own courage."

Brown's eyes widened at the in-depth description he gave. "Wow... how the heck do you know all that?"

"Because," he replied, "I _was_ them. I was all of you at one point or another; I know your stories and share your memories." He glanced at Brown. "I know that you, Brown, were a born explorer with unmatched wanderlust." He grinned. "I also know that you were scared of the dark."

"What!?" Brown cried in a flustered fit, "Th-That's not true at all!"

"Oh, that explains why he was always using candles on his quests!" said Duo.

"You shush!" spat Brown, pointing at Duo with his spoon, "It's a lie and you know it...!"

The Spirit laughed again, shaking his head. "Denial doesn't suit a Hero of Legend," he chortled.

"Neither does telling embarrassing stories about me," replied Brown.

"You're right," conceded the Spirit, "my apologies." He returned to his meal, his apology only half-sincere as he amused himself watching Brown vehemently try to hide his embarrassing little secret.


	71. The Visitor, Part 6 of 6

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**The Visitor (Part 6 of 6)**_

"...And you're sure you don't want me to escort you?"

The Spirit smiled and nodded. "You make this journey whenever a new Hero is needed; I couldn't possibly ask you for anything else."

"Mmm." Sky made an attempt to smile back at him, but soon enough his true feelings showed through. He looked down at his feet anxiously.

"...What's the matter?" asked the Spirit, "Do you have something to say?"

"I do," replied Sky, "but it'd just be petty of me after all you've done to make us feel better."

The Spirit tilted his head in curiosity. "It's better to be honest and a little petty than to hide your feelings," he said. "I'm listening."

"Well," Sky sighed, sulking, "it's just... I never really knew anything about you until now. I mean, I had a feeling that this whole thing was older than I was - but all this time, I'd always thought I was the first Hero." He scratched his ear bashfully. "...I guess I was just upset that I was mistaken. I was really proud of being the first, you know?"

Raising an eyebrow, the Spirit listened to his confession. Then, he began to chuckle, his shoulders shaking as he shook his head, amused.

Sky looked back up, turning red in embarrassment. "See? ...I told you it was petty."

"No, no, it isn't that," said the Spirit, "you weren't mistaken, Sky. I've always thought of you as the first true Hero, and you have every right to be proud of that."

"Huh?" Sky's eyes widened a little in bewilderment.

The old warrior stopped laughing and looked to the side. "...I was given a task by the goddess Hylia; to use the blade that heaven had bestowed upon me to stop the demon king once and for all." He lowered his eyes, an uncharacteristically sad expression creeping over his face. "And I failed to complete that task. I was wounded, and all I could do before passing away was help Her Grace send her people to the sky."

Sky stared at him. "That's - but you saved so many lives! Just because you couldn't stop Demise doesn't mean - "

The Spirit placed a strong hand on Sky's head affectionately, smiling warmly at him. "I know what I did," he said, "but you finished what I had started. You accomplished so much - you became a far greater man than I could have ever hoped to be." He looked up towards the heavens. "And that's why I owe it to you - to all of you - to keep this cycle going. In exchange for your eternal rest, the reward you all so richly deserve, I allow myself to be reborn again and again. I became the Spirit of the Hero," he lowered his hand and glanced back at Sky, "so that you wouldn't have to."

There was a long silence as Sky allowed the revelation to sink in; the revelation that this man sacrificed his eternal rest and the memory of his deeds for the sake of Hyrule - for _their_ sake... He closed his eyes, trying desperately not to tear up, but was startled by a soft cloth being draped over his shoulders.

"You don't have to cry for me," said the Spirit as he finished wrapping his incarnate in his red mantle. "I don't regret doing this at all, and I know that you all feel the same way."

Sky grabbed the cape and looked at it, puzzled. "But, this is - "

"It suits you better, Hero."

Deciding that the Spirit didn't need his pity or his tears, Sky grinned at him. "...Thanks."

With a satisfied nod, the Spirit finally turned and began his journey towards the highest mountain in the realm, where he would surrender himself once again to the everlasting cycle of death and rebirth. Sky watched him leave, wrapping himself in the red cloth, and began to laugh.

"Should I have told him that I already have a cape like this?" he asked himself. Then, after thinking about it for a moment, he shook his head. "...Nah. This one's better, anyway."


	72. What Sorcery Is This?

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**What Sorcery Is This!?**_

Twilight stopped scratching the ears of a fat, grey cat that had made itself comfortable in his lap and stared, wide-eyed. "And that spell can take out _anything_?"

Brown nodded. "If the lightning can touch it, it's toast," he said, "but it takes a lot out of me, so I never used it very often."

"Still, though," Twilight said as he reached to another cat who had been pawing his legs for attention, petting her neck affectionately, "I'm really jealous, Brown - I never got the chance to learn any magic in my lifetime." He grinned. "You were pretty lucky!"

"Yeah, it's pretty cool," he said, "I can shoot fire from my sword, make myself jump really high, turn into a fairy and bypass enemies…" He laced his hands behind his head and smirked. "I probably know more magic than all the rest of you combined."

With a wave of his free hand, Twilight dismissed him. "Yeah, rub it in, why don't you?"

"Hey, speaking of," Brown leaned in closer to Twilight and his cats, "did I ever tell you about Spell?"

"Which spell?"

"No, that's the name, the Spell spell!"

The elder Hero raised an eyebrow. "That's kind of redundant, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I don't get it either." He beamed. "Anyway, wanna see what it does?"

Twilight shrugged. "Sure, why not? Can't imagine what a spell called 'Spell' would — "

He was interrupted when Brown began reciting words so archaic that even he, a Hero from an earlier era, couldn't decipher them. Then, he heard a _poof_ and felt something awfully slimy under his fingers. He looked down and screamed - the two cats he had been playing with had turned into blue bots! Startled and panicked by their new form, the cats-turned-blob-creatures lept away from Twilight's lap and scurried off.

"Bo! Beth!" he cried before turning to Brown with a glare that could paralyze the most vicious of beasts with fear. He stood, dragging the younger Hero up with him by his collar, and began shaking him. "_You_," he growled, "what the hell did you do to my cats!?"

Brown raised his hands nervously. "E-Easy, Twilight! I didn't hurt them; they'll turn back in a few minutes — "

"_You turned my cats into jelly blobs, you bastard_!" He shook Brown around some more. "If you weren't already dead I _swear_ I'd kill you right here!"

"I'm sorry!" he pleaded, getting dizzy from all the shaking, "I won't do it again, I'm sorry! They'll turn back, I'm serious!"

Twilight dropped him and spun around, fully intent on finding his poor kittens before they got themselves lost. "I believe you," he said, "but if you _ever_ do that to my cats again…!"

"R-Right," stammered Brown, adjusting his hat, "I'm sorry… I can, uh, help you look for — "

Twilight had already begun to storm off, however, signaling that he didn't want his help. The newest Hero sighed, sulking as he realized that they weren't going to be on very good terms for a while after this.


	73. Salty Spinner Of LIES

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Salty Spinner Of LIES**_

"Hey, Wind, I need to ask you something."

Wind turned to his successor and flashed a smile. "Sure, Engie, anything you like."

"You knew Niko, right?" Engie scratched his cheek. "He said he was friends with a great hero in his youth."

The elder Link couldn't help but laugh a little. "Yeah, Niko and I were friends," he said, "I'm surprised he lived long enough to meet you! He was always pretty stubborn, you know." He tilted his head. "So, what about him?"

"Well, I lived with him for a pretty long time since I didn't have my parents around." Engie looked ahead, lacing his fingers behind his head. "He'd tell me all these stories about the Hero of Winds; he'd even make little paper cutouts to go with them." He narrowed his eyes a little. "...But I always thought he was kinda full of it, so I never knew whether or not he was telling the truth."

Wind waved a hand in dismissal. "He always had a flair for storytelling; he probably stretched the truth a little, but I doubt he ever _lied_ about me."

Engie looked back at him incredulously. "So you really slayed a sea monster using only a broom? Somehow I doubt that."

"Well, um," Wind started sheepishly, "_that_ didn't ever happen, but - "

"And did you actually get captured by rival pirates, only to make your escape and lead all of its crew to mutiny?"

"No! That didn't happen either!"

"And what about the one where you saved a Great Fairy from getting eaten by a big octo? I'm guessing _that_ didn't happen, either?"

Wind held out a finger. "That one actually _did_ happen," he said.

"I doubt the one about you and Queen Tetra riding dolphins to scare away a bunch of sharks did, though."

Wind groaned, slapping both of his palms to his face. "Niko," he asked himself, "what the heck have you been telling my successor!?"

"I'm telling you," said Engie with a shrug, "he's full of it."

"Remind me to have _words_ with him later." Wind lowered his hands. "What else did he tell you?"

Engie looked up in thought. Then, he grinned. "He told me you had a steamy love affair with a mermaid once."

"_Dammit, Niko_!"


	74. Your Spirit Animal And You

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Your Spirit Animal And You**_

Although Twilight had been known throughout the ages as the Hero who took the form of a beast, it was oft forgotten that another in his line went through the same experience - sort of. Though Light's transformation inside the Dark World had been brief (and, in his opinion, undignified), he still had the unique experience of taking an animalistic form that reflected his true character. So, naturally, whenever the subject was brought up, the conversation inevitably turned into endless speculation and arguing over what kind of animal reflected each Hero's soul.

Having long since gotten sick of the circular nature of these conversations, Light decided to put their speculation to rest once and for all. After consulting with Sahasrahla over the more unorthodox uses of the magic mirror he'd used in life, he approached his comrades and presented it to them.

"You guys really wanna know what you would have turned into if you'd been in my situation?" he said, holding the mirror out for the three Links who had gathered around him to see, "Well then, here you go."

Wind cocked an eyebrow. "What's that going to tell us?" he asked, "I thought it could only open portals and stuff."

"It does a lot of things," said Light, "you just have to know how to use it."

With a small smile of amusement and interest, Time crossed his arms. "So this'll tell us what kind of shape reflects our spirit, huh... Why don't you look into first, Light, so we can see that it works?"

Sky laughed a little. "You just want to see that bunny form of his again, don't you?"

"Whatever would make you think that, Sky?" replied Time, his smile growing into mischievous grin.

"All right, fine," huffed Light as he moved the mirror in such a way as to display his reflection - a grumpy-looking rabbit with pink fur and his traditional green clothing - to the others. "See?"

The other three attempted to hold back their laughter - well, Wind and Sky did, as Time's amusement was made quite obvious by the loud snort he made.

"Would you look at that," the Hero of Time chuckled, "it really does work!"

"Stop it, Time, you're embarrassing him," said Sky as he tried desperately not to smile, "besides, rabbits are noble creatures; swift and alert, yet gentle and nurturing!"

"And I'm sure the bright pink color represents how cute and cuddly he is, right?"

Light just about threw the mirror in Time's direction, but was stopped when Wind yanked it from his hands excitedly.

"Let me try!" he said, looking into it with a big grin. "Cool! I'm a dolphin!" Sure enough, his alternate form was that of a small dolphin with a floppy green hat.

"It's because you were a sea-faring explorer in life, wasn't it?" Time said, looking over the boy's shoulder.

Sky did the same. "Aww, you make a cute dolphin, Wind!" He reached for the mirror. "Can I see?" Wind handed him the mirror, the image in it leaving the eldest Hero slightly confused. "...I'm a bear?"

Light snickered at the sight of a giant black bear in green clothes sleeping lazily on the ground. "I dunno, Sky, I think it's pretty accurate!"

"And a bear can tear a grown man apart with only its claws if it wanted to!" cried Wind. "That means you're really strong!"

"Yeah," said Light, "when he's _awake_."

Sky scratched his head and laughed sheepishly, handing the mirror to Time. Turning it in his hands, Time muttered to himself.

"Now let's see..." He took a good look at his mirror image - a pale-colored buck with a small hat situated right between its antlers. He smiled a bit. "Well what do you know, I'm a deer."

At this, Light doubled over laughing. "And you think _my_ form was useless!" he guffawed, pointing at his predecessor.

Time, however, simply scoffed and shook his head. "I wouldn't underestimate a deer if I were you," he said, smirking. "Sure, it may _look_ meek and gentle, but I don't think that a tiny little rabbit could win against a head full of sharp antlers, do you?"

Light's laughter immediately ceased. "Oh... you, uh, you have a point there." He sulked, sighing long and hard in defeat. "Man, you guys get such cool forms, and I'm stuck being the damn pink bunny...!"

"There there," said Sky, patting his shoulder, "bunny or not, you're still a Hero. Don't be so hard on yourself!"

"Although he's right about the color," said Time cheekily, "it's not very manly, is it?"

If bad luck existed in the afterlife, then Light surely would have been the recipient of seven years' worth after hurling the magic mirror at Time's face.


	75. Stupid Sexy Links!

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Stupid Sexy Links…!**_

"You really met the Queen of Fairies?" asked Duo, his eyes wide in interest, "The one who rules even over the Great Fairies?"

Wind nodded, his head resting on his fists as he laid lazily on his stomach in the grass. "I'm surprised I'm one of the only people who've met her. She was really eager to help me out with getting the fire and ice arrows."

"Well, she doubtlessly was around to witness the flood, and you were the first Hero to come around afterward," supposed Twilight, who was busy braiding a few tall wheat stalks together. "Maybe she felt the situation was dire enough to help you out herself."

"Maybe," Wind said before turning slightly pink, "but if she thought things were dire, she sure didn't show it. She, uh, basically hit on me, kind of."

Puzzled, Duo tilted his head. "Hit on you? How?"

"She said I was her type." The small Hero grinned sheepishly. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it was really flattering! Just, you know, awkward."

Duo let out a bashful laugh of his own. "Oh, no, I get it," he said, "I understand that feeling completely!"

Twilight looked up from his work. "Yeah, didn't Labrynna's Maku Tree have a thing for you, Duo?"

"Y-You could put it that way," he replied, scratching his nose. "It wasn't that I didn't appreciate her feelings, and I guess I understand why she had them - I did save her life, after all - but, well, you know..."

With a scoff, Twilight shook his head. "Well, if you guys think _that's_ awkward, I definitely had it worse." He narrowed his eyes and said, as seriously as possible, "I was hit on by a cucco once."

The silence that followed was finally interrupted by a loud snort from Wind. "...Really, Twilight? What, did she cluck seductively at you?"

"I was a wolf then," he said, "I can understand what other animals are saying in that form. Said she liked my eyes, or something like that."

"That explains it," said Duo. "...I hate to say it, but I'm not really surprised. We seem to get that kind of attention from the strangest places."

"The goddesses must have a weird sense of humor," chuckled Wind. He looked up at the older Hero. "Although, Twilight, it's too bad you and that hen never hit it off - I bet you would have laid beautiful eggs together...!"

Twilight flicked one of the wheat stalks at him. "You're gross," he spat.


	76. If We Could Talk To The Animals

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**If We Could Talk To The Animals**_

"Easy, girl, easy," said Time with a hint of worry in his voice as he took a hold of his Epona's snout. "What's wrong? You didn't hurt yourself, did you?"

Epona snorted aggressively and pulled her head away from Time's hands. She moved around, whinnying in agitation despite her rider's best efforts to calm her down. After she refused his touch once more, Time gave up, turning away and frowning deeply.

"It's times like this I wish you could talk," he muttered to himself.

From the other side of the stable, Twilight stopped brushing his own horse and turned. "What was that? ...Hey, what's with the old girl? She looks mad."

"That's what I've been trying to figure out," replied Time sadly. "I'm worried she's hurt or something."

Twilight frowned. "Hold on a second," he said before startling Time by immediately shifting into his wolf form. Walking carefully over to the elder Epona, he side down on his hind quarters and looked her in the eye. The horse immediately took notice, calming down enough to convey something to Twilight with a series of snorts and grunts. The wolf Hero nodded a few times, the process repeated, and finally he returned to his true form, turning to Time with a scowl and slapping the back of his head.

"Ow! ...What was that for?"

"You buckled her saddle too tight, you dolt!" said the younger Hero disdainfully. "No wonder she's so irritated!"

"Ah..." Time turned slightly red at his oversight before reaching under Epona to unfasten her saddle. "I'm so sorry, Epona, I had no idea!"

She seemed relieved as he removed the burdensome load and put it away. Then, in a gesture of gratitude, she craned her neck over to rub her nose in Time's hair.

"Guess that did the trick," laughed Time, giving his companion a loving pat. "Did she say anything else, Twilight?"

Twilight snickered. "Oh, plenty. Apparently, you haven't been giving her her favorite carrots as often as you used to, and the brush you've been using makes her itchy."

Time's face fell bashfully. "I see... I'll keep that in mind. It must be great getting to talk to animals like you can."

"So that whole golden wolf thing was just for show, then?"

"That was completely different, Twilight. You know that."

Time's Epona paid no attention to their discussion, however - she seemed perfectly content with knowing that there was the possibility of more carrots in her future.


	77. This Joke Is Brought To You By NoA

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**This Joke Is Brought To You By Nintendo of America**_

"...And this is when Marin nearly killed me," said Light with a laugh, passing a black and white photograph to Sky. "I tried to catch her, I really did, but, well..."

The eldest Hero took the picture, which, unsurprisingly, depicted Marin landing quite ungracefully on poor Light, whose face was contorted into a rather silly expression of pain. Despite the sense of schadenfreude involved, he laughed, as did Engie, who had peered over his shoulder to see. "Okay, that's pretty funny," he said.

Engie took the photo from Sky's hands and took a closer look himself. "I'm surprised that photographer guy was there to catch it on film! Did he just follow around the whole time you were there or what?"

"I'm pretty sure he did, actually."

Having meant that previous question as a joke, Engie's face fell when he realized Light was being serious. "...Okay, that's actually kind of creepy. Didn't that bug you, Light?"

"Of course it did," he replied, handing the rest of the photo album to Sky for him to peruse, "at the time, I mean. But now, I don't think I can be mad it him - I spent a long time wondering whether my time in Koholint only existed as a figment of my imagination, and having these pictures here with me lets me know that there was something more to it."

"Makes sense," said Sky with a small smile is he flipped a few pages in the book. One photo in particular, however, caught his attention, and he raised in eyebrow in confusion.

"What?" asked Engie, "What is it, Sky?"

"...What was it you said you had to find for the mermaid again, Light?"

"Huh? Oh, uh," Light shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "h-her necklace. Why?"

After peering over his predecessor's shoulder once again, Engie broke out into a loud belly laugh. He slid the picture out of the album and showed it to Light. "Well that's got to be the weirdest looking 'necklace' I've ever seen!"

Light yelped and turned bright red at the picture - it was him and the mermaid he'd met on the island, and he was bashfully and awkwardly handing over what was decidedly _not_ a necklace, but a bikini top. He covered his mouth with his hand and looked away.

"I'm gonna _kill_ that nosy rat," he muttered.

Trying hard not to chuckle at Light's reaction, Sky tilted his head. "You never returned a necklace at all, did you? How come you lied to us about that?"

"I-I was," the flustered Hero swallowed, "I was embarrassed, okay!? I thought you guys would think I was a pervert or something!"

"Would a pervert be as embarrassed about it as you are in this picture?" asked Engie, "Or even give it back in the first place?"

"Engie's got a point," added Sky. "You handled it like a gentleman. For the most part."

Light sighed in irritation, taking the photo from Engie. "I guess." He put it back in the album. "I'm still gonna give that photographer a piece of my mind, though. ...Sorry for lying to you all."

Sky finally allowed himself to laugh. "We understand, don't worry."

"Yeah, we understand," repeated Engie with a grin, "O Hero of Women's Underwear...!"

Light reached over and grabbed the smaller Link's ears. "Yeah, laugh it up why don't you, you little punk!?"


	78. Link Bigalow: Hyrulian Gigolo

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Link Bigalow: Hyrulian Gigolo**_

"Well, go on, Green," said Mini, grabbing his successor by the shoulders and shoving him towards Time, "ask him!"

Time blinked, turning from the shield he was busy polishing and toward the other two Heroes. "Mm? Ask me what?"

"I — " Green suddenly turned red and clammed up; something that was highly uncharacteristic of the boy, who was typically shameless with his thoughts and feelings. He looked back at Mini.

"Don't be like that," chuckled the elder Link, "ask him!"

Green gulped. Then, with a deep breath, he bowed deeply. "Please let me become your apprentice!"

"Eh?" Time tilted his head. "I thought you practiced with Mini, but if you can grab your sword I could — "

"No, no, not in swordplay," interrupted Mini with a bright laugh, "he wants to become your apprentice in charming girls."

"Mini!" growled Green through gritted teeth.

Time held out a hand incredulously. "Wait, wait, wait, hold on… you want me to teach you how to charm girls? Am I hearing you correctly?"

The flustered Hero sighed and rolled his eyes. "Come on, Time, if anybody could show me how to do it, it's you! Mini told me all about how girls would flock to you when you were alive!"

With a gulp, Time, covered his mouth and chin with his hand and turned slightly pink. "Well, I, uh — "

"He said you used to be the most handsome man in Hyrule! Everyone either wanted you or wanted to be you!" Green held his fists in front of him and pleaded, "Come on, Time, you have to tell me how you did it…!"

Time's eyes darted to Mini. "What kind of things have you been telling him, Mini? I hope you weren't _trying_ to paint me as some kind of philanderer…"

"Not a philanderer, _per se_," replied Mini with a grin, "but you've got to admit, you did break a lot of hearts, what with Saria and Zelda and Malon and Ruto - heck, even Nabooru thought you were cute!"

"H-How was I supposed to know they felt that way about me!?" said Time defensively, "I mean, aside from Ruto…"

"And let's not forget those longing stares you shared with Sheik," Mini continued. "I'm telling you, Time, your charm surpasses even the boundaries of age and gender…!"

"Wait, I thought Sheik was Zelda," said Green.

"He didn't know that at the time, now, did he?"

Time groaned and rubbed his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. "Okay, okay, I get the point. But, in all honesty," he lowered his hand and frowned slightly, "I couldn't tell you why I had so many admirers. It's not like I was trying or anything; I was just being myself."

Green thought about this for a moment. "So, you're saying that all I have to do is be myself?"

"That's not what I — "

"Thanks, Time!" His eyes began to shimmer in excitement, "I knew I could count on you!" He turned and ran off, muttering something about how he was going to become the 'Hero of Ladies'. Time watched him leave in bewilderment, then shot another unamused look at Mini.

"This was all your idea, wasn't it?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Mini shrugged. "I tried telling him that he didn't need to do anything special," he explained, "but he wouldn't believe me. Guess he just needed to hear it from you."

Time's frown turned into a small smile at Mini's explanation. "He has nothing to worry about in the first place," he said. "He is a Hero, after all - that kind of charm just comes with the territory, I think."

"Spoken like a true _stud_," laughed Mini, reaching up to give Time a few friendly slaps on the back.

The Hero of Time turned bright red and glared at his smaller elder. "Don't ever call me that again," he grumbled.


	79. No Fury Like A Level 9 Magician Scorned

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**No Fury Like A Level 9 Magician Scorned**_

For those who didn't know him personally, the fact that the newest of the Legendary Heroes was in fact the group's most powerful sorcerer would often come as a surprise. Hidden beneath his scruffy and endearingly boyish demeanor was an impressive knowledge of arcane magical secrets, which had been passed on to him by the most brilliant wizards and sages of his era during life. Though other Heroes could conjure fire and ice or achieve impressive feats with the aid of magical artifacts, Brown could draw from his own profound well of power to gain superhuman strength and defenses, heal wounds, control the near-uncontrollable force of lightning... and turn himself into a tiny, defenseless fairy.

Naturally, Brown had once questioned the usefulness of such a spell; he had even found it to be quite emasculating at first. However, once he discovered all of the advantages a fairy's form could provide, from bypassing locks to entering hidden holes to fleeing from a disadvantageous battle, he cast aside those thoughts and began to fully appreciate the Fairy spell. And now, after his adventures had long since ended, Brown found another reason to turn into a fairy: exploring his heavenly realm with a new set of eyes.

In his smaller form, Brown sat down on the top of a toadstool, resting his wings and sighing. He looked up at the giant, almost alien forest around him and grinned - everything was so new and different when you were small! He began to wonder if Mini felt the same way whenever he joined the Minish in their world; perhaps he'd ask him when he was finished exploring for the day.

Said exploring, however, was cut short when a blur crossed Brown's field of vision. He cried out as he felt himself being swept away from his perch and into something cold and hard. He groaned, sitting up and rubbing his head, then looked up. He gasped in horror at the sight - it was a cork, and he had just been shoved into a glass bottle.

Panicked, Brown pressed his hands against the glass that wasn't covered by the palm of his captor's hand and saw Duo, standing a few feet away and laughing happily. "You got another one!" he exclaimed, his voice muffled by the glass, "You're really good at this, Light!"

Light snickered with pride. "I'm telling you, Duo, nothing escapes from _my_ bug net!" He jerked the bottle around, sending Brown tumbling to his bottom.

Seething, the trapped fairy-Hero began pounding on the glass. "You idiots!" he screamed, "It's _me_! Let me out!"

But the larger Heroes couldn't hear him; they continued to laugh and carry on. "Let's see if we can't find any more ladybugs," suggested Duo, "then we can let them all go and head back for dinner."

"_Let me out, damn you_!" Brown gritted his teeth - he knew they weren't going to hear them when he was stuck inside this damned bottle, and he most certainly wasn't going to just wait for them to let him out! Scowling, he balled his hands into fists and uttered an unintelligible phrase.

The other two Links screeched in surprise when they heard a loud crack, and again when they looked over to find Brown, now human-sized, glaring ferociously at them with shards of broken glass embedded in his chestnut-colored hair.

"What the hell!?" swore Light, "_Brown_!?"

"He must have - " Duo gasped in realization, his hands covering his mouth. "O-Oh, gosh, Brown, we're so sorry! We had no idea that was - "

Brown shut his eyes and mumbled another string of archaic words. His brow furrowed deeply in rage and concentration, he held his palm to the air and was greeted with a loud thunderclap. Storm clouds formed above the trio's heads, and Light gulped at the sight.

"...Duo," he said fearfully, "you can apologize later - we need to run. _Now_."

A bolt of blue lightning landed in front of them, knocking both Heroes over. When they got back to their feet, they fled screaming from powerful surges of electricity while Brown watched, a sadistic grin creeping across his face. Those two would pay, he thought - oh, _how they would pay_...!


	80. Blowing Over A New Leaf

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Blowing Over A New Leaf**_

"...Hey, Wind, is it just me or does my lawn look different?"

Wind blinked at Sky, confused. "Huh? Well, yeah, but I'd just assumed you'd done something with it. Why?"

The two Heroes looked down at the grass, then at the rest of the lawn outside of Sky's home, and then finally at the grass again. Then, they realized what was so different about it: despite being well into the fall, they could actually _see_ the grass.

"There's no leaves," said Sky, bewildered and holding his chin in his hand. "Usually the ground's covered with them!"

"And there aren't any on Mini's yard, either!" exclaimed Wind as he pointed over to said yard, then to the one next door to Sky's. "Or Time's!"

Sky put his hands on his hips and tilted his head in thought. "Well, I didn't clear them out, so somebody must be - "

They heard a whooshing sound behind them, and they turned to see Engie moving a pile of leaves down the road; not with a rake or a bag, but with his pinwheel. Not noticing his fellow Heroes staring perplexed at him, he blew into the pinwheel to keep the leaves moving, stopping occasionally to catch his breath. Once he'd made it some ways further, Wind and Sky looked at each other.

"Guess we know who the leaf-blower is," chuckled Wind. "Wonder what he's up to?"

"Let's go find out."

They tailed Engie, following him down the road and around the corner to a grassy area clear of any buildings. They stopped, watching in awe as Engie blew the leaves into an impressive-looking leaf pile that was already taller than him! They also saw Mini, approaching from the other direction and using his gust jar to add even more leaves.

Grinning, Sky crossed his arms. "I'm impressed!" he said, "Are you two going for a record or something?"

Mini grinned back at him. "You know it!" He wiped his brow, glancing back at their work in progress. "Autumn is for making leaf piles, after all - isn't that right, Engie?"

Engie nodded. "You're welcome to come play in it with us when we're done!"

Shrugging, Wind shook his head and snickered. "Just because you guys look like you're twelve doesn't mean you have to _act_ like it."

"Oh, come on, Wind!" said Engie, rolling his eyes, "Don't be such a killjoy! It'll be fun!"

"Yeah," laughed Sky, giving the smaller Link a playful nudge, "I think these two are onto something!" He looked back at Mini and Engie. "I'll go get my gust bellow."

The Hero of Winds looked at the leaf pile again, reconsidering his words. On second thought, he never really did get to jump in leaf piles as a child, having been raised in a tropical environment, and the prospect _did_ seem like fun... He sighed. "Well, alright," he said with a small smile, "I'll get my Deku leaf ready."

"That's the spirit!" said Mini, adjusting the gust jar in his arms. "I'll go get the leaves on Twilight's lawn; Engie, you take Light's, and Wind and Sky can take Duo's!"

The Heroes nodded in agreement, then went their separate ways.

* * *

><p>"You know, Twilight," said Brown, adjusting his hat as he walked beside his comrade, "before I met you I didn't even know goats made milk!"<p>

Twilight laughed. "How do you think they feed their kids, Brown? You do know all mammals make milk, right?"

The younger Hero scoffed. "What, and that makes me stupid all of the sudden?" He crossed his arms indignantly. "Excuse me for not being raised on a - "

The two turned the corner and froze underneath the massive shadow cast by an enormous leaf pile. Just as Brown opened his mouth to exclaim his surprise, a familiar head popped out of the mountain of leaves, noticed them, and gave them a wave.

"'Hoy, guys!" cried Wind. Mini, Sky, and Engie all poked their heads out of the leaves and joined him in greeting the other two, who stared a moment longer before breaking out into broad smiles.

"So this is where all the leaves on my lawn went!" exclaimed Twilight. He called up to his friends buried inside. "There enough room for us in there?"

"Be our guest!" laughed Sky.

"All right!" cried Brown as he rushed ahead into the pile, diving face first into the leaves. "_Incoming_!"

Twilight followed suit, carefully digging his way into the mound with a laugh. Indeed, despite their many eons of existence, the chance to relive a fun childhood pastime like this was simply too irresistible for our Heroes.


	81. Sahasramalamadingdong

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Sahasramalamadingdong **_

It was something of a tradition for each new Hero to hear the tales of their predecessors' great journeys straight from the mouth of whoever embarked on them, and Duo was no exception. The others were all quite eager to tell their stories, and Duo was just as excited to learn the full story of the grand line of Heroes he was a part of. On this day, it had been Light's turn to talk about (or rather, brag about) his own accomplishments; making themselves comfortable on Light's couch, he spoke of his first adventure with pride and excitement as his successor listened intently.

"...So I left the princess in the care of the priest at the Sanctuary," explained Light, "and they told me about the Master Sword, the only weapon that could help me defeat Agahnim. They sent me on my way to Kakariko Village to meet with the elder Sahasrahla, but he wasn't there at the time - so I had to trek all the way back towards the east, where he was hiding out near the Eastern Palace."

"That sounds like a hassle!" said Duo.

The elder Link waved his hand flippantly. "Trust me, I've faced a lot bigger hassles since then."

"Oh, I guess you would have." The younger Hero smiled. "So what did Sahashrarla have to say?"

"_Sahasrahla_," corrected Light.

Duo turned pink and covered his mouth with his hand. "Ah, sorry! My mistake; I meant Shashralah!"

The snort Light let out soon turned into a laugh. "No, no! _Sahasrahla_!"

"Saha... Sahasasa..." Turning ever redder as he tried and failed to say the elder's name correctly, he buried his face in his hands. "This is so embarrassing...!"

Once he was able to stop laughing, Light leaned closer to him. "Okay, Duo, repeat after me. Sa..."

Duo obeyed. "S-Sa..."

"has..."

"has..."

"rahla."

"rahla?"

"Now, put it all together. _Sa-has-rahla_."

"Sa... Sahasrahla?" Duo's face lit up. "Hey, I did it! I said his name right...!"

"Good for you!" chuckled Light. "Now, where were we?"

"You were about to tell me what Sassyrally said about the Master Sword."

Light slapped his forehead with his palm.


	82. And That's A Little Bit Sad

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**And That's A Little Bit Sad**_

"Sky," asked Wind, watching the steam from his coffee rise as he sat, kicking his feet to and fro, "how do rupoors work?"

Sky blinked. "Rupoors? Well, they're black-colored rupees, and when you pick them up you lose a few of the rupees in your wallet."

"I know that," replied the younger Hero, "I ran into them in the Ocean King's realm." He looked back at Sky to clarify his question. "I was asking _how_ they worked. How can something make you _lose_ rupees? And where do those rupees go when they're gone?"

The older Link opened his mouth to speak, froze, then sulked. "...You know, Wind, I have no idea," he confessed. "When you get a rupoor, your rupees seem to just disappear, kind of like when you lose your socks in the laundry. It's really strange now that I'm thinking about it - maybe it's some kind of spell or something."

"You mean someone deliberately put a magic spell on rupoors just make people's money disappear?" asked Wind incredulously.

"Possibly."

"What kind of person _does_ that!?"

Sky shrugged. "Someone who doesn't want their savings stolen? Or maybe they just do it as a prank."

"Well, it's a terrible prank," said Wind. "Whoever did that must have a lot of free time on their hands."

"Yeah, I know," chuckled Sky, "it's a little bit sad."

"Agreed." Wind took a sip of his coffee.


	83. I'm Diggin' It

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**I'm Diggin' It**_

Something about a nice, quiet bath after an afternoon of riding across the plains with Epona filled the Hero of Time with a sense of peace and calm that he rarely got to enjoy in life. In fact, he was in such a state of ease and relaxation that he had to fight the ever-growing urge to simply fall asleep in the tub! He stretched his arms, then grabbed a nearby jug, filling it with water and moving to pour it over his head.

Yes, he thought with a smile, this was a wonderful way to end the day; everything was right in his world, and nothing could possibly -

He nearly dropped the jug of water when he heard a sharp cracking noise coming from his bathroom floor. Stunned, he watched with bated breath as one crack formed in his tiles, then two, until finally a clawed hand burst from beneath the surface, causing Time to scream and spill his water all over himself.

"_Farore almighty_," he swore, "what the - !?"

The hole in the floor quickly got bigger, then out came Mini's head, his cheeks soiled with filth as he looked around curiously. "Wait a second," he muttered to himself, then looked back down into the hole. "Hey, Sky, isn't this Time's bathroom?"

Sky popped up, donning a pair of mogma mitts the way Mini had on his mole mitts. "Oh, no," he said, "I thought we were under the street! Time's going to be so - "

A back-scrubber clubbed Sky in the head, and the two Heroes turned to see an enraged and thoroughly freaked-out Time, his face as bright red as his goron tunic.

"What the hell are you doing!?" he yelled, pointing at the other two accusingly, "You just dug into my house! While I was bathing...!"

"We didn't mean to!" cried Mini, waving his arms defensively, "We were just digging for treasure, that's all!"

"What treasure!?"

"You know, rupees and stuff!" Mini screeched as Time tossed a bar of soap at him, which landed squarely in the middle of his forehead.

"You are _dead_! You don't _need_ rupees!"

Sky gulped. "C-Calm down, Time," he said nervously, "we're really sorry! We'll fix the floor for you, promise!"

"At least let me finish my damn bath first!"

The two elder Heroes glanced at each other fearfully. Time's eyelid began to twitch.

"You heard me," he bellowed, "_out_!"

Without another word, Mini and Sky dropped down into the hole they'd made and returned the way they came. Time growled, grabbing his shampoo and rubbing it into his hair with a perpetual scowl on his face.

"I swear I'm going to burn those gloves of theirs," he grumbled to himself.


	84. His Imperial Highness, Vio The Great

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**His Imperial Highness, Vio The Great**_

As previously mentioned, having no need for rupees once they'd passed into the beyond, the Heroes had to get creative with any wagers they'd make. In that respect, the Hero split apart by the Four Sword was by far the most creative. This was even true - _especially_ true, one could say - concerning bets made amongst his alternate personas. Perhaps they simply forgot that they were competing with themselves, or perhaps it was some strange sense of masochism - whatever the reason, it still couldn't adequately explain why Vio was lounging on a bench surrounded by his other selves, who were waiting on him hand and foot in color-coded harem costumes.

Green frowned deeply as he fanned Vio with his palm leaf. "I knew we shouldn't have let you pick the punishment game," he grumbled.

"Maybe you should just get better at card games," sneered Vio. He snapped his fingers, prompting Red to pick a grape off of its stem and drop it into his mouth.

"Hey, look at the bright side," said Red sheepishly, fingering the sheer red sleeves of his belly dress, "at least we can feel pretty while embarrassing ourselves...!"

Blue stopped rubbing Vio's feet as he shot a terrifying glare in Red's direction. "Oh, look, _someone_ thinks they're a comedian!"

"Did I tell you to stop, _peasant_?" spat Vio as he opened one eye to give Blue a glare of his own.

Reluctantly continuing his work, Blue gritted his teeth and growled. "If there is a way to kill someone who is already dead," he said as menacingly as he could with a glittery velvet costume on, "I will find it. And I _will_ use it. On _you_."

"Good luck with that," Vio replied with a smirk. Just as he was about to get comfortable again, he heard footsteps approaching. He took another peek to see Light and Engie staring in pure bewilderment at the scene. He smiled smugly and waved. "Oh, hey, guys."

Engie blinked a few times before speaking. "Uh... do we want to know what this is about?"

Light simply grinned, trying his best to keep his laughter contained, then crossed his arms. "I think we should definitely hear the story behind this, Engie." He turned to Green. "What'd you guys lose at to have to do _this_?"

Green scowled, turning bright red at Light's mockery. "Crazy Eights."

"Vio won," continued Red, "and now we have to - " Vio cleared his throat loudly, causing Red to stammer. "Oh! Uh, I mean, _His Imperial Highness, Vio the Great_ won, and now we have to be his personal servants for a day."

"Were the dresses a part of that?" chuckled Light.

"Unfortunately," affirmed Green.

Slowly beginning to appreciate the humor in the situation as Light did, Engie smirked. "...So where'd you get those dresses, anyway? They're awfully, heheh, flattering on you guys."

Blue reached over to Red's bowl of grapes, grabbed a handful from the stem, and tossed them at the other two Heroes. "Go get swallowed by a like-like!" he cried.

Engie and Light simply laughed as they deflected the grapes with their arms. "You know, Engie," said the elder of the two, "we ought to get Wind and his pictograph box over here, don't you think?"

"Good idea! Let's go see what he's up to - he's got to see this for himself...!"

They ran off, leaving Blue in a fuming rage, Green steaming red from embarrassment, and Red feeling a little bit offended. Green gave his "master" a dirty look. "Now look what you've done - they're going to take _pictures_!"

Vio simply laughed. "Let them - I'll frame it, and then we can all remember the day _Vio the Great_ came out on top!" He snapped his fingers once more and, again, Red popped a grape into his mouth.


	85. Obligatory Halloween Chapter

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Obligatory Halloween Chapter**_

When Time first arrived in the afterlife, he had brought with him all of his keepsakes, including most of the masks he had acquired in Termina. He also brought with him memories of the holiday he never quite got to participate in during his stay in that alternate world; which was why every year, around the same time that Clock Town held its Carnival of Time, he would celebrate with them by wearing masks. Eventually, his predecessors adopted the practice, and by the time the others arrived it had become a well established tradition to create and wear masks, set off fireworks, and gorge themselves on all kinds of sweets and baked goods, just like the inhabitants of Hyrule's twin realm.

Usually, the Heroes decided on themes for all of their masks to have; this year, it was villains, and each Link had to create a mask of one of the major bad guys they had vanquished in life. Of course, the easiest thing to do for most of them would have been to make a mask of Ganon in one incarnation or another, so to make things more interesting they disqualified him as a choice. The result was a colorful, creepy assortment of evil overlords and ghastly creatures sitting around a fire, eating their customary treats while they waited for midnight to roll around.

Light moved his Agahnim mask upwards so he could stuff a giant wad of pumpkin bread (which Sky's Zelda had so graciously baked for them from an old Skyloftian recipe) in his mouth. Once he gulped it down, he looked over to Brown and Green. "So how come you guys ended up with the same mask, huh?"

"It's not the same mask," grumbled Brown indignantly through the pitch black, red-eyed mask, "I didn't know he was gonna pick Shadow Link, too!"

"I didn't have a choice!" whined Green, who wore a very similar mask, "We couldn't pick Ganon, and Mini was gonna pick Vaati! I thought Brown would pick Thunderbird or something!"

Duo munched happily on some candied almonds, his mask of Twinrova sitting in his lap. "I think you both did a great job on your masks regardless," he said.

"Not as good as Twilight," said Wind, whose Bellum mask was basically a giant eyeball with some more eyeballs attached to it with string, as he looked towards said Link. "That must have taken you weeks to do!"

Twilight chuckled, though his voice was muffled through the massive headpiece he'd carefully crafted to look like Zant's. "Thanks! It was a pain in the rear to make."

"Engie's is pretty good too," added Mini, whose mask was, indeed, of Vaati. "The removable hats were a nice touch."

Engie laughed, pulling one of two green top hats off, revealing the horns that topped his mask of Chancellor Cole. "I know! Pretty cool if I do say so myself."

Swallowing a chewy chocolate candy, Time, whose replica of Majora's Mask had been repositioned to the top of his head, grinned at the others. "I think I can safely say that everybody looks pretty creepy tonight," he said cheerfully.

"Except for Sky over there," teased Brown, pointing to his predecessor. "What are you, some kind of weird clown?"

Offended, Sky removed his mask and pouted. "I thought I told you about Ghirahim, Brown."

"You told me he was a demon lord, not a circus freak!"

Some of the newer Heroes - the ones who hadn't heard all of Sky's stories about Ghirahim - laughed at Brown's joke. After a moment's thought, however, Sky got an idea. He smiled wickedly, then put his mask back on.

"Then clearly I haven't told you the _whole_ story," he said with a creepy edge to his voice. He stood. "Don't let appearances deceive you, Brown - he may have looked like a rejected circus act, yes, but behind that tacky makeup was a bloodthirsty sadist - a weapon in every sense of the word who would have wanted nothing more than to _make you suffer_."

The giggling Links fell silent as Sky theatrically crept around and knelt behind Brown, wiggling his fingers as he took his shoulders in his hands.

"You ought to thank your creator goddesses that he was defeated, because if he were here right now..." Sky chuckled darkly as he began to paraphrase his former nemesis. "...He would beat you within an inch of your life, then torture you until your ears bleed from the sound of your own screams!"

He lifted the mask just enough to lash his tongue out at Brown, who screeched and fell over with his arms flailing about. Sky broke character and laughed brightly, along with all of the other Heroes, and Brown picked himself up, brushing off his tunic and turning beet red under his mask.

"Okay, all right," he grumbled, "point taken."

Twilight reached over, offering Sky a high five for his performance. "Nice one!" he laughed.

"Thanks!" The elder Hero raised his hand to return the gesture, when a sudden pop and a bright light interrupted him. He lifted his mask again and looked up at the sky. "Wow, is it midnight already?"

"Guess so!" answered Light, taking a cookie from a bag and eating it. The others followed suit - removing their masks, they watched as fireworks colored the starry night skies of their heavenly realm.


	86. Dear Diary

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Dear Diary**_

"Green!" called Engie breathlessly as he rushed over, clutching a small, leather-bound book in his hand and waving it around over his head. "Green, I got it!"

Green looked up, breaking into a big grin when he saw the book. "No way," he said, "you got Sky's diary?"

The younger Hero stopped in front of Green and nodded furiously. "Yeah, that lazy bum was keeping it in his pillowcase." He smirked. "What a lousy hiding spot!"

Chuckling, Green took the book from Engie's hands. "Yeah, he may be the eldest, but he's still an airhead sometimes." He looked down at the diary in expectation. "I bet this thing has eons' worth of juicy secrets!"

"Yeah, and who knows?" added Engie with a mischievous wink, "We may find dirt on the others, too!"

"Yeah!" Undoing the small clasp on the cover, Green opened the book and flipped to the first page. When the two saw what was written, however, their faces immediately fell.

"Um," said Engie after a short moment of silence, "is that supposed to be Hylian? I can't read it…"

"No," answered Green as he flipped through the pages, "it's the Skyloftian alphabet!" He scowled, unable to find even a single paragraph written in modern Hylian. "That sneaky bastard wrote it this way on purpose - he knew none of the rest of us would be able to read it…!"

"And the only people we could ask to translate it are Sky's friends," Engie said with a pout, "and they'd tell him for sure!"

Green let out a loud, irritated sigh and slammed the book shut. "Well this is just great!" He handed it to the other Link. "Engie, go put this back where you found it before Sky notices it's gone."

"Okay." Engie took the diary, then chuckled a little. "So much for being an airhead, huh? Seems to me he's smarter than you thought."

"You learn something new every day," grumbled Green as he sulked off, leaving Engie to try and return the diary before they got caught with it.


	87. Got Amnesia? Part 1

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Got Amnesia? (Part 1)**_

The Heroes were typically fairly intelligent, perhaps not so much in the way of book smarts, but more in the way of common sense and practical knowledge. Because of this, they usually learned quickly from their mistakes; when an idea of theirs doesn't go as planned, they would most of the time discard the faulty idea and think of something else to try.

Today, however, was not one of those times.

"I got it, I got it!" cried Wind as he leapt up to grab the bright orange block that was flying straight towards him. He caught it successfully, stumbled backwards a bit at its weight, then showed it off with a grin and a wink. "Heheh! Not too shabby, huh, you guys?"

Twilight laughed, waving the Cane of Somaria a little and causing the block Wind caught to disappear - even with his almost non-existent magical ability, he could still summon enough energy to make use of the item. "You're stronger than you look, Wind!" He turned to his left and handed the cane back to its original owner. "Here, Light, it's your turn."

He took it with a broad smirk. "You guys hit like wusses," he said, backing up a good four or five yards. "Let me show you how a _real_ caneball player does it!"

"Is that really what you're calling it?" asked Wind, amused.

"Hey, it's a good name!" Light braced himself, held the cane up, and called over to Twilight. "Your ball, Twilight! Go long!" He then formed a new block in midair and smacked it as hard as his arms would allow him to.

The eldest of the three gaped at the block went soaring over his head. He tried to catch up to it, but it had flown too far and too high for him to reach. He froze when the block arced over a hilltop and out of sight; he then cringed when he heard it land with a sickening crunch.

After a short moment of shocked silence, Light lowered the cane. "What," he asked nervously, "was _that_?"

"Sounds like it hit something," answered Wind, "or... some_one_."

Being the closest to the source of the noise, Twilight swore under his breath and rushed over to where he guessed the block had landed. The other Links noticed and followed suit.

"Twilight!" called Light, "Did you find - "

"Oh, Goddesses," cried Twilight's panicked voice, "it's Time! He's not moving...!"

When Wind and Light caught up with their elder, he was already kneeling over Time, who laid motionless face-down in the grass with his hat and the orange block scattered on the ground nearby. Frantically, Twilight placed his hands on Time's back and began to shake him.

"Time!" he yelled, "Time, wake up!"

Wind shot a glare at Light. "I thought you said playing out in the field wouldn't hurt anybody!"

"H-How was I supposed to know he'd be out here!?" Light shoved the cane back into his pouch, flustered. "And, besides, he can't be hurt too bad - that's how this place works, right?"

They froze when they heard a soft groan from Time, watching as his eyes flickered open. For a few seconds, he stared blankly at the grass, but his awakening was enough to elicit a relieved sigh from Twilight.

"You idiot," he scolded, "don't scare us like that, Time! I almost thought you'd died _again_!"

Time sat up, his eyes readjusting to the world around him as he looked around for the source of the voice. Disturbed by the lack of a response, Twilight spoke again.

"...Time? Time, you in there?"

Finally, Time acknowledged Twilight's presence. He stared at him, blinking a few times and rubbing at his head before opening his mouth. "...Are you talking to _me_...?" But before the other had time to answer, Time let out a loud gasp of realization. "Wait, where's Navi?" He turned to and fro, calling his former partner's name. "Navi! Navi, where are you!?"

"Geez, Time, will you calm down!?" bellowed Twilight as he grabbed his predecessor's upper arms. "Navi's not even visiting today!"

"Why are you calling me that!?" asked Time, struggling weakly against his grip, "My name's _Link_!"

At that, the other three Heroes' eyes went wide in horror. Twilight's hands slipped off of the confused Link's arms, then Wind approached, bending over slightly so that he was at eye level with Time.

"Time - uh, I mean, Link," he began, his voice laced with dread, "what's the last thing you remember doing?"

"Um..." Time rubbed his head again, struggling to think in his dazed state. "Lake... Lake Hylia. Navi said the Water Temple was underwater, and I was going to... to..."

He was interrupted when Twilight stood, yanking the clearly very confused Hero up with him and dragging him away by the wrist.

"W-Wait!" Time said, "Where are you taking me!? I have to find Navi...!"

"To somebody who'll know what to do with you!" He turned to the other two. "Don't just stand there - help me get him to Sky's house!"

Regaining their composure, Light and Wind nodded and followed them.

* * *

><p>"Amnesia?" asked Light incredulously, "How the hell can he get amnesia? I thought we couldn't get injured or sick in this place!"<p>

"Not permanently," Sky answered as he looked at his successor sternly. "You can still feel pain and get sick momentarily - you know that."

"That doesn't explain why Time suddenly thinks he's running around Hyrule with Navi!"

Sky frowned. "Do you know how heavy the blocks the Cane of Somaria makes are?" He crossed his arms. "With the way you hit it, Light, it would have killed Time if he wasn't already dead. It's no wonder his memories are scrambled!"

"He said playing in the open field wouldn't hurt anybody!" spat Wind, who also gave Light an angry stare.

"Don't start; you're just as much to blame as Light!" Sky sighed and sulked deeply. "...His head will sort everything out again soon; I'd say after a few hours, or a day at most." He pointed an authoritative finger at the two. "But just because this isn't permanent doesn't mean you all shouldn't learn from this! No more caneball, got that?"

Light lowered his head, with Wind following shortly after. "Yeah," said Light guiltily, "no more caneball."

Wind looked back up. "A-Anyway... you think Twilight's really going to help him remember something?"

"If anybody can jog his memory," said Sky, leaning against the wall and looking at the door to the room Time and Twilight were in, "it's his own protégé. At the very least, he can keep Time calm until he's better."

"Let's hope."

Light keep looking down at his boots. Then, he sighed - who knew his innocent little game of catch could have gone so wrong?

* * *

><p>Time slowly sipped his glass of milk, a token of good will from Twilight to prove that he meant the amnesiac Hero no harm. "So," he said, a little unsure, "Navi's here, too? And she's going to come back?"<p>

"Yeah," said Twilight with a nod, "as soon as we can find her, we'll bring her right to you, okay?"

With a relieved sigh, Time smiled slightly. "Good," he said, "I can't go back to Hyrule without her." He looked out the window in nervous wonder. "...Where is this place, anyway?"

"It's, uh..." Twilight gulped - how was he going to explain everything? Time was mentally just a child at the moment, with no knowledge that he had lived, died, and resided here for eons. How would he tell a little kid that he was already dead, and before he thought his journey was done, at that? "...It's a, um, parallel world to Hyrule." That answer wasn't a _complete_ lie at least, he thought.

"Parallel?"

"It means it exists side by side with Hyrule," explained Twilight, "you just can't see it from there."

"Oh." Time turned back and tilted his head. "And... you said your name is Link, too?"

"Uh-huh. You can call me Twilight, though - it's what everybody else calls me."

"And how come you're wearing Kokiri clothes?"

"N-No, no, these aren't Kokiri clothes," Twilight said, waving his hands and shaking his head, "they're, um... hand-me-downs!"

Time lifted an eyebrow in confusion. This caused the younger Hero to place his palm over his face and sigh.

"...Look, time and space are kind of weird here." He lowered his hand and attempted to make up a suitable explanation to him on the spot. "See... I'm from the future."

"You are?" asked Time, his expression quickly transforming from suspicious bewilderment into amazement.

Twilight nodded. "In fact," he said with a small grin, "I'm your descendent, and that's why I'm named after you. It's why I look like you, too."

"Descendent? What's that mean?"

"It means you had kids," Twilight explained, "and then those kids had kids, and then _those_ kids had _more_ kids, and so on and so on, until I was born." Content that his explanation seemed to satisfy Time's curiosity, he relaxed a little. "So you're basically my distant grandfather, and I'm your distant grandson. Got that?"

The other Hero's eyes widened as he listened. "So, you're saying..." he quickly began turning red, "...I'm gonna have a baby one day?"

"Y...Yes...?"

"B-But that means - " he gasped and placed a hand on one burning hot cheek, " - that means I'm gonna get married, right!? Navi said that when people get married they have babies!"

Unsure as to where this line of conversation was going, Twilight gulped. "Y-Yeah, that's basically how it works - "

Suddenly, Time shot up, slamming his hands on the table and staring down the younger Link. "Th-Then," he stammered, "who is it!? Who am I gonna marry and have the baby with, huh!?"

"Huh!?" Twilight recoiled and shook his head. "I, uh, I don't think I should be - "

"Don't tell me it's Ruto!" he said, "Th-that engagement thing was a mistake!"

"Look, Link, I'm not - "

"But, wait," Time turned away slightly and began speaking more to himself, "Navi joked about Princess Zelda being my girlfriend... could it be her?" He turned an even brighter red as he ran through all of the possibilities. "A-And Talon asked if I wanted to marry Malon, too... and Saria - no, Saria's a Kokiri, and Kokiri can't have babies like Hylians do..." He lowered his voice a little. "Maybe it's Sheik...?"

"Of course it's not Sheik!" said Twilight, flustered, "You can't have babies with other men!"

Time turned back, looking genuinely shocked at that information. "I can't?"

This time Twilight slapped both palms to his face. "Sweet Golden Goddesses," he groaned to himself, "_help me_."

Indeed, until Time's memory came back, it was going to be a long, rough day of _babysitting _his ancestor.


	88. Got Amnesia? Part 2

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Got Amnesia? (Part 2)**_

Time's sudden and drastic amnesia came as a shock to his fellow Links. As the third eldest Legendary Hero, Time was looked up to by those who came after him as a paragon of fortitude and an example of how any hardship could be overcome. Now, however, he stood among them as a naive child, one they all had to look after until he regained his lost memories; which, hopefully, would occur sooner rather than later.

At the moment, Engie and Mini were with the amnesiac Hero of Time, distracting him with stories and showing him how to use the various items from their own journeys. Like a small child in a toy store, he eagerly tried out everything - he flipped over rocks with the Cane of Pacci, stole Engie's hat with his own whip ("This is a lot more fun than doing it with a fishing rod!" he mused), and even attempted to put on a pair of pegasus boots (they were too small for his adult-sized feet, much to his disappointment). Now, however, he was busy entertaining himself with Engie's pinwheel, blowing away the leaves scattered about the ground and grinning as they flew around in the air. And though watching the eons-old Time play around so childishly was a little unnerving, the other two Heroes also thought it was kind of endearing.

Time inhaled deeply, then blew again into the pinwheel, causing red and orange leaves to flutter about. He lowered the item, reached out to catch one of the leaves, then turned back to Mini and Engie, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "Wow, and I thought I got some cool stuff on _my_ adventure!" He waved the pinwheel around a little. "I could play with this thing all day!"

Engie snickered. "Yeah, it's pretty fun to use, isn't it?" He walked over and reached for his item back. "You'll run out of breath if you use it too much, though."

The elder Hero pouted. "But I want to try it some more..."

"Hey, come on, we've got plenty of other stuff to show you!"

Time looked at the pinwheel once more, pondering. Then, he smiled and gave it back. "Okay. But you've gotta let me show it to Navi when she gets here!"

With a sheepish smile, Engie put the pinwheel back in his pouch. "Don't worry, I will."

"...Hey, when is Navi gonna get here, anyway?"

From a few feet away, Mini spoke up. "Sky's out looking for her right now," he assured him; though he knew that finding one fairy within the entirety of the afterlife would take quite a while, and that wasn't counting the time it would take for her to yell at them all for letting Time lose his memory in the first place. "You'll see her soon, I promise."

Time's face fell slightly. "Are you sure?" His gaze fell to his boots. "I miss her... I don't think I've been away from her this long since... ever."

"Mini and Sky are like big brothers to us," said Engie. "If they say they're going to do something, they'll definitely keep their word."

The forlorn Link nodded a little. "You guys are all really nice," he said, sitting down, crossing his legs, and drawing circles in the grass, "...but I've gotta get back to Hyrule somehow. Everyone's still in danger - I still have four Sages left to awaken." He looked back towards Mini. "Am I gonna even be able to go back?"

Mini suddenly found himself at a loss for words, as did Engie, who exchanged glances with him. They, too, wondered what to say to their friend who had forgotten that he was already dead. After a silent moment of pondering, Mini returned his attention to Time, walking over and placing a small hand on his head. He patted it affectionately.

"You'll get to finish your journey," he said, "so don't worry about that."

Time blinked. "How do you know that? Are you from the future, too?"

"There's a lot of things I know," replied Mini with a smile. "I know that you'll awaken all of the Sages and that all of Hyrule will be safe because of you. You'll be remembered throughout the ages as the Hero of Time who saved everybody, and one day, when your time in Hyrule has ended, the goddesses will reward you greatly for your deeds!"

"They... They will?" asked Time, his eyes widened.

Mini nodded. "That's what They've promised to Their chosen ones."

At this, Time beamed. "I'm really gonna save everybody... wow, wait until Navi hears about - " Suddenly, he winced, holding a hand to his head.

Lowering his own hand, Mini frowned in worry. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I dunno," muttered Time, "my head feels funny..."

"We should get him to a bed," said Engie, walking over to help his elder up to his feet. "Come on, you need to get some rest."

Time groaned as he stood. "Where's Twilight?" He said, rubbing his eyes, "I wanna go to his house."

The other two Links looked at each other, wondering for a moment why he had asked for Twilight specifically. Perhaps he'd begun to remember things again?

* * *

><p>"Twilight," came a whiny voice from behind the door along with a loud series of knocks. "Twilight, are you there? <em>Twiliiiiight<em>...!"

Startled, Twilight looked away from the book on potions and herbal remedies he had been perusing all afternoon and towards the door. He knew Sky had said that Time would get better on his own, but he had been worried enough to do the research in case he didn't. He stood quickly, walked to the door, and opened it, revealing a lethargic and slightly pale Time, who immediately began to whine at him.

"My head hurts," he groaned, "and I feel weird."

Twilight gulped nervously. "Oh, hell..." He touched Time's head, which felt warm to the touch. "You're burning up, too... dammit, I knew this would happen!"

"Mini and Engie said I needed to lay down," whimpered Time, "can I sleep in your house?"

"Eh? Um, sure, of course." He wondered why Engie and Mini hadn't simply taken him to his own house, but he took Time's wrist and began leading him regardless. "You can use my bed."

"I can?"

"Yeah."

Time smiled drowsily. "Thanks, Twilight. You're the best descendent ever."

Twilight found himself slightly flustered by the remark. "You're... you're welcome, I guess." He reached his bed and pulled back the covers, allowing Time to sit down while he reached down to remove his sickly senior's boots. "How come you came here, anyway? To my house, I mean."

"'Cause we're family, right?" answered Time. "It's weird, but I kinda feel like we know each other already - like you've been with me for a really long time." He yawned loudly. "Mini said I'm gonna go back to Hyrule and save everybody, but, after that... I can come see you again, right?"

The younger Hero stared at him for a moment, then sighed, relieved - maybe he really would start remembering everything soon. He nodded. "Yeah," he said, "you'll see me again."

"And the others, too?"

"And the others, too."

Time laid down and lazily pulled the blankets over him. He closed his eyes and smiled. "Okay."

Twilight smiled slightly, then turned to leave the room and quietly shut the door. Before he could close it completely, however, he heard yet another pathetic whine.

"...Twilight?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm thirsty."

The younger Link sighed again, this time in slight irritation, then wandered into the kitchen to get a glass of water.

* * *

><p>Time slept well into the evening, and though Twilight had planned to wait for him to awaken, he nevertheless found himself dozing off on the couch. When he next opened his eyes, it was late into the morning, and when he went to check on Time, the bed was already empty.<p>

Dreading that perhaps his confused ancestor had gotten himself into more trouble, he grabbed his hat from where it had fallen off onto his couch, put it on, then headed towards the door. When he opened it, however, Duo was already standing on his porch, huffing slightly.

"Sky told me to come get you," he said breathlessly, "I came as fast as I could!"

"What?" Twilight tensed. "Did something happen to Time?"

"That's the thing," Duo answered with a slight grin, "he's all better now!"

Twilight immediately brightened at the news. "He is? Well, where is he!?"

"He's with Sky at his house," said Duo, beckoning Twilight to follow him. "Come on!"

Eager to see his mentor as his usual self once again, Twilight shut the door behind him and began following Duo down the road. When they arrived at Sky's house, there was already quite a scene going on - Time and Sky were hovering over Wind and Light, who were on their hands and knees with their foreheads pressed against the ground in an apparent gesture of prostration. Green and his personas, meanwhile, were watching from a distance, with Green, Blue, and Vio snickering at the sight.

"Looks like they're already getting yelled at," chuckled Duo bashfully as they approached the Heroes of the Four Sword.

"'Yelled at' is an understatement," sneered Blue, "they're getting completely and utterly _chewed out_."

Red was not joining his alternates in their mockery, however. "But that's okay, right?" he said, wiping away a few happy tears. "I mean, Time's back to normal! I was so scared he'd - "

Vio pressed a hand against Red's mouth to silence him as Time's stern voice continued to berate Wind and Light.

"Honestly, what were you thinking, tossing around something that dangerous!?" He crossed his arms. "You're Legendary Heroes, for Din's sake! You ought to know better!"

"W-We're sorry!" whimpered Wind, his voice muffled from speaking directly into the ground, "We won't do it again!"

"Forgive us, Honorable Predecessor!" added Light.

"I hope you two have learned your lesson," said Sky, pointing at the two repenting Links. "I'll say it again - _no more caneball, ever_! Are we clear?"

"Yes sir!"

Sky nodded firmly, then turned to Time. "So, have they prostrated themselves enough for your liking, Time?"

Time tapped his chin in thought for a moment, then spoke. "I suppose." He reached down and pulled Light and Wind up by their tunics, turning and dragging the two away. "Now get up, you two! Goddesses almighty, I have half a mind to - "

When he locked eyes with Twilight, however, Time stopped, his icy glare turning into a sadistic grin. "Ah, Twilight," he said, letting go of the other two and storming towards his successor, "I was wondering when you'd show up...!"

Twilight froze in place, a terror that could have only been brought about by an angered Time gripping him. "I-I - "

Still grinning, Time elbowed his protege in the stomach, causing him to keel over. Then, he shoved him down further to his knees. "Don't think you can get away with this just because you were so kind to me yesterday!" He stomped on Twilight's back, forcing him to the floor in a position similar to Wind and Light's. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself! You're a disgrace to your fellow Heroes, and you're a disgrace to your ancestors...!"

"For - " Twilight coughed, " - Forgive me, Teacher! I-I was wrong! This was my fault, too...!"

"You're damn right it's your fault!" Time dug his heel further into Twilight's back. "From now on, you're running double your usual laps during training! Got that!?"

Twilight let out a pathetic, pained croak. Meanwhile, Green glanced over to Vio.

"Hey, is it just me, or is Time enjoying this way too much?"

Vio shrugged. "I always did think he had a bit of a sadistic streak."

"I-In any case," said Duo, "the important thing is that Time's back to normal, right? Hopefully, nothing like this will happen again."

Twilight choked back on a sob as his predecessor continued to dish out his punishment, and suddenly he found himself wishing for the sweet and innocent Time from yesterday to come back.


	89. The Art Of Sky-Tipping

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**The Art Of Sky-Tipping**_

Engie stretched his arms above his head, sighing as he then dropped them loosely to his sides. "This'll be fun," he said, flashing a grin at the newer Hero beside him. "For once, I'm not the baby of the group anymore, and I'll get to be the one showing someone the ropes!"

With a small laugh, Brown scratched at his nose. "Yeah," he muttered, "must feel nice not being the designated newbie anymore, huh?"

"It really does!" Engie gave him a pat on his back. "But don't worry, Brown, you won't be at the bottom of the food chain for very long. Soon enough, you'll be helping a new Hero get settled in just like we are with you."

Brown looked at his smaller elder. "How soon are we talking about?"

"Oh," answered Engie with a shrug, "a couple of centuries at least."

"A couple of _centuries_!?"

"Trust me, time goes by pretty quickly when you're dead."

"It's still like forever to me - "

"_Shh_!"

Brown let out a muffled yelp as Engie's hand moved to cover his mouth. After giving the elder Hero an irritated look, he saw him pointing towards a bench that was no more than a few feet away.

"Check it out," he said in a hushed voice, "it's Sky."

The newest Hero tilted he head at the sight - indeed, it was Sky, and he seemed to be sleeping, his mouth half-open and his head lolling lazily over his shoulder. This in and of itself wasn't very impressive - even Brown knew that Sky was the resident sleepyhead - but when he noticed that he had managed to fall asleep sitting straight up, he let out an ugly snort.

"Wow," he said, "falling asleep sitting up? That takes talent."

"And it's the perfect opportunity to show you one of the traditions practiced among us Heroes."

"And what's that?"

"Sky-tipping."

Brown tilted his head. "Sky... tipping?"

Engie winked, holding up a finger to remind him to stay quiet. "It's a game we all play," he began. "Whenever we see Sky fall asleep sitting up, we go up to him and push him over. If we manage to get away before he notices, we win a point." He lowered his hand. "Apparently they've been doing it for thousands of years, and poor Sky just hates it."

"But," said Brown, his smirk returning, "you keep doing it anyway."

"What can I say? It's tradition." Engie moved behind the younger Link and began gently pushing him towards Sky. "And now, it's your turn!"

"Eh? You want me to do it right now?"

"Think of it as your initiation rite." Once they were closer to Sky, he let Brown go. "Remember, you have to run before he catches you, or else you're in for the lecture of your afterlife!"

"All right, all right." Eager to take up the challenge his fellow Hero had given him, he walked to the side of the bench and held out his hands, his tongue protruding slightly from his mouth in mischievous concentration. Then, after an encouraging nod from Engie, he shoved Sky's shoulder, causing him to fall over and hit the bench's seat with a grunt.

Despite himself, Brown let out a loud laugh at his prank. However, when he turned to Engie to ask what was next, the older Link had already vanished. His face fell at the realization that he'd been ditched, and it fell even further when he heard Sky groaning. In a panic, he looked to and fro for a possible escape route, but a large, gloved hand grabbed the collar of his tunic before he could find one.

"Looks like _somebody's_ learning how to Sky-tip," said Sky, his tone a bit _too_ cheerful for Brown's comfort. "Having fun?"

"I-I was..."

"Save it." He let the newcomer go, his face darkening into a threatening smile. "I have enough trouble getting the others to listen to me, so don't go catching their habits. Are we clear?"

Brown gulped. "C...Crystal clear, Sir."

Just ask quickly as it had come, the darkness left Sky's face, and he placed a friendly palm on his successor's head. "Just 'Sky' is fine, you know." He then turned and walked away, acting as if nothing had ever happened, leaving behind a perturbed Brown, who removed his hat and wiped a bead of nervous sweat from his hairline.

"Damn that Engie," he said, yanking his hat back over his hair, "leaving me out to dry like that...!"


	90. Unidentified Flying Heroes

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Unidentified Flying Heroes**_

Despite his relatively short stature, Twilight was in fact quite strong; thus, having Mini sit on his shoulders while balancing himself on his spinner was no problem at all for him. Holding the smaller Hero's knees tightly to keep him from falling off, he glanced up at him with a wry smile.

"You sure you're ready for this?" he asked, half-teasingly, "It might be too fast for a little guy like you!"

Mini huffed indignantly. "Shut up, Twilight; I'm still older than you, remember?" He flashed his own grin. "Besides, the faster, the better - that's what I always say!" He then turned to his left. "Hey, Duo! You got those pegasus seeds ready yet?"

"Uh-huh!" Duo held up his seed satchel for the other two to see, though the look on his face indicated he was slightly worried about the whole idea. "...Though, I'm not even sure if this is going to work..."

"Hey, it worked on the train, didn't it?" asked Mini. He kicked his feet against Twilight's shoulder impatiently. "Now hurry up and use one already!"

Twilight winced. "Ow! Watch it!"

Duo pulled out a single pegasus seed, looked at it nervously, then crouched down beside the spinner. "All right, then, here goes..."

When the seed made contact with the spinner, it immediately shot off across the field, causing Mini and Twilight to shriek in surprise. As they zoomed off together towards the horizon, however, Duo could hear their screams turn into laughter and whooping. He stared for a moment, then smiled slightly and scratched his cheek.

"Well," he mused, "at least they're enjoying themselves, right?"

* * *

><p>"Dammit!" cursed Blue as he threw his bow to the ground indignantly, "How come you guys keep getting bulls-eyes and not me!?"<p>

"Gee, I dunno," said Vio, rolling his eyes as he twirled an arrow around in his hand, "maybe because we're actually _aiming_?"

Green snickered. "Yeah, Blue, maybe if you stopped freaking out for a second you'd have a steady hand!" He nocked another arrow in his bow, drew it, and aimed it at a nearby target. He nearly dropped his weapon, however, when Red's shrill voice interrupted him.

"Guys! Look!" cried Red. He pointed towards the distance, where something was very rapidly approaching them.

Blue squinted his eyes to get a better look. "Is that... Mini and Twilight?"

The others had no time to answer, however; as the spinner and its two riders came to a small hill, it rocketed into the air, quickly gaining altitude and soaring over the Heroes of the Four Sword's heads. After instinctively ducking to avoid them, the four glanced up, watching in awe as Twilight, Mini, and the spinner flew away, their raucous laughter fading the further they went.

Vio uncovered his head. "Well," he said, "_that's_ not something you see every day."

"Wow!" Red pointed again towards the horizon and began jumping up and down like a small, excited child, "Did you see that!? That was so _cool_! We've gotta try that sometime, you guys...!"

Blue grinned. "For once, I agree with Red."

"Maybe Twilight will let us have a turn on that thing!" Green stuffed his bow back in his pouch and motioned for the others to follow him. "Come on!"

The others put away their own bows, and the four Links ran off in the direction where, hopefully, Mini and Twilight would soon land.


	91. Can You Hear Me Now?

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Can You Hear Me Now?**_

"So there I was," said Brown, munching ungracefully on a roasted drumstick as he sat with his legs crossed on the picnic blanket, "little ten-year-old me, who barely even knew how money worked, getting asked by an old man to play his 'money-making game'." He swallowed his food, then immediately took another bite. "I mean, come on, how sleazy do you have to be?"

Time frowned, sticking his fork in his egg salad indignantly. "Yeah, that's pretty sleazy all right." He scoffed. "Introducing a _child_ to gambling like that... what's the world of the living coming to?"

"Maybe," added Light, who had just finished his apple and was leaning forward to address the other two, "that guy was a descendent of that thief who ran the treasure chest game in my time."

"Eh? You mean that con-artist who made fake Master Swords?" asked Time.

"Good grief!" said Brown huffily, waving his drumstick around as he continued, "You mean people were getting away with that way back then, too? Yeah, good idea, guys, scamming _kids_ out of their hard-earned rupees - you know, the money they need to save the _world_ and - "

Suddenly, Light shot up, sitting straight as an arrow as he seemed to be startled by something the other two couldn't perceive. Almost immediately after, however, he relaxed a little, smiling bashfully.

"Ah, Zelda! I-I thought you said you wouldn't startle me like that again!" he chuckled. "...Oh, me? I'm just having lunch with Brown and Time... yeah, they're doing well, I'll tell them you said hello..."

Brown froze, his face contorted into a shocked and slightly scared expression as he watched Light hold out his finger to them, stand, and walk off, continuing his conversation with no one in particular a few yards away. Once he was out of earshot, the younger Hero turned back to Time.

"Wh-What," he stammered, "what the heck was _that_ about!?"

Time snickered at Brown's reaction. "What, you didn't know Light was telepathic?"

"Tele-_what_-now?"

Time took another bite of his egg salad. "He can send and receive messages with his mind," he clarified. "It's how he and his Zelda talk whenever they can't meet in person."

"Hold on," Brown said, his eyes widening slightly in amazement, "you mean he's _psychic_?"

"A lot of us are," the elder Link said, "though not always in that particular way. Sky and I used to have precognitive dreams when we were alive, though it was usually triggered by an evil presence of some sort. It's not that unusual, really."

"That's really cool..." said Brown. His amazement turned into jealousy, however, as he pouted angrily. "So, how come you guys get awesome psychic powers and I don't, huh?"

Time shrugged. "You have Hylian blood just like the rest of us; otherwise you wouldn't be able to use magic so well. So, who knows? Maybe you already do."

"Oh, good point!" At this Brown grinned. "Hey, Time, I'm gonna see if I can read your mind!"

Cracking an amused smile of his own, Time nodded. "All right, Brown; what am I thinking right now?"

The newest Hero shut his eyes in intense concentration for a moment before opening them again. "Aha! You're thinking about how I can't possibly be reading your mind right now, aren't you?"

"How did you know?"

"What!? I guessed right!?"

"Nah, I'm just messing with you," said Time with a smirk as he took one last bite of his food, "I was actually thinking about how good this egg salad was."

Brown's expression immediately darkened. "Twilight was right," he muttered in disappointment, "you really are mean."


	92. Lean Mean Killing Machine

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Lean Mean Killing Machine**_

Red turned the helmet over in his hands, looking upon it with a wonder akin to that of a child with a shiny new toy. It was definitely unlike the ones typical of knights from his own era - three protrusions stuck out from it, the topmost of which was fashioned into a small wolf's head, and as a result the entire helmet was quite heavy. "This is so cool," he said, turning his bright eyes to the others, "I bet you'd have to be really, really strong to wear it around!"

"Careful with that!" scolded Green as his persona carelessly handled the helmet, "Time's gonna get onto all of us if you break it!"

The Hero of Time laughed. "If it broke that easily, it wouldn't be very useful as armor, would it?" Though he would typically wear either the traditional Hero's green or a set of more comfortable clothes, this afternoon he had decided to suit up in the old armor he had worn as a knight captain - for nostalgia's sake, he had told his smaller successors before allowing Red to look at the suit's headgear. He placed a hand on the dulled gold tassets that guarded his hip. "He's fine, Green."

After side-eyeing Red for putting the helmet on and giggling as he struggled to keep his balance under its weight, Blue returned his attention to his senior. "I _guess_ it looks pretty cool," he said, "but you didn't actually wear that thing into battle, did you?"

"What?" asked Time, raising an eyebrow, "Of course I did!" He grinned slightly as he looked towards the horizon. "It protected me while my men and I bravely stormed the plains and mountains of Hyrule, ridding our beautiful nation of the evils that would threaten it." He ran his hand through his matted bangs, now slightly longer in his older form. "Ah, yes, those were the days…"

"Not to disrupt your trip down memory lane, Time," said Vio as dispassionately as ever, "but wouldn't something that clunky only slow you down in the long run?"

Green blinked in realization. "Yeah, Vio's right; it doesn't look like you could run very fast while wearing that."

Time frowned, flustered that the glory he was basking in had been so suddenly and rudely cut short. "Well, yes, it does slow me down a little," he said, "but the defense benefits far outweigh the drawbacks!" He made a proud fist. "Plus, I was captain; I had to stand out as a beacon of courage for my men!"

Blue snickered. "Yeah, bet it raised morale a lot, watching the great Captain Link waddle around like an idiot!"

The elder Hero shot a glare at Blue - however, that glare soon turned into a dark smirk, and he turned to face away from the younger Links. "You know, Blue," he said with an intimidating edge, his hand ever so slowly reaching for the hilt of the sword strapped to his back, "you don't need to be able to move quickly _when you know how to kill a man in a single blow_…!" With that, Time drew his weapon and spun around with a ferocious cry.

Screeching in terror, Blue covered his head and cowered. Then, when he finally glanced back up, he saw Time's blade hovering mere inches from his face. He fearfully fell to his bottom, his heart and breath racing as the others began to laugh at him, which in turned caused Blue to turn a bright shade of crimson and growl at his alternates.

"Sh-Shut up!" he cried, "That wasn't funny…!"

Sheathing his sword, Time ruffled the boy's hair. "Then maybe you ought to think twice before disrespecting your elders!"

Swatting Time's hand away, Blue reached up and yanked his hat over his face. Though he was the rashest part of their collective personality, even he noted to himself that perhaps getting on the bad side of the man who had created and perfected the hidden skills was a bit of a bad idea.


	93. Tis The Season To Be Spiteful

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**'Tis The Season To Be Spiteful**_

Duo blinked. "Is that - "

" - _Ganon_?" finished Light, who looked just as confused as his successor.

Brown smirked, clearly pleased with the very crude yet enormous likeness of the Prince of Darkness he had made out of the snow that now covered their heavenly realm. "It is," he said, giving the snowman - or rather, snowpig - a few pats. "Well, guys? What do you think?"

Sky tilted his head. "It's, uh," he stammered, scratching his cheek with a gloved hand, "it's something, all right..."

"I'm not gonna lie," said Engie, placing a hand on his hip, "I don't get it - of all the things you could have made a snow sculpture out of, why Ganon? I mean, isn't he the one who caused the old Hyrule so much trouble?"

"That's putting it lightly, Engie," added Wind, who adjusted his scarf as he gave Brown and his creation an incredulous look.

Brown simply chuckled. "See, I knew you guys were going to ask me that." He knelt down and began packing some snow together into a ball. "I may be the new guy, but even I know that if there's one thing us Heroes despise, it's Ganon in all of his incarnations." He stood again, smoothing out his snowball and grinning excitedly. "So I thought, since one beating from nearly each us _clearly_ wasn't enough - "

"Aha!" cried Time, a mischievous grin of his own forming as he cracked his knuckles, "I see where you're going with this!" He then began to make his own snowball, causing Twilight to frown at him.

"Seriously, Time?" he said with a cocked eyebrow, "You're going along with this?"

Green snickered gleefully as he too made a snowball. "I think Brown's onto something, Twilight!"

"Yeah!" added Mini, who crouched down on the ground in order to make a small arsenal of snowballs, "Think of all the things he put you and your friends through - a couple of snowballs to the face is the _least_ that pig deserves!"

Running backwards away from his sculpture, Brown wound up his arm. "Exactly!" He tossed the ball at the effigy's face, where it landed with a soft crunch. "That was for being hunted down by your thugs my whole life!"

"And this is for the maidens," said Green, tossing his snowball at the sculpture's shoulder, "and all the knights you cursed!"

Almost immediately after Green's snowball landed, Light hurled one of his own, breaking one of the snow Ganon's tusks. "And that one's for my Uncle!"

"And this is for Sis!" cried Wind as he landed a snowball right on its snout.

Time looked down at his snowball in thought. Then, after realizing that his own grievances with the Evil King could not be summed up into a single snowball, he took two more from Mini's stash. "_This one's_ for stealing my childhood and hurting my friends," he hurled one sharply at the sculpture's gut, "_this one's_ for causing Hyrule to be flooded," he threw another at its left arm, "and _this one_ is for laying your filthy hands on my descendent...!" his last shot managed to completely obliterate the beast's right arm, which made the Hero of Time pump his fist victoriously.

Said descendent couldn't help but smirk at the catharsis desecrating Ganon's likeness seemed to bring his fellow Heroes - maybe Brown really was onto something! He grabbed two more snowballs from Mini's ever-growing pile and took out both of the statue's ears. "That's for hurting the kids," he said, "and for everybody in the Twilight Realm!"

Engie turned his snowball over in his hand. "I never had to fight you," he said, rearing up his pitch, "but you kinda look like Malladus, so it still counts!" He grunted as he hurled his snowy projectile at Ganon's chest.

"Me either, but these are for every one of my successors you've caused problems for!" Mini proceeded to throw his pile of snowballs at the effigy, one for each Hero who had to fight the dark beast.

"And these," said Duo, who reached into Mini's stash and also started throwing multiple snowballs with a viciousness that was highly uncharacteristic of him, "are for all of the Princess Zeldas you've kidnapped!"

However, Duo and Mini's onslaught was interrupted by a ferocious battle cry and a blur of metal cutting through the snow Ganon. Its top half crumbled to the ground to reveal Sky, his face contorted into a terrifyingly angry expression, one that stunned his successors into silence. Giving his blade a seasoned twirl, he sheathed it - then grinned triumphantly from ear to ear.

"And that," he said chipperly, "was for Hyrule."

With that, the other Heroes burst into loud and jubilant cheering.


	94. No Rush Like A Boss Rush, Part 1

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**No Rush Like A Boss Rush, Part 1**_

Though the Heroes' realm was a place of eternal peace with no evil to wage war against, there was still a way for them to relive their glory days and the thrill of battle. Tucked away at the base of a mountain was an arena enchanted with the power to duplicate any enemy from any world and any era simply by willing them into existence; and this arena was where our Heroes would go to truly test their skills, relive their glorious victories, or simply let off steam.

Today's combatants were none other than Light, Duo, and Brown - well, to be more specific, Brown was the one in the fray as his predecessors watched from the sidelines. After kicking the last of the darknut copies off of the end of his blade, the newest Hero grinned in satisfaction as he watched it disappear in a puff of smoke. Then, he turned to the other two, giving his weapon a flashy victory twirl.

"Well?" he asked smugly, "Thirty darknuts in a row - not bad, huh?"

Duo applauded his successor. "Wow, Brown, that was incredible!"

"Yeah, not bad," said Light, who tossed a few kernels of popcorn into his mouth, "but I bet you couldn't have done it without your bombs."

Brown scowled. "What!? Of course I could have!" He waved his sword indignantly at the two. "And I can prove it, too, right here!"

With a wry grin, Light held out his finger and 'tsk'ed. "Even if you could," he said, "it still wouldn't impress me."

"Light!" cried Duo with a frown, "That's really rude!"

"Here me out, Duo," said the eldest of the three before returning his attention to Brown. "We already know you can easily deal with the enemies of your time, Brown - so if you want to really impress me… how about taking on some of the monsters of _my_ era?"

Excited by his challenge, Brown's face brightened. "All right," he said, "bring it on!" He pointed to Light. "Any enemy you want, just name it, and I'll kick the snot out of it!"

Light scratched at his chin as he thought of a suitable challenge for his cocky successor. Then, his eyes flashed evily as he stood from his seat.

"Okay," he said, "you asked for it - _ten Moldorms and a fifteen foot platform…_!"

As he spoke, the ground beneath the younger Hero's feet began to shake. Then, he screeched in surprise as a chunk of the floor rose into the air. Before he could even get his bearings straight, ten copies of the worm-like monster materialized into existence, and they immediately began crawling around the platform in random directions.

Brown suddenly felt one of the Moldorms bump into him, sending him flying straight into the tail of another. Swearing loudly, he took a swing at the nearby creature; however, this triggered a chain reaction, sending Brown screaming all over the platform, bouncing off Moldorms left and right, before he was finally shoved off of the edge and sent tumbling towards the ground.

Duo gasped loudly when he landed. "Oh, Goddesses, Brown!" He glared at Light. "Light, what were you thinking!? You knew that was going to happen, didn't you!?"

Once Light finished his laughing fit he replied. "Relax, it's not like he can get hurt or anything." He chuckled and shook his head. "Nothing humbles the spirit quite like a platform full of Moldorms!" Finally, he hopped down from his seat and walked over to help the sore loser to his feet.


	95. Can't We All Just Get Along?

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Can't We All Just Get Along?**_

Mini placed a hand on his hip, his face falling into an irritated, confused expression. "_Really_, you guys?" he asked incredulously, "Is this what you're going with?"

Time and Twilight stayed stubbornly silent and turned their heads away from their senior. Time sat perched on a boulder, wiping down his sword with a small cloth; meanwhile, Twilight was leaning against a tree in a perpetual sulk with his arms crossed. Between the two of them, carved into the ground, was a dividing line which kept both Heroes from approaching each other. Clearly, they were angry at each other over something - and, clearly, they had chosen the most childish means of settling their differences they could possibly think of.

Rolling his eyes, Mini groaned slightly. "You're acting like little kids," he said, "I thought we were all supposed to be mature adults around here!"

Time shut his eyes and frowned deeply. "Don't look at me," he said, "I'm not the one acting like a disrespectful, entitled little _brat_."

Twilight scoffed. "Whatever! I'll stop acting 'disrespectful' when _he_ stops thinking he can boss me around!"

"Both of you, cork it!" The elder Hero's glare softened slightly. "...Come on, you've been over this hundreds of times already. Deep down, no matter how angry you get at each other, you're still the closest out of any of us." He turned to Twilight. "I know you admire Time a lot, and you'd do anything to make him proud."

"N-No I don't!" Twilight cried, his cheeks turning slightly pink. "And no I wouldn't!"

"And you, Time," said Mini, turning to address him as well, "you've watched over Twilight since before he was even born - he's like a son to you! Don't tell me one little disagreement is going to make you forget all that!"

Time simply grumbled, his scowl turning into a more flustered expression.

"So, what do you say?" Mini said hopefully, "Let's kiss and make up and call it a day, all right?"

The two grouchy Heroes took a quick glance at each other, then huffed simultaneously, turning their backs as they did so. At this, Mini became irate again, then reached into his pouch and began fishing around for something.

"Okay, then," he said, pulling out his trusty gust jar and aiming it towards Time, "you asked for it...!"

Time gasped as he felt a strong wind pulling him off of his boulder; then, with a screech, he dropped his sword and tumbled towards Mini, getting stuck on the gust jar's mouth in the process. Mini then turned towards Twilight, launching Time straight at him before he could even react. They collided, first into each other and then into the tree Twilight had been leaning on, and finally fell to the ground in a tangled heap.

Grinning triumphantly to himself, Mini put the gust jar back in his pouch. "Let me know when you guys decide to play nice!" He then sauntered off, leaving the younger two Heroes to wallow in their little pile.

"Oww..." groaned Twilight. He turned his head to face Time. "...The hell just happened?"

"I don't know," replied Time, rubbing the spot where he had knocked heads with his successor.

When the two saw just how awkwardly they'd landed on top of each other, however, they began to appreciate the humor in the situation. Finally, they laughed, forgetting all about their little family feud in the process.


	96. Check Your Privilege, Family-Having Scum

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Check Your Privilege, Family-Having Scum**_

Light hummed contentedly as his lifted his soup bowl to his lips and drink what remained of the broth. When he was done, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Wow, Wind," he said turning to his left with a bright smile, "I think this is your Grandma's best batch of soup yet! And that's really saying something."

With a proud chuckle and a grin, Wind dipped his spoon into his own bowl. "Thanks! I'll be sure to tell her." He took another small slurp of soup. "She chopped up an extra clove of garlic by mistake, but I think it actually tastes better that way!"

"Maybe she ought to change the recipe, then!" Mini said before letting out a short belch and placing his empty bowl on the patio floor beside him. "Either way, we always enjoy when she cooks for the rest of us; she's so sweet to think of us like that!"

"I know!" Wind's nose turned slightly red in flattery - he had always taken compliments for his family with a great amount of pride. "She's the sweetest, most hardworking person I know."

"Well, she raised you right, so that's probably a given," said Light, leaning back on the palms of his hand and grinning slightly. "Reminds me of my uncle - he was always so warm and playful with me, but he also worked hard to take good care of me in my parents' stead. I don't know where I would have wound up without him!"

Mini leaned forward to add his piece. "My grandfather was like that, too," he said, "only he was kind of a stickler for discipline." He beamed and gave a thumbs up. "Taught me everything he knew about stoking fires and hammering blades, heheh!"

"He even left the smithy to you when he died, didn't he?" said Wind. "You got really good at that sort of thing; I bet he's really proud of - "

Suddenly, Light's face fell into a flat expression, his sixth sense detecting the strangest hint of malice in the air. He turned his head towards Wind, then grimaced, with Mini following suit.

"...Guys?" asked Wind. When he turned around to see what they were looking at, however, he screamed, bolting out of his seat in the process. "_Ack_!"

Behind him were two of the other Heroes, Time and Brown, glaring at the three in an uncharacteristically dark manner. With a scowl, Time rested his hand on his hip.

"Must have been nice," he said with a hint of passive-aggression, "being raised by family."

"Yeah," spat Brown with his arms crossed, "_real _nice."

Without another word, the two walked away, leaving Mini, Light, and Wind to stare at each other in both bewilderment and the slightest bit of guilt. An awkward silence ensued, which was then followed by a nervous laugh from Mini.

"Guess we ought to be thankful, huh?" he said, "For our families, I mean."

The other two nodded, glancing back at their fellow Heroes who had not been as lucky before finally hanging their heads in shame.


	97. No Rush Like A Boss Rush, Part 2

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**No Rush Like A Boss Rush, Part 2 **_

Wind sheathed his blade with a flourish as the last of the Phytops copy's remains disintegrated in a puff of smoke. Then, when he heard the sound of slow applause coming from behind him, he turned.

"That was great," said Engie as he clapped for his predecessor. "Just as expected from the legendary Hero of Winds!"

With a chuckle, Wind waved his hand dismissively. "Nah," he said, "it was way too easy. I could've won that battle in my sleep!" He tossed the whip, which he had borrowed for this particular fight, back to its original owner. "Here you go, Engie - I can use my own bow for the next fight."

Engie caught the weapon effortlessly, then stuffed it back into his pouch. "Still, though, you beat it a lot quicker than I did." He turned his attention back to Wind, admiration sparkling in his eyes. "How'd you figure out what to do so easily, anyway?"

"Well, that's easy," replied Wind, "I just went for the eye, like I always do."

"Like you always do?"

"Of course! Every Hero knows that a monster's eyes are usually its weakest points. It's just common knowledge!"

Engie opened his mouth in realization. "Yeah... yeah, you're right!" He grinned knowingly. "Lots of monsters have that weak spot, don't they? Like Gohmas!"

"It's not just Gohmas either," added Wind, holding up his fingers to count as he listed more names. "There's Arrghus, Vitreous, Bongo-Bongo, Bilocyte, Scaldera - "

"Oh, oh, what about Digdogger? And Vaati, too!"

"Don't forget Bellum!" laughed Wind, "That creep was covered in eyes that were just _begging_ to be poked out!"

Engie began to laugh as well. "Seriously, you'd think by now they'd evolve goggles or something!"

"Come on, Engie, be real," said Wind, "no amount of eye protection is gonna keep them safe from us Links!" He stretched his arms in preparation for his next battle. "You said Cragma was up next, right?"

"Yeah," replied Engie with a nod and a wry grin, "and I bet you'll _never_ guess where his weak point is."

Wind snickered. "Oh, I think I have an idea already." He fished his bow out of his pouch, then waited for the arena to spawn his next opponent.


	98. Whoever Smelt It, Dealt It

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Whoever Smelt It, Dealt It**_

"Hey, Light, could you pass the rolls over here?"

Light took the small basket of freshly-baked rolls and handed it to Brown. "Sheesh, Brown, you're gonna eat half the basket at this rate."

Brown took two of the rolls and broke one in half. "Hey, first come, first serve," he said, dipping one of the halves into his bowl of bean soup to soak up the broth. He ate it heartily. "Not my fault there's not enough bread for my beans."

"Speaking of," said Duo, eating another spoonful of said beans, "the soup is really good, Brown! I thought you said you didn't cook."

With a wave of his hand, Brown dismissed him. "It's just something I learned to make while camping out," he said, slightly embarrassed. "It's nothing fancy or anything."

"Still," Duo said with a smile, "It's — "

Suddenly, Light's brow wrinkled, and he turned his nose up to the air, sniffing it suspiciously. Then, he gagged, quickly covering his nose and mouth with his hands. "Ugh! What's that _smell_!?"

Confused, Brown took a whiff for himself before pinching his own nose shut. "Goddesses! That _reeks_!"

Light glared at the younger Hero accusingly. "You're so gross! I _knew_ having beans for lunch was a bad idea!"

"Hey! There's no _way_ that was me!" cried Brown, pointing at his predecessor. "It had to have been you!"

"Was not!"

"Uh, guys…"

Light and Brown both turned to Duo, who was holding up the smushed remains of a small, orange-colored, berry-like object. He smiled sheepishly.

"This scent seed fell out of my bag," he said, "and I must have sat on it. Sorry about that."

Brown rolled his eyes. "Well, go throw it away before it makes me puke!"

With a slightly guilty expression, Duo slinked off to do just that. Light, whose hands were still clasped firmly over his nose, groaned.

"Of all the plant life Farore created," he muttered, "what made Her think that _seeds that smell like a dodongo's turd_ were a good idea!?"

"A weird sense of humor," said Brown, going over to a window and opening it to let the room air out, "that's what I think."


	99. Got Milk?

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Got Milk?**_

The Heroes were never left wanting for food or drink in the world beyond; they merely had to check their pantries for whatever food or ingredients they ever needed. However, for Twilight, who was raised in the pastoral farming culture of Ordon, there was nothing more satisfying than delighting in the fruits of his own labor. Even now, he would often grow his own food, gather his own eggs, and milk his own goats - after all, he always knew that food tastes the best when you've farmed it yourself!

However, today's milking routine was slightly different; Duo had decided to tag along, his curiosity being piqued after listening to the elder Hero's stories of working on a goat farm. Of course, Twilight was more than willing to show him how the finest of Ordon's dairy products were cultivated, so he naturally agreed. After gathering everything they needed at the barn next to the horse stables, they headed to the pasture where the goats and cows grazed and got to work.

"There we go," said Twilight with a smile as he lovingly scratched the head of one of his goats, right underneath the large, circular horns marking it as a distinctly Ordonian breed. "Good girl!"

The goat bleated happily before dunking her head into the bucket of feed that had been laid before her. Then, Twilight took a seat on a step stool they'd brought from the barn and held his hand out to Duo.

"Hand me that wet rag, will you?" he asked, "I need to clean off her teats before I can milk her."

Duo blinked in confusion as he handed over the damp washcloth. "Her what?"

Twilight laughed. "You know, her teats! Where the milk comes out!" He reached underneath the goat, wiping down her udder and teats in a gentle massage. "This'll get rid of all that dirt and gunk - you don't want any of it falling into the bucket while you're milking!"

"Oooh." Duo watched as he continued his work, whistling a small tune as he cleaned the goat. Afterwards, he sat the rag down and reached over to grab the milk pail. He situated it underneath the goat, then used his free hand to give the animal a few affectionate pats.

"Okay," he said chipperly, "let's milk you!"

With that, Twilight took one of the goat's teats in each hand and gently squeezed. He directed the first squirts of milk onto the grass - "Gotta get the dirtier milk out first," he explained to Duo - then skillfully began squeezing the rest into the bucket.

The younger Link's mouth opened slightly in amazement. "You make it look so easy!" he said, leaning onto his knees to get a closer look. "And it doesn't hurt the goat at all?"

"'Course not!" said Twilight proudly, "As long as you don't tug the teats, she'll be happier than a - "

"Hey, look! Isn't that Time over there?"

Twilight stopped his milking and looked across the pasture. Indeed, Time was there, standing next to a Lon Lon cow with his ocarina in hand. After giving the cow a small pat, he brought the instruments to his lips, and the two could faintly hear the notes of Epona's Song as he played. Finally, to their shock and amazement, Time replaced the ocarina in his pouch and took out an empty bottle, then squatted down to collect the cow's milk in it! His fresh milk in hand, Time corked the empty bottle and walked off, leaving his successors completely baffled.

"...Twilight?" asked Duo, "What just... how did he...?"

Twilight look of shock quickly turned into a scowl. "Okay, now that just ain't right!" He stood, pointing towards Time and yelling at him. "Ya hear me, Time!? That ain't right! That's not how you're supposed to milk animals, ya big fat _cheater_!"

Time, however, did not seem to hear him. As his form disappeared over the horizon, Duo turned back to the elder Link and smiled sheepishly.

"Don't worry, Twilight!" he said, "I'm sure it's better when it's milked by hand... right...?"

Twilight simply scoffed and returned to his seat, grumbling to himself as he went back to work.


	100. It's Just A Game, You Should Just Relax

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

**(Note: Due to the fact that "Chapter 1" is an FAQ, this is the 99****th**** HVS story. The special multi-part 100****th**** story is coming soon!)**

_**It's Just A Game, You Should Really Just Relax**_

The Heroes did not technically need sleep in the world beyond - if they so wished, they could stay awake as long as they wanted to with no ill side effects. That said, what would an eternal rest be without, well, rest? Each of the Links shared a propensity for sleep, and there wasn't a single one among them who would have voluntarily given it up!

This propensity was what gave Sky a reason to worry one night. Glancing out his window, he spotted a familiar tuft of strawberry blond hair sitting on a bench outside, gazing out at nothing in particular. He lifted an eyebrow in confusion; Light was not typically one for stargazing! His brotherly instincts kicking in - as the eldest of the group, he couldn't simply turn a blind eye to any of his successors' sadness or discomfort - he slipped on a pair of socks and headed outside.

As he stepped away from his porch, Sky could more clearly see what the younger Link was doing. With a warm blanket draped over his shoulders and a mug in his hands, Light was simply staring blankly towards the horizon. Sky frowned at the sight; then, he approached Light, placing a hand on his shoulder in concern.

"Something wrong, Light?"

With a startled gasp, Light jumped at the touch, nearly spilling his coffee in the process. He turned, then, seeing it was only his predecessor, sighed deeply.

"...Sorry," he sheepishly, "I guess I lost track of time."

"Lost track?" asked Sky, his frown deepening. "Just how long have you been sitting here, exactly?"

The younger Hero thought for a short moment. "I dunno," he said, "two hours, maybe?"

"You've been out here for _two hours_? Just _staring_?"

Growing slightly flustered at Sky's concern, Light winced. "I wasn't _staring_," he said, "I was just thinking about stuff, that's all..."

Sky sat down beside him, giving him the same comforting look he gave every Hero when they tried to hide their problems from him. "What kind of 'stuff'?" he asked.

Light sighed. "I knew you'd ask that." He looked down towards his coffee, which by now had already grown quite cold. "...So I was lying in bed, and suddenly I start thinking about fairies."

"...Fairies?" asked Sky with a cocked eyebrow.

"Yes! Fairies!" Light quickly looked back at his predecessor, his eyes wide in frenzied horror. "How did they get out of the bottles when we fell in battle!? We were unconscious - we couldn't have possibly opened the bottle to let them out!"

Taken aback by his sudden outburst, Sky recoiled slightly. "Uh, well, I think that's - "

"So I came out here to try and figure it out," continued Light, "but then - then I got reminded of Time's story with the Deku Princess in Termina. How the hell did she even get inside that bottle!? It's way too small to fit a Deku Scrub - it should be impossible!"

"Light, I'm pretty sure you're - "

"And those aren't the only only things that don't make sense! How come a two-hundred rupee wallet can fit two-hundred green rupees but only four purple rupees!? Why did the Zoras become Rito during the Great Flood when they could have just adapted to salt water instead!? _How the hell does a six-pound duck carry a person from one corner of Hyrule to the other!?_" His hands began to shake as his ravings continued. "These things shouldn't have happened! They don't make any sense! They go against common logic and all of Nayru's natural laws! They just - "

"_Light_!"

The younger Link froze when he felt Sky take a firm hold of his shoulders. Once he knew he'd gotten his successor's attention, Sky continued.

"...I think you need to go to bed."

"But, Sky - "

"Some things just aren't meant to be answered logically," said Sky, lifting Light from his seat and guiding him back towards his house. "Chalk it up to the will of the gods."

Light glanced back towards the elder Link, confused and unsure. Then, finally, after a long pause, he turned his blank stare towards the road. "...You're right," he muttered, "bed - bed sounds good right about now, yeah..."

Sky snorted slightly. "I thought as much." Poor thing, he thought - maybe one day he would learn not to sweat the small stuff so much.


	101. The Centennial Hero's Ball, Part 1 of 2

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

****(Happy 100th story everybody! A massive thank you to all my readers who have supported me over the past year, I appreciate each and every one of you!)****

****_**The Centennial Hero's Ball, Part 1 of 2  
><strong>_****

The Links all considered themselves a family of sorts, and like any family, they often enjoyed their meals together as a group. This morning's breakfast was no exception; their table filled to the brim with platefuls of freshly cooked eggs, sizzling sausages, warm bread with butter and jam, tea and coffee prepared to everyone's taste, and, of course, more than enough milk to go around, the Heroes ate heartily and chattered merrily amongst themselves. It was a time of good food and good friends, and each of them enjoyed every moment they got to bask in each other's company.

One member of their little brotherhood, however, was nowhere to be seen, a fact that Duo suddenly realized just as he finished spreading some strawberry jam on a slice of bread. He blinked, scanning the room for a moment before frowning slightly.

"Guys?" he asked, "I don't think Brown's made it yet."

"Yeah, you're right," said Engie, reaching for the coffee pitcher and refilling his mug. "Guess he overslept or something."

Green shrugged. "Ah, well, he snoozes, he loses!" He turned to Twilight with an outstretched arm. "Hey Twilight, pass the sausages, will you?"

Finishing his glass of milk with a satisfied sigh, Twilight wiped his mouth, then handed the plate of sausages to his successor. "Sure thing," he said with a hint of suspicion, "but don't you dare eat all of them like you did last — "

Suddenly, the group heard the dining room door being thrown open and slamming against the wall. They turned their heads towards the noise simultaneously, and there, right on cue, was Brown, his face fixed in a deep, vexed scowl.

"Er," said Sky, his fork still in his hand as he tilted his head curiously, "Brown? What's wrong?"

Brown held up what appeared to be an envelope, flapping it around angrily as he spoke. "Just when were you guys going to tell me about __this__!?"

"About what?" asked Wind as he munched on a fried egg.

"__This__!" Brown tossed the envelope on the table. As it landed, a card with a gold-stamped design slid out, and Mini reached over to take it. He opened it and glanced over it quickly.

"Oh," he said, nonplussed, "__that__. Yeah, that is tomorrow, isn't it?"

Time leaned over to get a look at the card himself. "Right, the Hero's Ball." He snickered, then glanced back towards Brown. "You just now got your invitation? Ours came weeks ago."

Brown grimaced slightly, then crossed his arms and huffed. "…Well, maybe I waited too long to open it." He then pointed at the group, his scowl returning. "But that doesn't change the fact that you guys are supposed to__ tell me__ about these kind of things…!"

"We didn't?" Duo asked before turning to his predecessor. "Light, weren't you going to tell him about the ball?"

"Why would I be the one to tell him?" replied Light, prodding Duo's shoulder with his fork, "He's __your__ direct successor."

"That doesn't matter!" spat Brown. "All I wanna know is what this Hero's Ball business is all about and why Zelda wants me there so badly!"

After a short, awkward silence, all eyes turned to Sky. As the eldest, he was always considered the most suited to answer these kinds of questions. Knowing that the burden of explanation had fallen on him, he sat down his fork and rested his elbows on the table.

"You see," he began, "the Centennial Hero's Ball is a tradition the Zeldas started - well, Mini's Zelda, to be exact. She always felt like she was never able to celebrate his accomplishments the way she would have liked to in life, so once they both got here, she had a grand party thrown in his honor." He scratched his cheek somewhat bashfully. "Of course, you know my Zelda, she got me dragged into the whole thing, too. Then Time's Zelda hopped on board when he finally got here, and so on and so forth, until eventually they decided to make it about celebrating the cycle as a whole and the accomplishments of every Hero." He lowered his hand and smiled pleasantly. "So now, every one hundred years, the Zeldas throw a ball for us, and we're pretty much obligated to go."

Brown's anger seemed to subside slightly at the explanation. He sighed heavily and slumped his shoulders. "I was afraid you'd say that," he said. "I __hate__ formal stuff."

"How do you know you won't like it?" asked Duo, "You've never been to a formal event before."

"I don't need to go to one to know I won't like it!"

"Then tomorrow will be your first," said Time, frowning slightly at the reluctant Hero. "You said your Zelda wanted you to go, right? Surely you're not going to disappoint her."

"I — " Brown sulked further, his expression guilty-looking. "Well… no… but what do I even __do__ for one of these? I don't even have anything nice to wear…!"

Mini grinned. "Well then," he said, hopping out of his seat and approaching Brown, grabbing the sleeve of his shirt, "we'll just have to find you something, now, won't we?"

"Huh!?"

With a small laugh, Sky also left his seat and walked over to Brown. "Mini's right; we need to find you a handsome outfit quick!" He lifted his gaze to Green. "Hey, Green, want to lend us a hand?"

"Me?" Green said with a puzzled expression, "Why me?"

"I'm afraid mine and Mini's tastes will be a little too old fashioned," explained Sky. "We need the input of someone from a modern era."

At this, Green snorted and smirked. "Well, in that case, I guess I can help you old geezers out!" After stuffing one last sausage in his mouth, he left the table to join the others as they dragged Brown out of the dining room.

"W-Wait," said Brown, "what about my breakfast!? I haven't even gotten to eat anything!"

Mini darted back to the table, took a piece of buttered bread from Twilight's plate, then ran back to Brown, stuffing it in his mouth before helping Sky and Green shove him out the door.

"Hey!" cried Twilight, "That was __mine__, you twerp!"

"Take it easy," laughed Time, "there's more bread where that came from."

Wind nodded at Time's statement. Then, he took one of the loaves and bread, cut off a large chunk, and spread some butter on it. "Here you go," he said, handing it to Twilight.

With an irritated grumble, Twilight snatched the bread from his hands and took a bite.

* * *

><p>While Sky, Mini, and Green were off trying to find Brown some proper formal attire, the others finished their breakfast and set out to prepare their own outfits for the Hero's Ball. Unfortunately, a hundred years was more than enough time to allow many of them to completely forget where they had stored them since the last ball. This was why Light had offered to help Time search his house for his clothes, with Time agreeing to return the favor once they'd been found.<p>

They started their search in Time's attic, where, if he remembered correctly, most of his old memorabilia from his time as a knight was stored. There, they found an old chest, and after clearing away the cobwebs that had formed on the latch - though the Heroes themselves never aged in this paradise, their furniture still did - Time opened it up.

"Ah, here we are," he said with a grin as he pulled out a blue jacket that was lined with a thin layer of dust, "I knew it'd be somewhere up here!"

Light scratched his nose. "Wow, Time, you sure let your dress uniform get in bad shape…"

Time stood and inspected the old uniform more closely. "Nothing a little soap and water won't fix." He then flapped the jacket up and down, shaking off the dust and causing Light to cough.

"Geez, watch it!" said Light as he covered his mouth, "You're gonna make us both choke!"

"Oh," said Time sheepishly once he stopped, "sorry, Light."

After catching his breath, the younger Hero cleared his throat. "…Anyway, I still can't believe you've only worn it for the Hero's Balls - I mean, you look back on your time as Captain pretty fondly, don't you?"

"I do," said Time, folding the jacket over his shoulder and kneeling down to collect the rest of the uniform, "but as far as nostalgia's concerned, I've always preferred wearing the armor."

"The one with the weird horns?"

"Yes," chuckled Time, "the one with the weird horns. I only ever wore the dress uniform when Zelda made me wear it for parties and ceremonies. It's nice, but a knight can't exactly fight for his country in a double-breasted suit and dress shoes, wouldn't you agree?"

"Yeah, I see your point," said Light, peering into the old chest and eyeing the pins and medals inside. "But, still, fancy parties at Hyrule Castle during the kingdom's glory days… bet those were a lot more exciting than the ones from my era."

"I wouldn't say that." Time reached in and picked out his decor, rubbing the dust off of each award on the hem of his tunic. "They were still kind of boring for the most part. Not only that, I was a kid from the forest mingling with nobles and royalty whose lives I couldn't understand - I was like a fish out of water at those events." He smiled. "But the fact that Zelda was there with me made them a little more bearable. She would always go out of her way to make sure I had a good time, at least a little bit."

Light couldn't help but smile as well. "That generosity runs in her family," he said. "My Zelda was always there for me to talk to when things got boring."

"I bet your psychic connection with her helped with that."

"You wouldn't believe what a life saver it was!" He chuckled to himself. "My Zelda, she had a way of seeing the truth in people's intentions; she always said that she preferred my company over the fake and insincere socialites trying to suck up to her and her father."

"Of course she would," said Time as he gathered the last of his medals. Once he'd wiped it clean, he flashed his successor a slight grin. "Which is why I think she'd really appreciate you asking her for a dance tomorrow."

At that, Light startled. "W-What!?"

"Seriously, Light," laughed Time, "all these years, she's been the one to ask you - it astounds me that you've never even tried to return to the favor!"

The younger Link's cheeks turned rosy, and he looked off to the side. "I-It's not that I don't __want__ to, I just get too…"

"Nervous?" With his uniform and accessories, Time stood, ruffling his successor's shaggy orange hair affectionately. "You're always so self-conscious and high strung - lighten up a little!"

Light flinched at his elder's touch. "Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. "A-Anyway, we've got your dress uniform - now we need to go and find mine."

"Okay," said Time, motioning towards the ladder leading out of the attic. "You first, __Lieutenant__."

"Yes, __Captain__," said Light with a slight scoff as he climbed down.

* * *

><p>Wind and Engie managed to find their outfits relatively easily. The customs of New Hyrule were slightly different from those of the old kingdom; all those in the service of the crown were expected to attend formal functions in their regular uniforms rather than dress uniforms. Hence, all they needed to do was take their respective uniforms - guard captain's for Wind and senior royal engineer's for Engie - and clean them up a little.<p>

After carefully washing their clothes, they left them hanging outside. While they waited for them to dry, the two gathered in Wind's living room to organize the awards, pins, and service medals they'd each received in life. Although their awards weren't unique - every Hero had an impressive collection of honors for their deeds as both Heroes and servants of Hyrule - that fact did not stop Engie and Wind from talking about them with great pride and perhaps the slightest bit of boastfulness.

Engie lifted a pin - a small, blue rectangle - and grinned. "Ten years of service as a royal engineer," he mused. Then he picked up a similar pin, colored red this time. "Twenty years." He then organized three more pins - one green, one silver, and the last, gold - into a vertical stack on the coffee table. "Thirty, forty, fifty…"

"I still can't believe you managed to rack up fifty years of service," laughed Wind, shaking his head slightly. "That's got to be a record!"

"I was the only engineer to ever serve for that long," said Engie, "and as far as I know, no one's broken my record since."

"It's impressive, that's for sure!" Wind collected his own similar pins, which only counted for thirty years of service as captain of the guard, and looked at them somewhat sadly. "…At the very least, it was much more than I was able to do."

Noticing his expression, Engie frowned. "Come on, Wind," he said, "you were the captain of New Hyrule's guards! The first, even!" He glanced over at some of Wind's other awards, which included a Medal of Outstanding Leadership, a Crest of Valor, and a posthumous award given to those who perished in the line of duty. "You gave your life for your country - fifty years of driving trains doesn't even hold a candle to that."

Wind looked back up at his successor, staring at him for a moment before breaking into a small chuckle. "You should never try to make someone else feel better about their accomplishments by belittling your own." He sat his pins back down. "You did great things as an engineer - you brought people together, you brought resources to those who needed them, you worked hard to protect every single passenger who boarded your train… and most of all, you served your queen as her personal driver and her dearest friend." He smiled. "What you did as a royal engineer was different from what I did as a guard - but it was just as honorable."

Touched by his predecessor's words, Engie smiled back. "You're right," he said, "I shouldn't have put my work down like that. Sorry, Wind."

"It's fine." Wind glanced over at the Crest of Valor belonging to Engie, given to him by his Zelda for helping to restore the Spirit Tracks and defeat Malladus. "…Though, if you want my personal opinion, you would have been a fantastic guardsman, too."

"I actually considered enlisting for a while," said Engie, "but, well… I'm a train guy, you know? I kept a sword with me to protect Zelda and my passengers, but I couldn't just stop being an engineer."

"Of course," Wind said, amused, "the siren call of the train whistle was simply too much for you to resist, huh?"

Engie laughed. "You bet!" he stood, grinning wryly at his senior. "After all, I'm not deathly afraid of trains, unlike a certain __somebody__ I know…!"

Wind's grin turned into a scowl, and he shot out of his seat. "For the last time, I'm not __afraid__ of them! They just go — "

"Yeah, yeah, they go too fast, you've told me." Engie waltzed toward the door, his grin widening as he continued. "You know, for a brave and valiant Hero of Legend, you're kind of a wuss sometimes."

"You take that back, Engie…!"

With another laugh, Engie left the house to go check on his clothes. Then, after stewing a moment longer over his successor's impudence, Wind sighed, letting the matter go before following suit.

* * *

><p>Twilight let out a satisfied sigh as he held a handsome, dark green tailcoat out in front of him, carefully inspecting its buttons. Having left it carelessly in the back of his closet for a century, he wasn't surprised to find one of the buttons missing. However, the Hero of the Twilight Realm was in fact quite skilled with a needle and thread. He had learned to mend his own clothes as a young man, and for him, sewing a button back on a coat was a piece of cake.<p>

After determining that the newly-attached button was properly aligned with the others, Twilight folded the coat neatly and went to lay it down on the back of a nearby chair. Before he could, however, he heard a knock on the door.

"Coming!" he called out. After setting down the coat, he walked quickly over to the door and opened it, revealing a sulky Duo holding a thick, white bundle. "Hey, Duo, what's wrong?"

"Sorry to bother you, Twilight," Duo said with a small, sheepish smile, "but I really need your help."

"Sure, anything," said Twilight as he stepped aside to let in his friend.

Duo stepped inside, then unraveled the bundle to reveal a fancy white coat with large wrist cuffs and blue and silver trimming. Then, he reached down and lifted the coat's tail to reveal a noticeable tear in it. "My ambassador's coat got torn," he said, "I can't wear it to the ball like this!"

Twilight took a good look at the tear, scratching his chin in thought. Then, he flashed Duo a confident grin. "Oh, this is nothing," he said, taking the coat in his arms, "I can fix it up in a jiffy."

"Are you sure?" asked Duo nervously, "I mean, it's right in the middle of the fabric…"

"I used to make holes that the goats chewed in my clothes look good as new," Twilight assured him with a small laugh, "this will be a cinch." He sat down, then reached into the sewing kit on the coffee table and pulled out his needles, searching for one that was fine enough for the task at hand.

"Thanks, Twilight," said Duo, relieved, "I knew I could count on you."

"Any time," chuckled Twilight. He found the needle he was looking for, then pulled out a spool of white thread. After cutting a decent length of it off with his teeth, he tied a knot at the end and began the tricky process of inserting it into the needle's tiny eye. "You know," he said between threading attempts, "I always found it interesting that you became an ambassador - the rest of us would never have dreamed of taking a job in politics."

"A-Ah, well," Duo said, scratching his cheek, "I suppose it is pretty different, considering it doesn't involve using a sword or anything…" He smiled bashfully. "Guess that makes Engie and I the odd ones out."

"I meant it more in that we couldn't handle having to help run a country," corrected Twilight as he __finally__ threaded the damned needle.

Duo shook his head. "That's not quite what I did, Twilight. I was a representative, not an administrator." He glanced at his coat fondly. "After saving Labrynna and Holodrum, I wanted to find a way I could continue helping the people there as well as in Hyrule. Furthermore, with Ganon and his servants gone and the Triforce safe in Hyrule, there wasn't really a need for more warriors. So Zelda suggested that I become one of Hyrule's representatives to our neighboring allies."

"Uh-huh," acknowledged Twilight as he concentrated on making tiny stitches to seal the torn fabric of Duo's coat.

Duo continued. "All I did was work to make the wants and needs of the people in each nation known," he said. "In that sense, I was just as much a servant of Hyrule as the rest of you."

Twilight nodded. "You're right," he said, "the way you helped people was just as important as the way I helped people as a member of the Adventurer's Guild." He stopped momentarily to grin teasingly at Duo. "Though I still think __my__ job was way more exciting."

The younger Link pouted slightly in offense. "How so?"

"Think about it," Twilight said with playful derision, "I got to travel the world and explore uncharted areas; I got to fight bad guys and go on rescue missions. That's gotta be more exciting than what you did."

"I got to travel the world too!" said Duo, his pout deepening, "I got to meet all kinds of people and see all kinds of new things, and — "

"Duo," interrupted Twilight, placing a free hand on the younger Hero's shoulder, "I'm __kidding__."

"…Oh," said Duo, sulking again.

Twilight chuckled and shook his head as he went back to work. Poor Duo was a sensitive guy, and he knew he shouldn't tease him, but sometimes he simply couldn't help himself.


	102. The Centennial Hero's Ball, Part 2 of 2

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**The Centennial Hero's Ball, Part 2 of 2**_

Meanwhile, at Green's house, Brown's fashion intervention was already well underway. After gathering all of the nice clothes they could get their hands on (which involved quite a bit of borrowing from their male friends and fellow Heroes), Sky, Mini, and Green piled them up on one of the four beds in the master bedroom, sorting through each outfit and having Brown try on the ones they liked. However, after nearly an hour of rejecting various outfits for being too boring, too old-fashioned, too gaudy, or too itchy, the Heroes began to worry that they wouldn't be able to find him a good one before the day's end.

With an aggravated sigh, Green flung a velvet top hat haphazardly into the pile of rejected outfits. "Man," he said, "you'd think that out of all of these we'd find _one_ that worked!"

"You would, wouldn't you?" Mini said in agreement. He pulled out of the main pile what appeared to be a large, frilly ruff - where in Hylia's name had _that_ tacky thing come from? He tossed it into the other pile without a second thought.

"Come on, guys, don't be so discouraged!" said Sky in his usual chipper tone as he continued digging through the pile. "We haven't even made it through half of the clothes yet."

"Yeah, and at this rate we'll be here all day." Green then pulled out what appeared to be an antiquated gray gentleman's tunic. "…Hey, Mini, didn't you wear this to the last Hero's Ball?"

Mini glanced at the tunic - though it would have been too large for him in his current, younger form, it was most certainly his. "Oh, yeah, I did, didn't I?" he said, taking it from Green and folding it over this arm. "It's okay, though; I got an all new outfit for tomorrow."

"Me too!" said Green, flashing his predecessor a grin and a wink. "It's nothing too flashy, but the four of us look pretty sharp in it, if I do say so myself!"

Sky chuckled. "Let me guess," he said, "it's color-coordinated?"

"Why wouldn't it be? You couldn't tell us apart otherwise!" Green puffed out his chest with pride. "Besides, _my_ Zelda thinks it's cute when we all wear our own colors."

Mini couldn't help but laugh at his successor's cheekiness. "Of course, of course. Now, Sky, on the other hand, is probably going to wear the same thing he always does," he turned to his elder with a smirk, "won't you, Sky?"

"Hey, now," said Sky, holding his hands up defensively, "Time, Light, and Wind all go in their military uniforms; why shouldn't I?"

"He's got a point," added Green. "Plus, it is the _Hero's_ Ball - at least one of us ought to wear the green, right?"

"I suppose," Mini said, "though he could still stand to change it up every so often."

"Who said I wasn't going to change it up this time?"

The other two's eyes widened slightly at Sky in surprise. "Really?" asked Mini, "How?"

"Oh," said Sky with a slight grin of his own, "you'll see." He returned his attention to the clothing pile, blinking when a certain outfit caught his eye. Then, he dug it out of the pile, examining it for a moment before nodding in approval. "Hey, guys," he said, "how about this one?"

Green and Mini moved behind Sky and looked over his shoulders. Mini stroked his chin and hummed to himself. "Huh… not bad! What do you think, Green?"

"Yeah," said Green, "I like it… simple, modern, sleek, _and_ classy! Now we just need to see how it looks on — "

"Will you guys hurry it up already!?" cried a muffled voice from behind the door of the adjacent bathroom, "I don't wanna be standing here in my boxers all day…!"

The three Heroes winced slightly at the sound of Brown's voice. Then, with a sheepish smile, Sky looked at each of his successors.

"Let's help him get this on before he freezes," he said with a small laugh.

"Good idea," said Green, who collected the rest of their chosen ensemble and headed over to the bathroom with Sky and Mini.

* * *

><p>Finally, the day of the ball had arrived, and mere hours remained before it was due to begin. Though formal occasions were not their strongest suit, the Heroes were still eager to meet and celebrate with their beloved princesses - but not before making sure they looked their absolute best! That was why Time had agreed to allow the others to congregate at his house so they could all help each other prepare for the big evening; however, for now, only Time, Twilight, Light, Wind, Duo, and Engie were there. After assisting each other with putting on their more complex attire and their respective accessories and awards, they began making their final touches as they waited for the others to arrive.<p>

With a frown, Twilight pulled on his dress shoes, then straightened himself. He smoothed out the wrinkles in his dark green tailcoat and white dress pants. "Damn coat," he grumbled, "I'm always having to straighten it out like this…"

Time sighed, forming an amused half-smile as he approached his student. His outfit - a navy blue dress uniform with gold trimming and a matching epaulette attached to the right shoulder - was typical formal wear for a knight captain of his era. He also sported a crimson sash, which hung over his left shoulder and tied at the hip, as well as a pair of fashionable white gloves. "Oh, quit complaining," he said, reaching over to tighten the bright silk ascot around Twilight's neck, "at the very least, you look great."

Twilight grimaced a little as he allowed Time to adjust the ascot. "Thanks," he muttered, "but I'd be just as well off without the stupid coat."

"Relax, Twilight, you can take it off if it starts bothering you." After patting down the ascot, Time reached over to a nearby end table and grabbed his hairbrush. "Now sit down and let me at least _try_ to brush out that wild hair of yours."

The younger Link shot him an incredulous look. "I ain't five years old, Time. I can brush it myself."

"Really?" laughed Time, "You could have fooled me!" He led Twilight to the nearest chair, sat him down in it, then moved to brush his thick, matted bangs. "Now hold still; this won't take long."

Twilight looked away, embarrassed by his elder's annoyingly parental attention. "Seriously, Time, you're my ancestor, not my father."

Light snickered at the scene from nearby. "Humor him, Twilight," he said, "you know Time gets a kick out of babying you."

Time turned to his other successor, his expression quickly souring. "I'm not _babying_ him, Light."

"_Sure_ you're not," said Light as he took a small, dark blue mantle and draped it across his shoulders, fastening it with a large gold pin emblazoned with the crest of the second order of Hyrulian knights. His dress uniform was also typical of his era; a grayish-blue, long-sleeved doublet with white trimming and matching pants. Once he finished properly fastening the mantle, he returned his attention to Time. "You know, Time, even after all these centuries I _still_ can't get over how gaudy your uniform looks compared to mine."

Time continued his work brushing Twilight's hair and shrugged nonchalantly. "Maybe it'd look less 'gaudy' if I'd lived in the Dark Ages like you did."

"_Hey_!" Light pointed at him, offended. "Maybe my Hyrule wasn't as prosperous as yours, but we were trying to restore the Knights to their former glory! You should appreciate that, Time!"

"It's okay, Light, I'm sure he does," said Duo with a small, nervous laugh. He reached into the pocket of his thick, ivory ambassador's coat - which was now tear-free thanks to Twilight - and pulled out a small cloth. "Besides, I think both of your uniforms look great." He then took off the small glasses he had been wearing and began to clean its lenses.

Wind, who had been fiddling with his guardsman's hat nearby, turned his attention to Duo. His uniform, which was loosely based on the proud green he'd worn in his youth, was striking, and the older form he'd taken filled it out beautifully. "Speaking of looking great," he said, "have I ever told you how handsome those glasses of yours make you look, Duo?"

Duo looked up, surprised at the sudden compliment. "…Really? You think so?"

"Yeah, you really do!" added Engie, who, like Wind and all of the others, had taken on the form he had as a young man. As a result, he looked quite dashing in the navy blue trench coat and red hat that marked him as a senior royal engineer. "It makes you look mature and intelligent - er, not that you're not already intelligent."

With a slight blush, Duo smiled warmly and put his glasses back on - indeed, they gave him an air of maturity not present in his usual form, though he still looked just as gentle and pleasant as ever. "Thank you! I don't really need them anymore, but I always thought they looked nice, too." He put his cleaning cloth back in his pocket. "But you both have always looked great in your uniforms - Light and Time, too. And that tailcoat you're wearing, Twilight - I, for one, think it suits you just fine."

A couple of snickers and snorts emerged from the others, and it took Duo a moment to notice his accidental pun. He grinned sheepishly and scratched his cheek.

"Th-That wasn't intentional," he muttered, "I promise…"

Just then, a knock at the door caught their attention. Then, Time broke into a bright smile.

"That's probably the others." He gave Twilight's sideburns a few quick brushes, then went to the door and opened it. "Ah, there you are! We were wondering when you'd all get here."

Just as they'd all suspected, crowded around the front door were Sky, Mini, and all four of Green's personas, all dressed up and ready for the ball. Mini, who wore a handsome silk shirt and sleeveless green doublet with a lighter green sash tied around his waist, gave a small wave in greeting.

"Hey guys," he said, "sorry we're late!"

"It's fine, we've got plenty of time before the ball starts." Time stepped aside to let them all in. When he noticed what Mini was wearing, he nodded in approval. "Wow, Mini, did you get a new outfit this time? I'm impressed!"

Mini grinned, stepping inside and showing off his new clothes with pride. "Thanks! I was getting sick of the old one."

Green, Red, and Blue then made their way into the house. Each of them wore the same outfit - a silk vest and bowtie over a white dress shirt and dark pants - however, like their usual outfits, the vests and bowties were all coordinated to their respective colors. Eager to show off their own new garments, Red took Green and Blue by the arms and presented them to the others.

"We got all new outfits, too!" he said excitedly. "See? See?"

Twilight grinned, resting an arm on the back of his chair. "Not bad, you guys!" he said, "The bowties are a nice touch."

"I know, right?" Green turned to give Blue a smug grin. "See, Blue, I told you the bowties were a good idea."

Blue merely grumbled and yanked his arm away from Red's. "Yeah, yeah, whatever," he said, his older face still somehow managing to look like that of a pouty child.

With a laugh, Sky entered behind them, placing a hand on Blue's head and ruffling his hair as he passed him. "Don't be such a spoilsport, Blue! This is supposed to be a time of celebration, remember?"

With his entrance, everyone, save Mini and the Heroes of the Four Sword, turned their gaze to Sky. Though he was wearing the same outfit he always wore for the ball - a version of his knight's uniform more suited for formal occasions, which lacked chain mail and had various small embellishments embroidered into the tunic - they were surprised to see a large, flowing crimson cape attached to a set of polished golden shoulder plates. Recognizing his new accessories, Light pointed to him.

"Hey," he said, "isn't that…?"

Sky blinked, then looked down at his cape. His lips curled into a small, bittersweet smile; then, he nodded. "Yeah," he said, "I thought he'd appreciate me wearing it."

The others stayed silent for a short moment, remembering the Hero whose duty to the cycle prevented him from joining them at the ball. Then, Duo returned his attention to Sky, smiling warmly at him.

"That's really thoughtful of you, Sky," he said. "He'd be honored, I'm sure of it."

The elder Hero nodded once more, then turned back towards the door. "…But that's not what we're here to show you guys. Vio! Bring him in!"

Then, right on cue, Vio showed up, practically shoving a nervous-looking Brown through the front door. "May I present to you," he said with a wry grin, "the newest Hero of Legend!"

"V-Vio, don't — "

With one last push, Vio sent Brown stumbling into the middle of the room. Once he got his bearings straight, the others could see the outfit he had ended up in; a clean, freshly pressed black tuxedo with a white undershirt. On his hands he wore a pair of gloves similar to Time's, and tied at his neck was a dandy white cravat. His clothes were not the only things looking neat and clean, either - he had also been given a nice haircut and a clean shave, marking a drastic change from his usual appearance. At the sight of their youngest brother in formal clothes for the first time since his arrival, the other Heroes let out a stream of "oohs" and "aahs". Some even began to applaud. This caused Brown to look around in surprise before sulking in embarrassment as his cheeks turned red.

"You guys," he said, "it's not… come on, I don't look _that_ great…"

"What are you talking about, Brown?" said Wind, approaching him and patting his shoulder affectionately. "You look _terrific_!"

Brown looked down at his feet. "…You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"No, we really mean it!" said Engie, who gave him a thumbs up and a big grin. "It's like that tux was made for you!"

The flustered Hero glanced first at Engie, then back at Wind, and finally down towards the outfit he was wearing. After a moment of contemplation, he finally cracked a small smile, taking the lapel of his tuxedo and fiddling with it.

"…You know, maybe you're right," he finally said, "I do look kinda cool in this."

"That's the spirit!" said Twilight. He stood from his seat approached Brown, prodding his other shoulder playfully. "I always knew you shared our heroic good looks under that scruffy-lookin' face of yours!"

"Scruffy-looking!?" Brown turned to Twilight, shoving a finger to his chest. "You lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere, and you're calling _me_ scruffy-looking!?"

"You two, take it easy!" laughed Sky, who walked over and gently lowered Brown's hand. "This is going to be Brown's first Hero's Ball, remember? Let's make it so that he has a good time." He then reached into his pouch and pulled out a pictograph box. "And since it looks like everybody's ready, how about we go head and take the group pictograph?"

Brown looked down at the device in Sky's hands and blinked. "Group pictograph? …Wait, we're taking pictures?"

"Of course! We always take a group shot before the ball," explained Mini before turning to Wind. "Time for you to work your magic, Wind."

"No problem," said Wind before taking the pictograph box Sky had offered to him - having studied (for lack of a better term) under the tutelage of a master pictographer in his youth, he had been deemed the official picture-taker of the group. He grabbed an end table to use as a stand, then stood back and motioned towards Time's fireplace. "Okay, everybody, you know what to do; shortest in front and tallest in back!"

The Heroes all did as they were told, shuffling around until they had gathered into two different rows. The taller half of the group made up the back row; Sky, Time, Brown, Twilight, Duo, and Light, and they reserved a spot at the end for Wind. The other half, composing of Green and his personas, Engie, and Mini, stood in the front row. After telling a few of them to move this way and that so they could all fit in the frame, Wind gave them all the "okay" signal, then sat the pictograph box down on the end table.

"All right, guys," he said, setting the timer on the device, "_smile_!"

As the brotherhood of Heroes put on their most handsome smiles, Wind rushed over to join them. A few seconds later, the pictograph box flashed, immortalizing a moment of pride and celebration that could only come once in a century.


	103. Build Your Own Hero

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Build Your Own Hero**_

"Skyyyy! Sky Sky Sky Sky __Skyyyyyy__...!"

Sky jolted upright in his seat on the bench; he'd found himself just about to doze off when Red's unmistakable shrill voice startled him awake again. Immediately he turned around, placing his elbow on the bench's back and watching as Green's gang all ran up towards him.

"Whoa, whoa, wait, easy, you guys," he said with a nervous chuckle, "not so loud! What's up?"

Green snickered. "Sorry about that," he said, "Red's just super excited about - "

"Sky, take a look at this!" Red interrupted as he waved a sheet of paper around in the air. "See? See?"

Blue rolled his eyes. "He's not gonna be able to see it if you don't let him read it, you nitwit."

"Oh! Uh, oops, I guess you're right." Red bashfully handed over the paper to Sky. "Anyway, Sky, I got this really cool idea, and now me and the others are taking a survey of all the other Links!"

Sky smiled in amusement and took the paper. "A survey, huh?" He looked down, blinked a little, then read the heading aloud. "...'Ideas for the Next Hero of Legend'?"

"To be submitted for the approval of the Golden Goddesses," said Vio. "So far we've got about half of the other Hero's ideas and opinions."

With a nod, Red positioned himself over Sky's shoulder and placed a finger on the paper. "Check out what all they've said so far!"

Sky hummed slightly as he skimmed over the list. "Let's see... 'tall and handsome with a cute, loveable face... young and energetic, but not too young to fight... musically talented, friendly with kids, good with the ladies'...?"

"That last one was totally my idea," said Green, pressing a thumb to his chest with a smug grin.

"Was not," said Blue with a hint of annoyance, "Time mentioned it first."

Sky's tickled expression slowly returned as he silently read through the rest of the list. Dark hair, blue eyes, living with family, having a childhood love interest - the more he read, the more he began to realize that his fellow Links had simply projected various aspects of themselves onto a Hero who was yet to appear. When he finished, he began to chuckle, his shoulders shaking as he shook his head.

"You guys," he said, "you do know that this isn't how the cycle actually works, right?"

"Huh?" asked Red, his face falling slightly in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"The goddesses have Their own plan for what the next Hero will be like," he explained, "and They know better than us what qualities he will need to have in order to succeed on his journey. I think we ought to just wait and see what They come up with, don't you?"

The four personas looked at each other, as though they'd been so caught up in their brainstorming that they'd forgotten that simple fact. Blue coughed in discomfort, Green lowered his gaze in shame, and Vio took a hold of his chin in deep thought. Red, however, was struck with another idea, and he turned to face Sky again with a bright smile.

"Maybe we can send it to Them anyway," he said, "you know, just in case They run out of ideas."

Sky let out a merry laugh at Red's response, then handed him back the survey and ruffled his bangs. "Hahaha! Well, hey, you never know!" He grinned and placed his hands on his hips. "...But if you're going to send it off anyway, put down that he ought to be right-handed."

"Why, because __you're__ right-handed, Sky?" asked Vio with a cocked eyebrow.

"No," replied the elder Link, "because I made a bet with Twilight about it. If the next of us is right-handed, he has to clean my house for the next century."

"Got it!" cried Red as he reached into his pouch, took out a pencil, and wrote down Sky's suggestion. He then turned to the others. "Okay, next up is Engie - let's go see what he has to say!"

The other personas followed him as he made a beeline for Engies house. Sky watched them leave, still chortling to himself over the whole thing. Though he knew that the will of their creator goddesses was perfect, he figured that They'd probably get a laugh or two out of Red's little list of suggestions.


	104. I Always Feel Like Somebodys Watching Me

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me**_

"Hey, Mini, what's this over here?"

Mini lifted his head from the book he was reading and looked towards Brown, who was crouching in the corner of the living room for some reason. He lifted an eyebrow. "What's what, Brown?"

"This," said Brown, repositioning himself so that Mini could see the small tea saucer situated on the floor in front of a mouse hole; it contained breadcrumbs, a half-eaten piece of lettuce, and a single grape. "Do the mice just help themselves to your food here, or...?"

With a laugh, Mini stood and shook his head. "Of course not! We don't get pest problems up here." He approached the younger Hero and knelt beside him, looking down at the tiny plate. "This is for the Minish that live in the walls - I've always left stuff for them to eat."

Brown stared at him in confusion for a moment.

"...You know," added Mini, "the little guys that leave rupees and stuff for us."

"_Oh_!" said Brown in realization, "Yeah, I remember you telling me about them." He turned back to the saucer and cracked a small smile. "I didn't know they got to come here, too."

"Well, where do you think the Minish go when they die?" Mini picked up the tiny plate and stood, headed towards his kitchen. "I haven't been able to see them since I hit puberty, but I could still tell when they moved in after I got here. They've always eaten the food I put out, and in return they do little things around the house for me."

Brown followed, watching as his elder cleaned the old food off and replaced it with some leftover peas and broken crackers. "Sounds nice," he said, folding his hands behind his head. "I kinda wish I had some Minish around my place - I'm terrible at keeping things organized, haha."

"Actually, there should be some living there already," Mini said, turning back to Brown with the saucer in hand, "you just never notice them, that's all."

"Really?" asked Brown with an excited expression... an expression which quickly soured when he realized the full implications of what he said. "...Wait, so, they've been in there this whole time, and I never knew about it?"

"That's kind of the point!" said the elder Link with a big grin. "They like to do their work in secret. They love to watch people and help them out, especially us Heroes."

As Mini returned to the living room to place the small plate of food back in its corner, Brown gulped. "W-Watching people, huh..."

"Hmm?" asked Mini, turning his head back towards his successor, "What was that?"

"E-Er, nothing!" said Brown defensively, eyeing the mouse hole with suspicion. "Nothing at all..."

* * *

><p>The conversation continued to bother Brown, especially when he returned to his own house later that day. Though he tried to block the unsettling feeling from his mind, he simply couldn't shake the thought of dozens of beady little Minish eyes watching him from every nook and cranny of his home - and no where was this more apparent than when the newest Hero tried to go to the toilet.<p>

He undid his belt and was just about ready to pull down his leggings when the creepy realization once again reared its ugly head. To think that the cute, charming, helpful Minish folk that Mini had described may have been watching him in the bathroom this whole time...! After nervously glancing around the room for a moment - not that it would have done any good, as the little buggers would have been invisible to him anyway - he let out an embarrassed whimper as he opted to sit down on the commode instead. His cheeks bright red, he pulled the hem of his tunic until it nearly covered his knees and grumbled to himself.


	105. Please Conserve Farore's Wildlife

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Please Conserve Farore's Majestic Wildlife**_

Twilight's grin widened as he watched his new long-eared friend inspect the lettuce leaf he'd offered it. Curiously, the grass rabbit sniffed at the leaf, causing Twilight to stifle back a chuckle at the cute way its nose twitched. Once the creature had determined it to be safe to eat, it began to nibble on the leaf, enjoying itself as it chewed happily.

At this,Twilight could no longer hold back his laughter, and he giggled like a small child. "Aww, look at him," he cooed, reaching over to gently scratch behind the rabbit's ears. "I knew rabbits were cute, but I had no idea they were _this_ cute!"

"Me either!" laughed Time as he continued to pet the rabbit that had made itself at home in his lap. "They're a lot fluffier than I thought they'd be... and they're friendly, too!"

"Aren't they?" Engie said with a bright smile as he adjusted his hold the rabbits he held in each arm. "I wasn't particularly fond of them at first, but the little guys managed to grow on me during mine and Zelda's journey. guess that's why they showed up here with me!" Suddenly, the rabbit in his right arm squirmed, and it leaped out of its grip to go run around some more. "_Whoa_!"

With another laugh, Twilight watched as the rabbit joined its kin to frolic about in the grass. "I can see why you like them so much!" Feeling another one brush up against his leg, he reached down and picked it up, holding it out in front of him as he began speaking in a babyish tone. "Just lookit those big ol' ears and that fluffy tail and that cute widdle nose... how could anyone ever hate them?"

Engie snickered. "Looks like someone's enjoying himself!"

"That's Twilight for you," said Time, nudging Engie playfully with his elbow, "always the animal nut."

"I'm just surprised that neither of you have seen an actual rabbit until now," continued Engie as he cradled his remaining rabbit in both arms. "Did they not have them in the old kingdom or something?"

Time shook his head. "Nuh-uh," he said, "at least, not while we were around. They'd already been hunted to extinction by that time, though I guess they were still around on the new continent."

Upon hearing the words "hunted to extinction", Twilight immediately fell silent, his face falling into a horrified expression. "...Extinction?" he turned to Time in a slight panic, "They were all _killed_!? _That's_ why we never saw any in our time!?"

Surprised at his reaction, Time and Engie glanced at each other in confusion. By the time they opened their mouths to respond, however, Twilight had already lowered the rabbit he was holding, scowling dejectedly towards the ground.

"How horrible," he said somberly, "what kind of monsters would do such a thing!? It's too cruel... it's..."

The other Heroes recoiled in surprise as Twilight began to sniffle slightly. "...Twilight," said Time, "are you... _crying_?"

"_No I ain't cryin'_!" spat Twilight as he shot his elder a glare, though there was clearly a slight tearful shimmer in his eyes. "I-I just... I just think it's awful, the way we treat Farore's creations sometimes..."

"Y-Yeah," said Engie, clearly uncomfortable with seeing the proud Hero of Twilight in such a state, "it is pretty sad, isn't it?"

His face softening into a more tender expression, he took the rabbit in his arms and held it close. "It's all right," he assured it sweetly, "nobody's gonna hurt you here... not if I have anything to say about it."

Time simply sighed to himself, his lips curled into a slightly amused half smile. "Like I said," he said, "that's Twilight for you." He returned his attention to his rabbit, which closed its eyes contentedly at his touch.


	106. What I Like Like About You

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**What I Like Like About You**_

"Rings that can turn you into monsters?" Brown scoffed as he nonchalantly shut Duo's front door with his foot and unstrapped his sword and shield. "That almost sounds too weird to be true."

Though he was about to remove his own gear from his back, Duo stopped in place, pouting slightly at his successor. "Why would I lie about something like that, Brown?"

"I'm not calling you a liar!" answered Brown, holding his hands out in front of him defensively, "It's just… who would even _use_ something like that, and why would they _want_ to?"

Duo placed a finger on his chin and thought for a moment. "…Well, I suppose it would be a good way to experience the world through the eyes of another creature." He smiled. "An exercise in empathy, maybe?"

With a shrug, Brown snorted. "Ah, who knows?" He sat down in the armchair he'd placed his gear against and made himself comfortable. "Still, I'd kinda like to see how those rings worked with my own eyes."

"I still have them, you know!" said Duo chipperly. "I'll let you try them on if you want."

"Really!?" said Brown, leaning forward in his seat and grinning excitedly. "Awesome! Thanks, Duo!"

"Just a second," Duo said as he hurried down the hallway towards his bedroom. He returned a short moment later with a large, varnished box and sat it down on the coffee table. Then, he opened it, hovering over the many different rings situated inside until he found the one he wanted. "There we go!" he said, holding the ring up for Brown to see. "If I remember correctly, this one's the Like Like ring. When you put it on, it turns you into… er, a Like Like."

"Yeah, I think I got that much." Brown took the ring from his predecessor and inspected it closely. "It's… kinda ugly looking, don't you think?"

"It's not the most fashionable ring I have, no," laughed Duo. "Try it on!"

The younger Hero looked the ring over for a short moment longer; then he grinned to himself. "All right, then, here goes…!" He slipped the ring onto his right ring finger, and in an instant his form transformed into a pale green Like Like. Surprised by the suddenness of the change, the Hero-turned-Like Like writhed around a little, bending over in various directions as if trying to get a good look at himself.

"Well?" asked Duo, "How's it feel to be a Like Like?"

Brown could only emit a low gurgling sound in response.

"Oh, that's right, you can't talk in this form," said Duo, scratching his cheek sheepishly. "Guess you'll have to tell me when you turn back."

Suddenly, Brown froze in place, as if suddenly realizing something dreadful. Then, he wiggled around, gurgling in panic. Duo seemed to come to the same realization a moment later, and he gasped.

"Oh no," he said, "I forgot to tell you how to turn back!" He knelt down next to his gelatinous friend. "You don't have any hands right now, but you can turn back if you spit out the ring."

Brown's gurgling noises became angrier-sounding, as though asking how the heck he was supposed to do that in this form.

"You just have to try, Brown," said Duo, frowning nervously, "use your instincts!"

The frustrated Like Like writhed around every which way; however, try as he might, he couldn't figure out how to spit anything out. At this, Duo stood and placed his hands on his successor's "lips", gently prying them open.

"H-Hold still," he stammered, grimacing slightly as he reached inside of him, "I should be able to find it and — "

Suddenly, Brown's entire form began to contract, and Duo screamed as he was swept off of his feet and swallowed head first. For a moment, he kicked his feet as Brown commenced "chewing" on him; then, finally, he coughed the elder Hero back up, spitting out the Like Like ring in the process.

"Eugh…" muttered Duo to himself as he scraped some of the Like Like saliva off of his sleeve; then, he caught sight of Brown, who had returned to his normal form. "Brown, I'm really sorry! I should have told you about — "

He was interrupted by a loud belch from Brown, who then reached into his mouth and fished around for something with his finger. When he pulled out a metal screw, he looked back at Duo, his eyes wide as he realized that the latter's shield had vanished.

"…Brown? What are you looking at?" He glanced over his shoulder. "Oh, no, my shield!" He sulked. "And Mini had made that just for me, too…"

Brown groaned, clutching his stomach and doubling over. "N-Never mind that," he said, "I-I don't think I feel so good…"

Duo stood, then pulled up his friend, draping his arm over his shoulder. "Here, uh, the bathroom's this way…"

With a nod, Brown walked as Duo led him towards the bathroom. Then, he let out another belch, wincing at the gross, metallic taste in his mouth.


	107. Tonight on Hyrule's Most Haunted…

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**Tonight on "Hyrule's Most Haunted"…**_

"Well, here they are," said Time as he sat an old leather book bound with string on the table, "copies of Twilight's baby pictographs, courtesy of his parents!"

From their seats at the opposite side of the table, Wind and Light took a quick look at the book; then, almost simultaneously, they broke out into huge grins and returned their gaze to Time. "Wow, Time," said Wind, "for a moment there I didn't think you actually had these!"

"Come on, Wind, why wouldn't he?" said Light, reaching forward to open the album's cover, "Everyone knows what a sentimental slob he is, especially over Twilight."

Time chuckled, scratching his cheek somewhat sheepishly. "Yeah, I guess I am a little. I keep this album next to the ones I have for my own boys - but don't tell Twilight I said that, he'd definitely kill me again just for showing these to you, haha."

"Oh, look at this one!" said Wind, pointing to a picture of a small, chubby, year-old Twilight crawling over a pumpkin that was probably twice his size. He began to snicker. "I'm not gonna lie, that's actually really cute."

"I know, right?" said Time, his smile growing as he took a seat and began to go through the pictographs with them. "He really was the sweetest little boy... oh, this one's one of my favorites!" He pointed to another picture of a slightly older Twilight laughing as he sat on the neck of an Ordon goat. "He used to climb on top of the goats all the time when he was a toddler... he definitely had an adventurer's spirit from the very beginning!"

Light laughed and turned the page. "Man, these are great," he said between snickers, "Twilight would get so embarrassed if we - " He stopped, raising his eyebrow at the next pictograph of the infant Hero being bathed in a wooden tub just outside of his treehouse. "...Hey, do you guys see anything weird in this picture?"

Wind tilted his head and looked over the pictograph. "No, not really... oh, except for that big white smudge over in the corner."

Time took a look at the smudge Wind referred to. He tensed somewhat, but dismissed it soon after with a small wave. "T-That's probably just a problem with the film," he said.

"But if that's the case," said Light, pointing to a few other pictures with similar bright "smudges" in inconspicuous spots - behind bushes and rocks, next to fences and buildings, but always within a short distance of the young Twilight, "how come it's in all of these?"

Wind blinked as he watched Light point out the anomalies. "You're right," he said, "that _is_ weird..." Then, his eyes widened in realization. "Oh, I just remembered! Lenzo once told me that people sometimes unintentionally capture paranormal activity in their pictographs, and it usually shows up as streaks of light or little floating orbs..." He returned his gaze to Light. "Maybe that's what's going on in these?"

"Who knows?" Light turned the page; then, on the pictograph of the toddler Twilight making mud pies, he startled somewhat and pointed to a bright silhouette peering from behind a tree in the background. "...Hold on, is that a _dog_!?"

"That's too big to be a dog!" said Wind, "That's gotta be a..."

There was a short silence that followed as Light and Wind slowly began to come to the same conclusion. Then, they lifted their heads towards Time, eyeing him suspiciously. Time, who was already looking off to the side and covering his mouth in discomfort, coughed slightly before shifting his gaze back to the other two Heroes.

"...W-Well," he muttered, "I had to make sure nothing bad happened to him before his calling..."

With a snort, Light's lips curled into an amused half-smile. "Wow," he said with a hint of slight derision, "you really took the whole guardian ancestor thing seriously, didn't you?"

"I bet he was just looking for an excuse to watch his descendent acting cute," added Wind with a smarmy grin of his own.

Time huffed, crossing his arms in annoyance. "_And_? Don't tell me you two wouldn't have done the same thing if you'd been in my place!"

The other two thought about this for a moment; then, with a sigh, Wind conceded. "...Good point," he said, "if I hadn't been here, I'm sure I would have hung around and bothered Engie back on the mortal plane."

Light simply nodded in agreement. He knew Time had a point - a love and concern for their successors was simply one more quality that their kind shared amongst themselves.


	108. No Bugs About It

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>By Queenie Z<strong>

_**No Bugs About It**_

The natural landscape of the afterlife was truly a sight to behold, and its majestic beauty and diversity provided the Heroes plenty of opportunities to experience the great outdoors. Together, they would often venture to the forests and mountains, partaking in a variety of recreational activities such as camping, fishing, and hiking. On this mild, sunny day, Sky, Twilight, and Wind had all come together to traverse their favorite mountain trail; a steep and rocky road which none but seasoned adventurers such as themselves would ever attempt.

With a loud, exasperated sigh, Wind slumped onto his bottom near a boulder, resting his head against it for a moment. "Man," he said, "coming up here is always such a _beating_…!"

"Tell me about it," said Twilight as he sat on the other side of the boulder, massaging one of his bare feet, "I'm always sore by the time we come back down." He looked out towards the horizon, however, and cracked a small smile at the sight of the clouds and treetops beneath them. "…Ah, well, I guess that's the price you pay for a view as great as this."

"Yeah," said Wind, wiping his forehead with his sleeve, "but how come we have to get so fatigued anyway? We don't need stuff like food and sleep anymore, so what's the point?"

"You can't enjoy an eternal rest without feeling fatigue every once in a while," said Sky from his seat on top of the boulder. "It's just a way for us to feel a bit more human, that's all."

Twilight nodded. "Still, though, I'm pretty bushed." He looked up towards his predecessor. "Hey, Sky, you got that stamina potion you said you'd bring?"

"Of course!" Sky reached into his pouch, fished around for a moment, then pulled out a bottle of bright green liquid. He passed it down to Twilight. "It's the extra strong kind, too, so you should only need a sip."

"Thanks!" said Twilight with a grin as he took the bottle, uncorked it, and drank a small mouthful of the potion. Then, he let out a contented sigh. "Woo! I feel better already!" He passed the bottle over to Wind. "Here, have some, Wind."

Wind nodded his thanks and took a tiny sip himself (they were basically family, so none of the Heroes had much of a problem drinking after each other). He looked at the bottle in contemplation after he'd had his drink. "You know, this stuff's a lot better than the potions I had to drink." He turned his gaze towards Sky. "What's in it, anyway?"

"It's an ancient Skyloftian recipe," Sky explained. "It's basically chu jelly boiled with medicinal herbs and flavoring. If you wanted to make it more potent, like this batch, you can infuse different insects, like grasshoppers and ladybugs and — "

Wind was on his second sip of the potion when he heard Sky mention the word "insect", and he immediately spat it out. "_Ugh_!" he cried, looking at the bottle again in disgust, "There are _bugs_ in this!?"

Sky frowned, genuinely surprised by the younger Link's reaction. "N-Not any actual bug parts," he clarified, "those are filtered out afterwards…"

"What's the difference?" said Wind, handing the bottle back to Sky. "It's still got _bug juice_ in it!"

Twilight turned his head, raising an eyebrow at Wind. "You're overreacting," he said, "it ain't _that_ gross. I mean, even I've eaten bee larva when I couldn't find anything else — "

"You're _both_ disgusting!" cried Wind before hastily reaching into his pouch, grabbing his canteen, and pouring in a mouthful of water, gargling it, and spitting it back out on the ground. He wiped his mouth. "…You guys can have the rest; I think I'd rather go tired than drink _grasshoppers and ladybugs_."

Sky and Twilight looked towards each other with an odd look. Then, Sky let out a sheepish laugh, shrugged his shoulders, and took a drink of the stamina potion.


	109. Expectations vs Reality

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>by Queenie Z<strong>

_**Expectations vs. Reality**_

Out of all of the Links, Wind was quite possibly the most exhilarated over meeting his noble predecessors and learning more of the great heroic line they were all a part of. He had always suspected that there was more to the old kingdom's legacy than he realized, and in life he steadfastly held the belief that the story of the Legendary Hero would not end with his passing. At times, he even found himself wondering whether the Hero of Time, the man who had been immortalized in his childhood bedtime stories, had smiled down upon him as he and Tetra finished the work their ancestors had started. And now, to finally know how proud he had been, how proud all of his fellow Heroes had been… the very thought was enough to move the brave Hero of Winds to tears.

However, as euphoric as the experience of meeting his predecessors was for Wind, in truth, it also made him quite nervous. When they first came to greet him on the shores of the afterlife, he was more than a little bit starstruck, and he became overwhelmed by an intense, almost worshipful reverence. To even be mentioned in the same breath as the great Hero of Time and his kin, the blessed line of Heroes, was almost too nerve-wracking for poor Wind to bear, and that was why he found himself feeling extremely self-conscious when he was invited for a gathering at Time's house shortly after his arrival.

It wasn't that he felt that the others would judge him - in fact, they had been nothing but warm and kind towards him since he got there - it was simply the expectation that he would never be able to live up to the glory of his fellow Heroes. As he made his way towards Time's house, he had to constantly remind himself to keep his cool and, most of all, to not do anything stupid to embarrass himself in front of them. Finally, he stopped at the front door, taking a deep breath before finally knocking on it.

"Wha?" said a muffled, sleepy voice from inside, "Oh, that's probably Wind. I'll get it."

Shortly after, Wind was greeted by a peculiar sight - the eldest and most respected of the Heroes, Sky, looking like he hadn't even bothered to get dressed for the day. He flashed the younger Link a smile.

"Hey there," he said with a yawn. After covering his mouth with the back of his hand, he continued. "Come on in, everybody else is already here."

Slightly puzzled, Wind blinked at his senior, then lowered his head bashfully as he stepped inside. "S-Sorry I'm late," he said, "I-I was getting ready to come, and — "

When he lifted his gaze, however, he froze. There in Time's living room were all four of his other predecessors, none of whom were looking particularly… dignified. Mini, who took a form similar in age to Wind's own, was hanging off of the back of a sofa in an oversize nightshirt; Twilight was right in the middle of cleaning out his ear with his pinky. Meanwhile, Light was reclining in an armchair with his legs dangling over the armrest, his shirt messied with crumbs from the cookies he was eating. Finally, on the sofa next to Mini sat the honorable Hero of Time himself, wearing an unflattering pair of long underwear and scratching at his groin. After a short, awkward silence, Twilight removed his finger from his ear and waved at the newcomer.

"There's our new baby brother!" he said with a smirk. "Hey there, kiddo."

Wind opened his mouth to respond, but in his nervousness and shock he couldn't think of anything to say. At this, Light cocked an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked with a mouthful of cookies, "Did we say something?"

"N-No!" Wind responded, shaking his head. "I-It's just, I, uh… thought this was going to be less… er… casual…"

Mini scoffed. "Why wouldn't it be?" he said, slowly falling forward until catching himself on the seat of the sofa. He quickly readjusted himself until he was sitting properly on it. "It's just a hangout between friends, that's all."

"I… guess…" muttered Wind with a tilt of his head. "…To tell you the truth, though, I was expecting all of you to be… you know…"

"More 'heroic', right?" asked Time. He snickered and shook his head. "Well, we may be Heroes chosen by the Goddesses, but you'll be glad to know that we're really just a bunch of average guys, like you."

"Exactly!" exclaimed Light before swallowing another bite of his cookie. He grinned. "Trust me, the legends make us out to be a lot more exciting than we actually are."

The newest Hero blinked at them, the thought that such mythical beings could be so normal having never crossed his mind before now. Then, realizing just how silly he'd been, he relaxed a bit, chuckling nervously and scratching his cheek.

"…I guess so," he admitted. He laughed once more. "You know, that's actually kinda funny… er, no offense."

"None taken," said Sky, gently placing his hands on the younger Link's shoulders and leading him towards the coffee table, where a giant plate of chocolate chip cookies was sitting. "Come on, we need to start planning for your welcome party. Oh, and you can take as many cookies as you like - Time just baked them this morning."

"Baked them?" asked Wind, looking towards Time with wide eyes. "Time, you __bake__?"

Time shrugged. "I dabble a little."

Twilight reached over and grabbed two of the cookies, then offered them to Wind. "They're pretty good," he said looking over in Light's direction, "but you'd better grab some before __somebody__ eats them all first."

"Hey!" said Light, clutching his remaining cookies defensively, "Who said I was gonna — " however, he was promptly interrupted by a loud belch, to which the others responded to with snickers and guffaws.

"Ha! Nice one, Light!" cackled Mini before reaching for a cookie for himself.

At the sight of his predecessors' laughter, Wind, too, couldn't help but begin laughing. He then took the cookies he was offered, biting into one of them and lighting up at how soft and delicious they were. Who knew that some of the greatest men in Hyrule's history could be such a laid-back bunch - and who knew that the revered Hero of Time could bake such good cookies?


	110. Paranormal… Something or Other

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>by Queenie Z<strong>

_**Paranormal… Something or Other**_

It was a dark and slightly breezy night, and Light had decided to make himself comfortable in his armchair, a riveting book in his hands and a mug of delicious hot chocolate on the end table beside him. He sighed contentedly, turning the page before reaching for his mug; however, just as he finished savoring the sweet scent of his drink and brought it to his lips, he suddenly heard a loud, sharp _thud_.

He yelped in surprise, splashing some of his hot chocolate on his tunic before frantically looking around the room. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he sighed. Perhaps something had fallen to the floor in another room? He made a mental note to go pick it up after finishing the chapter he was reading - and startled yet again when another, louder _thud_ came from his front door.

"What the hell…?" asked Light to himself, shutting his book and setting his drink down on the end table. He stood, staring down his door with an anxious, furrowed brow as the banging continued, its pace steadily increasing. Finally, once the banging had reached a frenzied peak, the door slammed open, revealing seemingly nothing but a chilly breeze. Then, to the Hero's surprise, an invisible force began to move through the living room; the pictures on the wall of his parents and uncle began to sway violently, flowers jumped from a nearby vase and landed on the floor, and a floor rug rose from the floor and slapped itself back down, sending dust everywhere as it landed.

His warrior's instincts kicking in, Light immediately reached for the sword he'd propped up against his fireplace. However, before he drew it, he noticed an odd, familiar shape near the curtains that were now being tussled around. As observant as he was, it didn't take him very long to figure out what was really going on. With an irritated frown, he marched over to the "mysterious presence" and yanked away a bright red cape.

"So this is where my magic cape went," he growled. "Nice try, _Green_."

Realizing he'd been caught, the now completely visible Green froze in place, the curtains still in his hands. He turned to face his elder and gulped. "O-Oh, er…" He quickly let go of the curtains, dusting his hands off on his clothes. "I, uh, I guess you got me, Light…" He flashed him a sheepish grin. "How'd you know it was me, anyway?"

"Well, for one," began Light, slinging the cape over his shoulder and placing his other hand huffily on his hip, "I knew it couldn't be a ghost - this is the afterlife, everyone is technically a ghost here. And second of all," he motioned to the curtains with his head, "I saw your shadow on the curtain."

Green flushed a bright red, then scoffed incredulously. "I thought that cape was supposed to make you invisible!" he said, "How can something that's invisible have a shadow!?"

"Ask the ancient sages who made the cape, not me." Light pointed to the mess the younger Link had made. "You had your fun with your stupid prank - now clean all of this up and get out of my house!"

"Hey! I was just — "

"_Now_!"

Taking him by the shoulders, Light shoved him over to the pile of flowers he'd left on the floor, then went over to grab his drink and storm off to his bedroom. When he was gone, Green huffed to himself, crouching down to pick up the flowers.

"Fine, be that way," he muttered before shooting a dirty look over towards the open door. "So are you guys gonna come help me or what?"

Red, Blue, and Vio, who were all peering in from outside, shook their heads rapidly in unison. "No way! This was all your stupid plan in the first place!"

"I told you pranking Light was a bad idea!" said Red sulkily. "He's too smart!"

"Sorry, Green," Vio said with the slightest of grins on his face, "you're on your own for this one."

Green groaned and resumed gathering the flowers, grumbling under his breath the whole time.


	111. A Toast To Us

**The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga**  
><strong>by Queenie Z<strong>

_**A Toast To Us**_

**(Please note that this will be the FINAL HVS story before the series goes into a hiatus! Please read the updated FAQ at the beginning of this story for more details.)**

The first day of winter in the afterlife was always a time of joy and excitement. Not only was the winter weather rarely harsh, providing just the right amount of snow and ice for one's comfortable enjoyment, but it also marked the beginning of the Almsgiving season, a time when Hyrulians and others would share food, drinks, and special treats with their friends, family, and neighbors. Naturally, this special holiday did not die with the people who celebrated it, and as their little brotherhood steadily grew over the centuries, our Heroes of Legend found brand new ways that they could partake in these traditions together.

One element that had become a staple of the Links' festivities was a timeless winter drink - Light's special mulled apple cider, made from a recipe created by his mother and perfected by his uncle in life. It was a sweet and delicious treat, made with only the best apples and a rich medley of spices, sugar, and honey, and every year without fail Light would make gallons upon gallons of the drink for his fellow Heroes. For his first batch of the season, he would typically invite everyone over to his house to socialize as they waited for the cider to finish brewing and serve them personally, and this year was no exception.

After washing and drying his hands, Light turned his attention to the ten large mugs that sat waiting to be filled with apple-spice goodness. Then, he dipped his finger into a small dish of water before wetting the rim of one of the mugs with it. Finally, he reached into another dish for a pinch of brown sugar and began applying it evenly to the rim.

From his place at the wash bin, Duo stopped washing his utensils and peered over at Light. "What's that you're doing?" he asked.

"Oh, this?" Light lifted the newly garnished mug and showed it off with a grin. "Just lining the mugs with a little brown sugar, that's all. You guys liked it when I did it last year, so I thought I'd do it again!"

Duo beamed brightly. "Oh, right, I remember! That was a great idea - you really are a great host, Light!"

"Haha, well, gee, thanks," replied Light bashfully as he sat the mug down to begin work on another one. However, just as he was about to reach the water dish once more, the two were startled by an explosion of laughter coming from the other room. As it began to die down, Light dried off his fingers and turned to Duo.

"Looks like they're having fun without us, Duo," he said. "Let's go see what they're up to, eh?"

Duo nodded cheerfully, and they both walked over the edge of the kitchen, peering out into the living room where the other Heroes had gathered. There, they saw Green being the center of attention, puffing his chest out in an exaggerated fashion and speaking with a very poor impersonation of an Ordonian drawl.

"Well spank my pumpkins and call me Daddy," he bellowed, "it sure is a lovely day on this here ranch, ain't it, pardner?"

This caused the other Links to break into another round of chortling - including Twilight, who, in spite of his best efforts, was unable to hide the smirk of amusement at Green's very obvious attempt to impersonate him.

"Yes-sir-ee, time to head on out to the pasture and shovel some goat turds before comin' home to a house fulla cats!" Green pointed a thumb at himself for emphasis. "All in a day's work fer the Hero of Twilight!"

"H-Hey, now," said Twilight between chuckles, "that wasn't all I did at the ranch!"

"Yeah," said Mini cheekily, "you had to shovel horse turds, too!"

This ignited a third explosion of laughter, which only died down when Engie stepped forward to take Green's place.

"Okay, okay, my turn now - guess who I am!"

The others watched closely as Engie's face darkened into a scowl. Then, he turned towards Brown, taking a firm hold of his collar and causing him to yelp in surprise.

"H-Hey!" he said, "What are you — "

"Did I just catch you _breathing_ within ten feet of my sister!?" he said, giving Brown a gentle shake. "I buried my sword in the skull of a man four times my size - just think of what I could do to _you_…!"

Amidst the resulting laughter, Duo's voice cried out. "Oh! I know! You're Wind, right?" he said, raising his hand energetically.

Everyone turned to the two Heroes at the doorway, and Engie broke into a broad grin. "Good job, Duo!" he said, letting go of Brown's shirt, "Though it really ought to have been obvious."

"Oh, come on, Engie, you know I'm not that bad!" said Wind with a slight roll of his eyes.

"I don't know, Wind," said Time with a smirk, "I thought he captured your overzealous devotion to your family pretty perfectly."

"Yeah, well," said Wind, jumping out of his seat indignantly, "how about _this_?" He then covered his right eye with one hand and began gesticulating melodramatically with his other. "Oh, no, woe is me, the poor Hero of Time! My life is so tragic, and everything bad that's ever happened to Hyrule is all my fault! _Oh, the shame_! _Oh, the regret_!"

Time's smirk turned into an irate frown. "Oh, haha, very funny," he said.

"Whoa, hey, Wind," said Sky with a hint of concern in his voice, "let's not turn this into something mean-spirited, all right?"

"It ain't mean-spirited if it's accurate!" guffawed Twilight, who was probably laughing the hardest at Wind's impression.

After shooting a glare at his descendent, Time scoffed and waved his hand. "It's fine, it's fine," he said, "I can take a few jabs at my expense here and there."

"Oh, oh, guys, can I go?" said Brown as he stepped forward to take his turn. He shot Light a very conspicuous look of mischief. "Watch this." He then held his hands over his head to resemble animal ears and began hopping around in a circle.

At that, everyone began roaring with laughter once again - except Light, who turned bright red and gritted his teeth, marching back into the kitchen and returning with a leftover apple in his hand. Then, he marched into the living room, tossing the apple so that it hit him squarely on the rear. The younger Hero screeched and stumbled; then, while rubbing at the spot where he was hit, he gave Light an angry look.

"What was that for!?" he asked. "Can't you take a joke?"

"Can't _you_ learn to respect your elders!?" huffed Light as he returned to the kitchen. "None of you are going to get any of this cider if you keep making fun of me like this!"

"Oh, come on, Light!" protested Mini, "We were just having fun!"

"Yeah," said Engie. "We were making fun of everybody, not just you!"

"Maybe you should apologize anyway," said Duo, who, true to form, was trying to dispel the negativity that was brewing in the house. "He gets really embarrassed about the whole bunny thing, remember?"

Brown sulked. "…All right, fine," he said. He yelled towards the kitchen. "Hey, Light, I didn't mean to embarrass you!"

There was no response from the kitchen, however. After a short pause, Brown spoke up again.

"Come on, are you really that mad at us?" he asked. "I'm sorry, okay!? Geez…!"

At that, Light poked his head out of the kitchen again, his earlier scowl replaced with a big grin.

"Nah, I'm not really that mad," he said, "I just wanted to teach you a lesson." He then reentered the living room with a tray of five steaming mugs of cider, each garnished with a delectable lining of brown sugar. "Now who wants some cider?"

The entire room broke into chipper cries of "Me!" and "I do!", and Light began passing out the drinks, beginning with Sky and going clockwise around the room. Once he'd run out of drinks on his try, he asked Duo to help him garnish and serve the remaining mugs. Finally, after everyone else had been served, they took the last of the drinks for themselves, blowing on them before each taking a sip.

"Mmmm!" said Duo happily, "This has to be the best batch yet!"

"Yeah," said Green, "but I still think it'd be better with some brandy in it or something."

Light gave the younger Hero a look. "After what you and Twilight did out in the snow last year while drunk? _Forget it_."

Sky laughed heartily at the exchange. "You guys…" He took another sip of cider. "You know, I always love it when we get together like this, just laughing and carrying on - it's really special, you know?"

With a smile, Wind nodded. "Yeah," he said, "I've always considered you guys family, but that feeling's even stronger when we do something fun together."

"It's really a blessing, don't you think?" added Mini. "After all the hardship and suffering we had to go through as Heroes, after everything is all said and done in our lives… it's nice to be able to come together like this in peace."

"A brotherhood of Heroes who share the same name, the same destiny…" Time shut his eyes and smiled warmly. "When I was alive, I thought I was alone in being chosen, that nobody else would ever know what it was like…"

"Me too," said Brown with a small laugh. "I never would have dreamed of meeting you guys when I died - and yet here you are!"

Twilight couldn't help but laugh as well. "What, has Time's sappiness rubbed off onto the rest of you all of the sudden?" He looked towards Sky. "…But I guess while we're in the mood, Sky here oughta lead us in a toast. Don't you think so, Sky?"

"Good idea, Twilight." Sky sat up straight and looked around the room. "All right, then, what should we toast to this year?"

"To courage!" Suggested Green with a glint in his eye.

"No, we've done that too many times already," said Engie. "How about to wisdom?"

"Or maybe power?" added Light, "We haven't toasted to that virtue in a while."

"To friendship!" said Duo cheerfully; however, he quickly sulked a little in self-doubt. "…Or is that one too corny?"

Suddenly, Sky's face lit up as he got an idea. "How about this year," he said, "we simply toast ourselves?"

The other Links pondered this for a short moment, then nodded, making various noises of affirmation and looking towards Sky expectantly.

"All right, then," said Sky, lifting his mug high. "To us!"

"_To us_!" repeated the others in unison. Then, together, they drank heartily from their mugs, relishing the sweet taste of the cider and the loving warmth of their Heroic family.


End file.
